http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/12985Retirement party: Republicans should consider a name change
by Alan Bisbort | February 21, 2008
Like rats abandoning Exxon Valdez, Republican Congressmen are retiring in droves rather than face the sound thrashing that awaits them at the ballot box this November. Of course, each of the rats claims he's leaving to "spend more time with my family" and/or "pursue new challenges," but this is code for "I need a good lawyer to keep me out of prison" and/or "I'm cashing in my chips for a lobbying gig."
In case you missed it during last week's Winehouse-Spears news cycle, Rep. John Shadegg (R-AZ) became the 29th Republican to announce his retirement from Congress since last year. Shadegg's a veteran legislator who made a run for House Minority Whip last year and Majority Leader in 2006. In other words, he's a top GOP dog, not some low-rung nobody. This mass exodus proves that, at heart, Republicans are cowards, afraid of a fair fight and so lacking in principles they run at the first sign of one.
Stand your ground, you self-righteous rats!
See, it doesn't do any good to shout at them. They just keep running for the exits. By summer, that retirement total should be in the 30s.
Back in the good old days — that is, before Tom Delay and Jack Abramoff were caught gaming the system — Republicans in Congress floated on mounds of corporate cash and casino booty. They were assured reelection through gerrymandering and other Mob-style tactics. But the pig trough from which they've fed just went lean. Rather than try to fix the mess they created, however, they're going to bail and leave it up to someone else. The departing Republicans fully expect to be rewarded by their corporate masters with a cushy K Street office. Shadegg, in fact, was the target of an FCC probe over sleazy fundraising tactics, which only shows how eminently qualified he is to enter the private sector.
Sen. Trent Lott mirrored the moral, ethical and political bankruptcy of his party when he retired last December just days before a new law went into effect requiring Senators to wait two years before becoming lobbyists. In other words, so that he can line his pockets, Lott left Mississippi citizens on the hook for the expense of a special election (he still had four years left on his term). Lott was, is and always will be a rat and, in the long run, the American people are better off without those of his ilk in their most powerful legislative chamber. But too many others like him still remain.
If you needed to see the stark contrast in the two major parties at this moment in political time, you caught a glimpse of it last Tuesday, when Obama swept the Virginia, Maryland and DC primaries in landslide fashion while McCain limped to victory (Obama, despite battling an equally strong Clinton candidacy, took more votes than all the Republicans combined in all three races). In his victory speech, Obama offered a vigorous, hope-filled message and was surrounded by a "rainbow coalition" of supporters; McCain grimaced and spewed fear-based rhetoric about terrorists and the need for more wars and was surrounded by the saddest bunch of old farts I've seen on a TV screen since, well, the last Larry King telecast.
McCain himself is no longer spry either. At 71, he's battled melanomas and, given his short fuse, it's likely high blood pressure. Columnist Bob Novak recently wrote that Huckabee is "remaining in the race with no real chance of winning, barring a McCain stroke." Do Republican insiders know something we don't about his health? More of concern is McCain's mental state. He's prone to lashing out at people with whom he disagrees, including fellow Senators, spicing his invective with the F-word (real presidential, that). The last thing we need is another loosely strung Commander in Chief who only listens to what he wants to hear.
Perhaps McCain should just, uh, retire.
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