Five Ways Clinton Leads Obama

[babylonsister]

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/3/25/012/39464

Five Ways Clinton Leads Obama
by Cameron Fredman
Mon Mar 24, 2008 at 09:39:37 PM PDT


Over the weekend, Senator Evan Bayh suggested we measure the success of the candidates not by delegates earned, but by the electoral votes of the states they’ve won. In the spirit of Senator Bayh, I present you with five additional metrics that I pulled out of my ass. As you’ll see, Hillary Clinton is either winning or tied with Obama in every case.

I should say at the outset that this study is highly scientific and my methods are rigorous. Except where otherwise noted, the data for this study is available here. I have excluded American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and Democrats voting abroad, because their inclusion would be un-American. Similarly, I have excluded the District of Columbia, which isn’t even a state.

Total number of "yellow" states on Wikipedia’s map of the United States

CLINTON: 5

OBAMA: 4

By Barack Obama’s own admission, at the conclusion of his Iowa address, he noted, "we are not a collection of red states and blue states." He failed, however, to specifically identify the colors that should be assigned to the states. If anyone is to resolve this question, it is Wikipedia, the repository of all human knowledge, which makes clear that we are a nation of green, yellow, red, and pink states. It’s important of course that this study be conducted in a fair and nonarbitrary fashion, so I determined the color metric (yellow) by eliminating the states least frequently associated with submarines in Beatles songs. This yields a slight advantage to Hillary Clinton, 5 to 4.


snip//


Average Highest Elevation

CLINTON: 6135 Feet

OBAMA: 6097 Feet

Frankly, I’m surprised that more attention hasn’t been drawn to this. Obama claims to want to elevate the level of discourse, but he has failed in states with the highest elevations. Clinton has won on Mount Whitney (California), Humphreys Peak (Arizona), Boundary Peak (Nevada), and Wheeler Peak (New Mexico). Perhaps more significantly, there are so few peaks left that despite the close margins, Obama has no hope of regaining the altitude vote. Clinton also leads among states with the highest average mean elevation: (Clinton: 1908.8 feet Obama: 1457.7 feet).

Average Official State Mixed Drink

CLINTON: Wine, Milk, Coffee, Cranberry Juice, Orange Juice, Tomato Juice

OBAMA: Kool-Aid, Beer, Conecuh Ridge Whiskey, Milk, Moxie, South Carolina Grown Tea

It’s a close call, but on balance, Clinton has the better tasting official state mixed drink. Here’s how this is tabulated: Most states have an official state beverage (Wikipedia State Beverage List). Using equal parts of each state beverage from each state that each candidate won, I was able to produce two mixed drinks. I don’t want to go into the judging details except to say that Obama’s combination of Whiskey and Kool-Aid left me questioning whether his coalition of voters can hold together beyond the late night taco bell run.

Conclusion

It’s clear that the time has come for Obama to drop out of the race. By almost any measure imaginable (excluding delegates, popular vote, primaries, or caucuses), Clinton is leading.

[jgraz]

1. Hahah -- that's awesome

I especially love that Obama gets Kool-Aid as his "official" state drink! :rofl:

[Clear Blue Sky]

2. Funny!

[AllentownJake]

3. We laugh now

but for some reason I can hear Fast Eddie and Hoosier Bayh saying this crap on Meet the Press next weekend and Tim Russert not challenging them on it.