McCain recites neocon talking points in his...ah...speech.

[Ronnie Roach]

Yes....you too can be president! Requirements are the following....
1. You must have wealthy parents.
2. You must be a W.A.S.P.
3. You must be a Republican
4. You must have watched at least 48 hours of Fox news in your life time.
If you fit this description then get elected to the office of governor in any of the 50 states in the union first. Then you have a chance. One more requirement! You must have a disability like Dyslexia, Dementia, Latent Homosexual tendencies and be docile to your Neocon handlers. You will be our goofy fake leader. We will write your speeches, arrange your appearances and Fox news appearances. We will tell you what color tie to wear. If you are scaring the American people, you wear red. When announcing a tax rebate, for $300, you wear blue. If you want the Irish vote, you wear green, so on and so forth.
You see, as presenting yourself as a Homer Simpson, you will win the trust of the American people. They feel at ease with a dumb ass because Americans hate those egg head intellectuals! If you can be the perfect puppet, we will be the best puppeteers. Oh, the press will make fun the way you talk and the way you look, but that's Ok! Most Americans are stupid and ugly and you will make them feel better about them selves because you are worse off than them. Meanwhile, we will get our agenda accomplished. Contact any GOP office in your town. Thank you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pp5Vun18Siw

[Crazy Dave]

1. And you have to sign an oath in blood saying....

...that the troop surge in Iraq is working and that you will keep the war going for another 100 years, minimum.