Is "give her/them 'time'" paternalistic/sexist?

[housewolf]

I post this not as flame-bait, but as a perspective that bears giving some thought and consideration to, possibly even soul-searching.

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/06/hillarys-female-supporters-and.php

Hillary's female supporters and feminism
By Carol Lundergan - June 5, 2008, 11:07AM

I've been thinking a lot about this issue for the past few weeks, and I'm having a very hard time understanding where the hard-core, rabid, feminist Hillary supporters are coming from. I can certainly understand their disappointment and despair over her not winning the nomination (for some of them, Hillary was their first and last best hope at electing a female President), but I don't understand their willingness to abandon their Democratic and feminist principles and either sit out the election or vote for McCain. It seems that they became so emotionally invested in Hillary the person, instead of Hillary the candidate, that they have lost all objectivity and reason. Which leads me to my main train of thought. But before I begin, let me state that I realize there are male Hillary supporters. However, in perusing the pro-Hillary websites, it seems that the bulk of her most vociferous and outspoken supporters are woman of a certain age and experience, and it is this group of supporters about which I am writing.

OK, so here goes. We have been told time and time again over the past few months that we need to give Hillary supporters "time" to deal with their disappointment and their sorrow, and that Hillary herself needs "time" to drop out of the race. We are told that her supporters deserve "respect" and that their voices must not be silenced. It seems to me (and I consider myself to be a rather staunch feminist) that these are very condescending, paternalistic, patronizing statements and directives. The message is that her supporters are emotional, temperamental and thus have to be handled with kid gloves. I might be wrong, but aren't these the very same attitudes, misconceptions and generalizations that feminists have been fighting against all these years?

Why do only Hillary supporters need to be molly-coddled and "brought along"? Were Edwards, Richardson, Biden or Kucinich supporters given the same considerations? I was originally an Edwards supporter and I don't remember anyone saying that I needed "time" to deal with my candidate's decision to drop out of the race. I was disappointed to be sure, but as an adult I dealt with it, I looked at the remaining candidates, and I made the next best choice (in my opinion). Are Hillary supporters incapable of doing that? Are they that emotionally invested that they need to be given special consideration? And if they are, doesn't that just feed into the stereotype of the "weak, nervous, emotional" female crap?

I really believe that the underlying message, which is being pushed hardest by Hillary herself, is that she is a victim, her supporters are victims, and they will need to be coddled until they can pull themselves together. Now, I'm not saying there weren't sexist elements working against her in this campaign (although, in my opinion, not as many as some others may think), but being a passive victim, in my opinion, is not feminism. It is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

[LoZoccolo]

1. They're free to suffer the anguish of thinking it is if they so desire.

I'm not gonna stop them. I'm through with arguing with people who think they can read my mind.

[Captain Hilts]

2. Because in a longer run, everyone takes their time. Bradley took MONTHs to endorse Gore.

[leftofcool]

3. You think we consider ourselves "passive victims"

just because we might need time to decide how we may want to vote?

[LoZoccolo]

4. And if she doesn't need the time why is she taking until Friday? n/t

[Hydra]

5. I have a better answer

If Obama's supporters tell HRC's supporters to shut up and vote Dem in Nov., Obama will lose.

Guess what? That's happened more times than I can count on 2 hands here on DU, and I don't hang around in GD: P

The fact is, these people are VALUABLE in the eyes of the ones who want to win. Unlike us Kucinich and Edwards supporters.

[southern_belle]

6. housewolf, I've wondered the same thing.

I don't get it. By the way, Edwards was my first choice also.

[elfin]

7. ANYTHING they say or do will be the wrong thing --

If the seem impatient, they are "callous", "insensitive" to her needs. If they show grace and patience, they are "paternalistic".

That is the trap set by Hillary and many other bitter feminists I have met and observed - using gender tactics to get their way and always feeling abused by whatever is going on.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

9. They ain't feminists

They're bullies. Gender is nothing but an excuse.

Screw 'em.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

8. I got in trouble last night

for posting essentially the same thing. A few folks were mighty upset with me, and others agreed with me

Here's a link to what I wrote: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=3387520&mesg_id=3387631

Women are equal and don't need to be treated like fragile little creatures for whom the horrors of real political life are just too, too much to bear.

Pass me the bonbons, dear ............

[madmom]

10. You have never heard of men needing time to "come to grips" with their feelings?

[Igel]

11. You're absolutely right.

I know when I'm facing some change, I simply take my emotions in hand and do what needs to be done. Fired? Oh, well, that was so 20 seconds ago, I'm a different person already. Go to grad school? Excuse me, I need at least 0.25 seconds to adapt. Should my wife decide to leave me, I'm sure that I'll be over her before she inhales after telling me of her decision.

Candidate lost? Why, I can switch my emotions before my face could register the news.

I'm perfectly sure that had Obama lost, we'd see 99.9% of his black supporters saying, immediately, "What? He's not the candidate? So what: I support *my* candidate, Hillary!" I don't mean taking a minute. No, no. By the time the room stopped echoing with the word "lost" they'd have committed.

And when Edwards was out, I know all his supporters took scant nanoseconds to devote themselves heart and mind to a new candidate.

Accusing women of being merely human... how sexist.

And if Obama loses in the fall, immediately everybody will take themselves in hand. By the time the second hand quivers, preparing to move to the next second, all Democrats in the US will have moved on from the loss, ready to face a new and dynamic future.

Giving them time--days, even a week--to get over their disappointment would be so paternalistic, so condescending. Anybody like that, well, they're not even True Democrats.

That *is* what you'd say, isn't it?

[ExPatLeftist]

12. Perfectly sums up my thoughts on the issue in the last few days. K&R n/t

[Phred42]

13. HIllary and Bill have been presenting themselves as victums

(oh poor Hillary) and by association, her supporters as well.

Kind of fits with the BS strategies they have been using the past 6 months.

last ditch, kitchen sink, effort to get on the ticket.

http://www.mcclatchydc.com/215/gallery/39316-a40038-t3.html