Deliver us from scandal, Lord
By CARL HIAASEN
An Election Day prayer for the Sunshine State:
Dear Lord, have mercy on Florida. Please don't let it happen again here.
Not that we're blaming You for the voting debacle back in 2000. You're not the one who designed the ridiculous butterfly ballots that started the whole mess. It wasn't You who put Katherine Harris in charge, and it certainly wasn't You who caused all those silly chads to hang.
And don't worry -- we know You're not the one who stopped the recount and handed the presidency to You-know-who. That was the Supreme Court.
The rest, as they say, is history. Not that You need reminding, but the last eight years in this country have been basically a train wreck. Iraq, Katrina, the economic crash -- we're not whining, Lord, but our nerves are shot.
Everybody knows somebody who's lost their job or their pension or their home. Meanwhile, the government is spending $10 billion a month on a war that should never have been started, and hundreds of billions more to bail out banks for bad loans that shouldn't have been made.
November the cruelest month
Oh, did we mention that Osama bin Laden is still alive and well and cranking out home videos? Next time you have a spare lightning bolt . . . well, it's just a thought.
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