The Bush Mandate, The Messiah Obama

[theFrankFactor]

Democratic Senator Barack Obama is the President Elect of the United States of America as decided in a record setting election. Voter turnout in this election has surpassed all previous records as has Democratic voter registration. The margins of victory were far beyond needing to have judicial cronies step in like mommy and daddy in a schoolyard fight to declare the loser a winner. No, Barack won by a landslide compared to Bush the Blunderer. And the icing on the cake; Barack was not an asshole and didn’t have a notorious asshole, criminal like Karl Rove anywhere near his campaign. That was all taken care of by John McCain.

McCain supporters turned out by the dozens in rally after rally- even as many as hundreds turned out after McCain chose America’s favorite Secessionist wifey, Sarah Palin. Their exuberance ran just short of actually brandishing nooses, hoods and burning crosses. America’s Republican base in top form, with all of the race baiting, fear mongering, lies, distortions and hysterical nationalism, still couldn’t literally “scare up” enough votes to let their voter suppression tactics tip the scale for more of what put America in the shitter- Republican government hating corporate nanny state-ism.

George W. Bush, remember that guy, the captain of the unsinkable Republican ship the Titanic, that lame duck loser-in-chief who frequently peppered those mumbling, incoherent dry drunk rages his feeders called speeches with “mandate” and “the American people want, blah, blah, blah- insert any of the catastrophic blunders of the Bush Administration? Bush the Blunderer never actually won any election and managed to convince himself that he was literally god’s gift to humanity with a “mandate” and speaking for the “American People”. So what does that make Barack Obama? The candidate who actually won the popular vote by millions and the electoral votes by a crushing landslide… a Messiah?

Surely in fairness we can expect Barack Obama to have a mandate and to be speaking for the American People even more so than Bush the Blunderer can’t we? And just like our morally superior, family values Republicans, Barack would be entirely justified in calling for bipartisanship in the same way that Bush the Blunderer has over these catastrophic years of his rule. You know, bipartisanship- when the minority party votes with the majority or else become terrorist loving, America hating obstructionists? Yeah that bipartisanship.

And surely Vice President Joe Biden can assume the same position as Vice President Dick Cheney- a chameleon that can change from being part of the executive branch to the legislative branch depending upon which position allows him to avoid answering any sensible questions and avoid prosecution. And when Barack or Joe are called upon to testify they should insist they appear as a duet and refuse to do so under oath or just not do it at all if they don’t feel like it. They can blame it on national security. And when congress sends a bill to Barack to sign he can exempt himself from following it… hundreds and hundred and hundreds of times like Bush the Blunderer. The Obama administration can create fake news reports just like Bush/Cheney, disappear, torture and intimidate Americans, just like Bush/Cheney, limit the access of the press at press conferences to prostitutes- gay prostitutes, not-part-of-the-press-gay-prostitutes. I could go on and on and on.

One thing we can all as liberals be thankful for is that Republicans have such a superior moral character that they will always do the right thing and stand behind their President, especially during the infinite war on terrorism.

[ihavenobias]

1. K & R