Guardian UK: Fear and loving

[marmar]

Fear and loving
Tell me I'm not the only Obama supporter who wakes up at 4am worrying about him and how he can possibly cope with it all

Anna Shapiro
guardian.co.uk, Sunday 8 February 2009 21.10 GMT


"What a relief," said my friend Mark after the election of Barack Obama in November – but not for the reason you'd think, exactly. "Finally, I can stop arguing in my head with all these conservatives, trying to sway faith with reason, you know?"

I did know, but not because I'd ever spent a minute on it. I've had those kind of unending – and unbearable – arguments in my head, but only with people I've felt personally wronged by, like exes, and a rather coercive therapist (decidedly ex). Mark says he's now been able to stop because, "Obama's much smarter than I am. I've handed it off to him. Besides, we won."

Little did I know in November, though, that, as of January 20, I'd be waking in the middle of the night worrying about how the man we'd voted for would manage – worrying how he'd even sleep. Even as I marvelled at how many great things he managed to set in motion within the first 24 hours – 24 hours! – I flinched at the sight of headlines making innuendoes about his connection to Blagojevich; complaining of former Clinton or Bush pols in his administration; questioning the investigation into official standards regarding methods of interrogation even as Obama scheduled the closing of Guantánamo and the immediate end of torturing; criticising the stimulus package as too broad or too limited; complaining that healthcare for another 8 million children was far too little; and hey, where was that puppy he promised?

I tell myself it's just the hurly-burly of politics. I tell myself he's a strong guy; he can take it. I tell myself it's just the worst aspect of journalism, always manufacturing controversy and matters to deplore, and that it will be here today and gone tomorrow. But I identify with Obama's need to heal rifts, and so it tears me apart: all this tearing apart. Hasn't he got enough troubles? Must he part the Red Sea? ........(more)

The complete piece is at: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/feb/08/barackobama-obama-administration