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Little Green Men
By David Glenn Cox
Some days you just have to laugh. Broadway is dead and so is street theater, and the CIA is not far behind. Umar Farouk Abdumutallab, otherwise known as the boxer bomber, was apprehended after he tried to set off an explosive device first described by passengers as sounding like firecrackers.
Not to make light of a scary terrorist threat, but strapping black cats to your privates and setting them off is kind of funny. Funny because they really do take us for idiots. Remember that just because we've hired a new head coach doesn’t mean we’ve changed the team on the field.
Ever since the President’s speech at West Point, ramping up the war in Afghanistan and Pakistan and now Yemen, there has also been a ramping up of the national morality play. Good versus evil and now we’ve got the ball sac bomber to remind us of the scary bad guys out to get us if we don’t kill them even faster.
In an average year 18,000 reports of UFO sightings are reported to police across the United States, and in 2001 the CIA estimated that al Qaeda had 1,500 members worldwide. So you are ten times more likely to see a UFO than to run into an al Qaeda operative. Odd isn’t it, that when someone runs in and says, “I just saw a UFO!” we tend to roll our eyes? But when some sad sack says al Qaeda, it’s all lights and sirens, all Hollywood, all show business. But the airlines still don’t check cargo packages, it's too expensive. The government hasn’t banned travel from hostile countries; it’s too expensive for the airlines.
If a serious terrorist group really wanted to blow up an airliner, they wouldn’t have used a pecker bomber. Like the American teens in Pakistan, al Qaeda wouldn’t hire Umar off the street; he strikes me as a wanna be. He's like the copycats who call the police to confess to crimes they didn’t commit.
So, who is Umar? Who knows, but Nigeria is a long way from the al Qaeda home office. Probably some wanna be doofus who got hooked up with some CIA operatives looking for a doofus long on balls and short on smarts. Pumped him up with the seventy-two virgins rap, and well, you get the picture.
What makes me think that al Qaeda wouldn’t do such a thing? Well, for starters there is no al Qaeda; it is a creation of western intelligence agencies. Second is the timing. Every time George W. Bush got in trouble politically, a new, threatening Osama Bin Laden video appeared, and the same team is still out on the field. Might it have been that someone at Langley wanted to embarrass someone in Washington? These people play hardball and Umar gets a travel visa no problem? My son is a used car dealer and he has to check a government “no drive” list before he sells a Honda Civic. Meanwhile Umar waltzes right through without having his package checked.
Finally, this story hit the media with a big corporate push: “Al-Qaeda Group Says It Planned Airline Attack,” “Al Qaeda: We Did It,” and “Obama Responds to Christmas Bomber.”
"The American people should remain vigilant but also remain confident," Obama said. "We do not yet have all the answers about this latest attempt, but those who would slaughter innocent men, women, and children must know that the United States will do more than strengthen our defenses." Pledging to stop terrorists "anywhere," he specifically named "Afghanistan or Pak, Yemen or Somalia" as places where America would "seek its enemies."
This one happened in Detroit Mr. President. Are we going to invade Michigan now? "A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty Hi-Yo Silver!..."
Now, the source for the al Qaeda connection is a company known as IntelCenter. Just who is this IntelCenter? IntelCenter is a private contractor; the company "is a private contractor working for intelligence agencies". Its stated purpose is to "study terrorist groups and other threat actors and disseminating that information in a timely manner to those who can act on it. We look at capabilities and intentions, warnings and indicators, operational characteristics and a wide variety of other points in order to better understand how to interdict terrorist operations and reduce the likelihood of future attacks."
IntelCenter has had its information and credibility questioned after claiming videos from Osama Bin Laden were genuine while other experts questioned them. And where did IntelCenter find this damning information on Umar Farouk Abdumutallab? Why, the Internet! You know it's true if it’s on the Internet.
“IntelCenter said the statement from al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula called the attempt 'a huge blow to the myth of American and global intelligence services and showed how fragile its structure is.' Ben Venzke, chief executive officer of IntelCenter, said in a telephone interview that his group obtained the statement from the Internet. He wouldn’t specify the Web site, though he said the statement was released in the same manner that the al-Qaeda branch has released prior communications.”
IntelCenter has a sister Company, “Tempest Publishing,” and among their current titles is everyone’s favorite, “The al-Qaeda Threat,” filled, I’m sure, with fun facts gleaned from the Internet. Strangely, IntelCenter always emerges from the shadows with videos and pictures that support the administration’s position and never any information that runs counter to it.
So, no more blankets or getting up and going to the bathroom on an airliner, scary people are all around us. How do I know? I read it on the Internet. So if you are one of the 18,000 Americans who will report seeing a UFO this year, or if you see little green men, relax. The chances are slim that they are al-Qaeda operatives. How do I know? I read it on the Internet!
“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." (Mark Twain)
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