Peak Relationships: The End Of Suburbia Up Close And Personal (Carolyn Baker)

[Tace]

"Sailing the Seine", painting by Edouard Manet

Evidently, the only way to find the path is to set fire to my own life. --Rabindranath Tagore

May 9, 2010 (CarolynBaker.net) -- For most individuals who are aware of and preparing for the collapse of industrial civilization, the notion of a convergence of crises in the current milieu -- Peak Oil, climate change, economic meltdown, species extinction, and overpopulation -- is not new information. They know that never before in recorded history has the human race been confronted with the web of crises it is now facing. What they didn't anticipate, however, is that when sharing their bursts of enlightenment with spouses, friends, children, or parents, they would increasingly be perceived by their loved ones as something akin to psychotic alien life forms. What they had hoped for instead is that their dear ones would be willing to investigate the same topics they had so carefully researched and would join them in preparing to navigate a daunting future.

These days, wherever I speak or conduct a public event, and whenever I check my inbox for email, I hear similar stories of conflict or estrangement in the lives of courageous men and women who have chosen to dig deeper into the state of the macrocosm, only vaguely aware of what it might bring forth within the microcosm of their own lives. Onerous it is to be preparing for the future -- contemplating and acting on the weighty issues of where to live, how to earn a livelihood, what skills to learn, and how best to fortify oneself for survival in an unraveling world. But it is nothing like having loved ones distancing or parting ways when one wants and needs them now more than ever.

Sometimes it's about fear for the well being of loved ones; sometimes it's about wanting to share something as momentous as collapse and transition with our best friend who also happens to be our beloved. Sometimes it's about wanting to be validated, heard, and seen. Maybe it's just about wanting help with the extensive, arduous tasks of preparation. But sadly, perhaps tragically, in countless instances, the kind of joining for which our hearts desperately yearn cannot happen -- for whatever reason. That doesn't make our loved ones sick, bad, crazy, or stupid, but it does mean that we have reached a threshold in our relationship with them that will result in distance, perhaps permanent estrangement.

How do we cope with this? After all, isn't human connection the larger hope we hold for this transition? Isn't that what's it's all about?

Nothing I could say would make this easy, but perhaps the pain can be tempered with a larger perspective.

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[Demeter]

1. I Guess I'm Lucky to Be Single, Then

God knows, when I was married, the husband would not listen. After having been proved right more times than I could count, and then watching him put us all in jeopardy with his financial antics, I cut us loose.

It was painful, it was expensive, but maybe it will be still further justified by events.