Let's encourage tea baggers to eat junk food!

[less lee]

10/2/2010
The Great Fruit & Vegetable Conspiracy

I was more amused than a Libertarian under the influence of nitrous oxide at a free clinic. It was some Right wing politician--who shall remain nameless because I forgot his name--who said something totally asinine! “So, what else is new?” you might ask. I think these Right wing think tanks script their talking points just to rankle the Left wing intelligentsia; those cocktail-sipping WASPs who eat dead cow on expensive china just like to take the piss out of everybody.
In the 1960’s, The John Birch Society, a Right wing conspiracy group, claimed that the Beatles were Manchurian candidates from the Soviet Union who were sent to the US in order to seduce all females into becoming screaming barbarians. It was during the hysteria, they insisted, that Russian troops would quietly march in and take over! Well, I think they were wrong. It wasn’t the Beatles; it was the Herman’s Hermits, God damn it!
So let’s get back to the Right wing politician who was speaking at some senior citizens home. Now, I am paraphrasing here. He said, “The federal government is going to call you up to make sure you eat your fruits and veggies; if you don’t, then they’ll send you to a FEMA concentration camp! This is Socialism in the highest order!” Shit! Did I miss “Karl Marx’s Vegan Recipe Book?” I read “Das Kapital” and “The Communist Manifesto,” but I never saw that one. Maybe Amazon has it? But I digress…
Let’s ruminate about this allegation. The government forcing you to eat healthy! Hmmm! Cue new age music. Give me a minute…Okay…I’ve got it!
Basic economics is comprised of two principles: supply and demand. Most of us know that--unless you’re a Tea Bagger or live in Orange County, California. If you’re in the commercial food industry or agriculture, how do you create a demand for fruit and vegetables? You could advertise on television. You could ensure a product placement in the latest action movie or romantic comedy. Or…you could use government! Oh, but I thought government is the mortal enemy of free enterprise?! Well, contrary to popular belief, big business loves government! In California, many years ago, the state passed a compulsory car insurance act. If a cop stopped you and your car wasn’t insured, you would end up a jail cell with Charlie Manson. Did this hurt the insurance companies? Hell no! They got fatter than a Republican in a country club.
Let’s get hypothetical here. What would happen if the government forced you to eat fruits and veggies? Well per basic econ, the government has created a demand. So--you know what those evil Socialists did: They helped the food industry! (Unless Obama and his Marxist cohorts are well prepared, I highly doubt the Obama administration will nationalize the food industry!) So what happens next? The food industry hires more workers and transportation companies roll onto the super highway of profit! The stockholders make more on their investments! Everybody is happy! Except for the medical and big pharma industry: There will be less illness! So what caused that? The Government!
And that, my friends, is how free enterprise works! Socialism and capitalism is symbiotic and not adversarial!
So America: Eat your fruit & veggies! Or the Nanny State will give you a time out!

[COLGATE4]

1. I'd rather encourage them to eat s--t.

[Bitwit1234]

2. Instead of monetary donatations send them gift certificates

from McDonalds and Burger King. And since O'Donnell said she likes meatballs, lets make sure she gets them. Then she can't use the money to pay her rent and her utilities etc.