Rebecca Golden, Salon - "Fat girl: A history of bullying"

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Monday, Dec 6, 2010 20:20 ET
Fat girl: A history of bullying
Every day I walked a gantlet of humiliation. By the age of 12, I wanted to kill myself
By Rebecca Golden



http://www.salon.com/life/life_stories/index.html?story=/mwt/feature/2010/12/06/fat_girl_history_of_bullying

At age 5, the last age at which I had a normal body mass, the school football coach's son punched me in the face. I have no memory of what prompted this; small boys can be a strange and violent people. I tasted blood before I felt pain. I am usually quick with a clever line, but the perfect comeback always escaped me in those moments. No matter how many times it happened, I was always surprised, devastated anew by the meanness, by the cutting words, by a classmate's fist.

But soon, they were calling me fat. I wore the ugly Catholic school uniform, a brown plaid pinafore with a white blouse and Peter Pan collar. Under this hot mess, I wore cheap polyester pants, also brown. All the girls had them.

"Fat pig, fat girl, fat thing!" This boy never had a name. He was older, in another grade. He threw one of the red rubber balls at me, hitting me in the stomach, laughing as the weight knocked the wind out of me, leaving me gasping for breath on the ground. Catholic school, that failed experiment in my religious education, ended shortly afterward.

Being "the fat girl" happened suddenly. In fact, it happened before I was actually, medically, fat. When children started teasing me, I probably only weighed five pounds more than I should have for my height. But kids seize on small differences. The tall child is a beanstalk, the short kid is a shrimp. By the time my weight became a problem -- when I really was the fattest person (adults included) in school -- I had long since given up weighing myself or caring. Making it through each brutal day became the only goal. The rest of it -- my health, my body -- fell away. By the time I cared again, after I graduated from high school, I weighed nearly 400 pounds.

[AnnieBW]

1. Been there, done that

Got the emotional scars. I'm still fat, BTW.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

2. Same here

Never hit the same weight as the author (more like 50 pounds overweight)...

...and kids can be some of the cruelest organisms on the planet.

During my freshman year in high school, I went on Weight Watchers. This was the original program put together by Jean Neiditch...no "points," no "regular food" like pizza, etc. It was basically meat and fruit and vegetables and bread, no starches like rice or potatoes. I didn't go to the meetings. My mom was on the program, so she started to cook the same things for me that she was cooking for herself.

Lost the weight gradually...one to 2 pounds a week, some weeks no weight loss...that's how "healthy" diets work. As I dropped the pounds I did NOT buy new clothes.

Lost the rest of the weight over the summer. THEN I bought the new clothes. Went back the first day of my sophomore year and jaws dropped everywhere. Moved to California in my junior year.

But yes, the emotional scars are far, far worse than the weight itself. Sorry you had to get them too.

:hug: