"My only friend was a rat I named Sheila. She was a heterosexual rat..."

[Amerigo Vespucci]

http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2010/12/god-damned-liars-no-match-for-sheila.html

Thursday, December 09, 2010
God damned liars no match for Sheila

Sen. McCain asked to guestpost again. Please be kind to him. he knows where I live.--JC



Goddamit, I spent almost six years in a Vietcong prison camp. My only friend was a god damned rat I named Sheila. She was a god damned heterosexual rat, so I had no problem with inducting her into the Air Force. Airman Sheila served me well. Hygiene was always a problem, so I ordered her to eat my "cheese." Nothing wrong with that--she's a lady airman, after all. And, dammit, she encouraged it by wearing that fur coat with all the god damned mangy spots in the most alluring places.

But then, after I came home, she wanted to become a citizen. I said, "No, goddammit, you're not some kind of white lab rat; you're a god damned dink rat. America is for god damned Americans."

Now, I'm not heartless. She served my country well. Recognizing that, I got her a work visa so she could advise me. That's about all she can do these days--she stopped moving and went all flat back in '69, but I keep her in my wallet, and she advises me.

She was the one who advised me to threaten Gaby Pacheco with arrest. Gaby was a former supporter of mine. I once used her back when it was OK to like Mexicans. She gave a speech for me. But things have changed since then. That's why Sheila told me to have her arrested. Mrs. Pacheco should be god-damned thankful for that. Sheila usually commands me to kill.

[burning rain]

1. Goddammit, that's funny. You're a damn good American for posting it.

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