RE recent debate/letter to the editor

[Francesca]

Catastrophic if I am posting in the wrong location. I am new. Below is a letter I wrote in the am after the debate to send my local papers. Unfortunately most of them have word count restrictions which made it rather difficult for me.. In any event would appreciate any constructive criticism prior to send off.


To the Editor,
During the debate John Kerry erased all doubts in my mind that he could be a viable alternative to George Bush in the eyes of the undecided. I previously supported Kerry but was anxious to see if he could make a case for himself that would mitigate some of the damage the media’s done to his image.

On the subject of terrorism and its threat to our country: it is my opinion that US foreign policy for the last 50 years has alienated/isolated/ and deliberately under developed a number of weaker nations (look at the Caribbean) and I believe it is those policies which may have been in the name of freedom (but more closely resemble imperialism) that have become a major catalyst in terrorism. Terrorists are not fighting a "War on freedom" as this administration repeatedly tells us. That is hopelessly simplistic. “Terrorists” are in fact fighting a war on their own perceived enslavement. Whether they are correct about that perception is at the moment irrelevant. The fact is that perception is the driving force behind their hatred of us and that perception cannot be addressed simply by military might. In fact this solution is only going to exacerbate the situation. People should think before accepting Bush’s elementary school version of foreign policy. Bush needs to stop insulting our intelligence. One case in point: the school children in Russian who were brutally murdered a few weeks ago were killed by Chechnyan rebels; NOT by Al QUEDA.
If you look at the various terrorist groups around the globe most of them are fighting wars for independence. Instead of a war on Freedom it’s a war for Freedom. Please do not think for one second I am defending these people. I am trying to point out that you can’t successfully fight an enemy if you don’t have even a basic understanding of their agenda and frankly either the Bush administration is completely ignorant and passing this ignorance on us (I don’t believe this to be the case) or the bush administration is lying to us and hoping we are too brainless to know the difference. That cheap shot about the school slaughter during the debate was an attempt to reinforce the notion that AL QUEDA is everywhere. The reality is that DISCONTENT is everywhere. From the Basque Separatists in Spain to the Tamil Tigers in Sri Lanka there are unique groups fighting for unique agendas. Many of these groups have ZERO interest in the United States at the moment.
It is my firm belief that another 4 years of Bush will bring escalating terrorism, weakened alliances, escalating national debt, disastrous reversals in environmental protections etc, and a “Catastrophic Success” in the destruction of our constitutional rights.

[Francesca]

1. additional note

I am concerned i will sound like i am sympathizing too much with "terrorists" and will only anger anyone who has yet to decide who they will be supporting.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

2. A couple of editorial notes (mostly punctuation and spelling)

On the subject of terrorism and its threat to our country: it is my opinion that US foreign policy for the last 50 years has alienated, isolated, and deliberately underdeveloped a number of weaker nations (look at the Caribbean), and I believe it is those policies which may have been in the name of freedom (but more closely resemble imperialism) that have become a major catalyst in terrorism.
(I think you can eliminate this whole first part and get to your main point. I'll also cut out the parts that either are repetitious or don't fit.)

Terrorists are not fighting a "war on freedom," as this administration repeatedly tells us. That is hopelessly simplistic. “Terrorists” are in fact fighting a war on their own perceived enslavement. Whether they are correct about that perception is at the moment irrelevant. The fact is that perception is the driving force behind their hatred of us and that perception cannot be addressed simply by military might. In fact, this solution is only going to exacerbate the situation. People should think before accepting Bush’s elementary school version of foreign policy.

One case in point: the school children in Russia who were brutally murdered a few weeks ago were killed by Chechen rebels, NOT by Al Qaeda. That cheap shot about the school slaughter during the debate was an attempt to reinforce the notion that Al Qaeda is everywhere. The reality is that DISCONTENT is everywhere. From the Basque Separatists in Spain to the Tamil Tigers in Sri Lanka there are unique groups fighting for unique agendas. Many of these groups have no interest in the United States at the moment.

Please do not think for one second I am defending these people. I am trying to point out that you can’t successfully fight an enemy if you don’t have even a basic understanding of their agenda, and frankly either the Bush administration is completely ignorant and passing this ignorance on us (I don’t believe this to be the case, or the Bush administration is lying to us and hoping we are too brainless to know the difference.

It is my firm belief that another 4 years of Bush will bring escalating terrorism, weakened alliances, escalating national debt, disastrous reversals in environmental protections etc, and a “Catastrophic Success” in the destruction of our constitutional rights.
(Your letter will be better if it sticks to one subject, "terrorism," so say something like, "It is my firm belief that another four years of Bush will bring us escalating terrorism, as well as other catastrophic effects.")

By the way, you might also want to point out that terrorists are not armies, but small bands of individuals, so the appropriate way to go after them is not with military force but with police work, as the Europeans have done successfully over the years.

[Francesca]

3. Excellent suggestions thank you

your last point is perfect. thanks very much