http://www.whoslying.org/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=636&Itemid=2In "Without a Doubt", New York Times, Oct. 16, 2004, Ron Suskind quoted a “senior advisor to Bush” who said people like Suskind were ''in what we call the reality-based community,'' who ''believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality.'' He continued:
''That's not the way the world really works anymore… We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.''
Having been heavily indoctrinated in the “reality-based community”, we had some difficulty understanding what exactly this senior aide was getting at. So it was to our great pleasure and surprise that the President of the United States, George W. Bush, agreed to sit down with Whoslying to explain the difference between these two world views.
WHOSLYING: First of all, thanks for agreeing to speak with me.
BUSH: My pleasure.
WHOSLYING: I want to talk with you about what you mean by “reality-based community”, but first off, I’d like to clear up, once and for all, the question about your National Guard record. On your application form, next to the question “Do you volunteer for Vietnam?” you checked no.
BUSH: That’s right.
WHOSLYING: Later, you were asked in an interview if you had volunteered for Vietnam, and you said “No.”
BUSH: That’s right.
WHOSLYING: Then your campaign chairman Marc Racicot came on NPR and said you had volunteered.
BUSH: Mmm-hmm.
WHOSLYING: So which is it?
BUSH: I volunteered.
WHOSLYING: But when you were asked this question before, you said you hadn’t.
BUSH: That’s right.
WHOSLYING: So again, which is it? They can’t both be correct, can they?
BUSH: I can see why this would confuse some people, so let me try to explain. You see, back then my service wasn’t really an issue, and when I was asked if I had volunteered, I said I hadn’t. But now my service is an issue for a lot of people so I’m telling them I did volunteered, and so I have. I don’t see why you’re having so much trouble with this.
WHOSLYING: Uh… this wouldn’t have something to do with the “reality-based community” issue, would it?
BUSH: Yes, it does.
WHOSLYING: Please explain.
BUSH: You see, I would define the reality-based community as those who rely on observation -- academics, journalists, researchers… people who put their faith in the faulty creations of man like science. But the new way of thinking puts faith in a higher source.
WHOSLYING: God?
BUSH: No. My instincts, which happen to be in tune with God’s will quite a lot.
WHOSLYING: But what does your instincts tell you about whether you volunteered or not?
BUSH: My instincts don’t tell me what reality is but what reality should be. As Mr. Suskind quoted one of my advisors as saying, we’re an empire now and capable of creating a new reality.
WHOSLYING: Speak a bit more about that. How does one create a “new reality”?
BUSH: By believing in it. See, when I was building a case for war, there was Weapons of Mass Destruction. Hussein had to be stopped because he was an imminent threat.
WHOSLYING: But, there are no Weapons of Mass Destruction.
BUSH: That’s why we didn’t go to war for that. We went to free the Iraqi people from a nasty dictator. That’s what this was about.
WHOSLYING: You just said it was about Weapons of Mass Destruction.
BUSH: Sure, it was about Weapons of Mass Destruction. Saddam refused to disarm so we disarmed him. Now he doesn’t have any WMD, so we’re there to liberate the Iraqi people from a terrible dictator…
WHOSLYING: But you didn’t disarm him… he never had any weapons to disarm.
BUSH: Just because he never had any weapons doesn’t mean we didn’t disarm him, Dylan. You’re not listening to what I’m saying. Let me finish. Let me finish. Now these reports, the Kay report, the Deufler report, they confirm what I’m saying to you…
WHOSLYING: Actually, the Deufler report and Kay report says Saddam didn’t pose a threat…
BUSH: See, there you go again. You think the report contradicts me because that’s what the report says. But that’s the old way of thinking, Dylan. The world doesn’t work that way any more. I’m telling you those reports vindicated me.
WHOSLYING: It seems to me what you’re saying is that truth is whatever you say it is.
BUSH: I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.
WHOSLYING: But if you say it, it is true.
BUSH: I’m a man of my word.
WHOSLYING: Then why don’t you just say there are WMD’s in Iraq now?
BUSH: Unfortunately, there are still a lot of people in the reality-based community who believe that.
WHOSLYING: But isn’t saying there aren’t weapons recognizing reality?
BUSH: No, Dylan. In the new reality all that matters is what people believe. If everyone believed there were WMD in Iraq, I guarantee we’d still be saying it today. Take a person from the Midwest for instance. Now Kerry will tell them our jobs are going overseas, the deficit’s increasing, there are less people with health care. These are all facts, Dylan. Facts are the old way of thinking. When I go to Iowa, I tell these people the country’s moving forward. We’re creating jobs. We’re democratizing the Middle East. Which country would you rather live in: mine or Kerry’s?
WHOSLYING: But wouldn’t that be lying?
BUSH: Not if I believe it, Dylan. I believe we’re creating jobs and moving forward.
WHOSLYING: The fact that we’re losing jobs is reality, so it’s…
BUSH: Old way of thinking.
WHOSLYING: Gotcha.
BUSH: Like just the other day, an aide comes to me and says, “Mr. President, there’s been an incident in the Green Zone.” And I told him, “No there wasn’t. The Green Zone’s impenetrable. The Green Zone’s secure.” So now there’s no problem.
(BUSH turns to aide standing at the doorway.)
Isn’t that right?
AIDE: That’s correct, Mr. President.
WHOSLYING: That sounds irresponsible…
BUSH: Making the Green Zone safe is irresponsible? In fact, I think there have been far too many incidents in Iraq lately, so I’m going to make the Green Zone bigger.
AIDE: Great idea, Mr. President.
BUSH: It’s stable. How long’s it been since we had an attack in the Green Zone?
AIDE: Never, Mr. President. The Green Zone is impenetrable.
BUSH: So let’s make all of Iraq a Green Zone!
AIDE: That’s a great idea, Mr. President.
WHOSLYING: So you’re saying, if you can convince a majority of something, that becomes the new reality?
BUSH: Precisely. So why wouldn’t we want to make the new reality as good as possible?
WHOSLYING: What if I convinced everyone that you didn’t go to Iraq to liberate the Iraqi people. Would that be true, even though it’s reality?
BUSH: That makes me look bad. How are you going to convince my followers it’s true if it makes me look bad?
WHOSLYING: I think I’m finally beginning to understand now. The fact that I completely made up this entire interview and never spoke with you in my entire life only means it didn’t happen in the reality-based community. But in the new reality, if I believe this interview happened and it helps convince people nothing’s your fault and everything’s going well, then it really did happen.
BUSH: Bingo!
WHOSLYING: I believe, I believe, I believe…
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