Home invasion

[trof]

Just stepped into the kitchen for another cup of coffee and there's a guy standing in front of my refrigerator with the door open. He's wearing a belt with some electrician's tools hanging on it. There's a satchel open on the counter with some kind of electronic gadgets in it.

"What are you doing in my kitchen?"
"Nothing."
"What do you mean 'nothing'? Who are you? How the hell did you get in here?"
"Door was open."
"The HELL it was! But that's beside the point. You can't just come walking into someone's house at six o'clock in the morning, or ANY time, for that matter."
"Sure I can."
I grab a large cleaver from the knife rack.
"Look, asshole, you're about to leave here with fewer parts than you came in with. For the last time, who are you and what are you doing here?"
"JEEZ! WHOA! OK, OK. I'm an installation technician with MegaMarketingInc. We just want to install a little gadget in your fridge that will tell us each time you open the door and what items go in or out. It just reads the bar codes. Won't affect your fridge at all...well...it MIGHT not run quite as cold as it did, but it'll still be cold enough. Oh, yeah, every time you open the door an ad will be projected onto one of the inside walls."
"This is UNBELIEVABLE! How the hell did you get in here. I know I locked up last night."
"They issue us a ULD, Universal Lock Disabler. Opens any lock in the world. Completely electronic. Leaves no marks, does no damage to the lock. Just momentarily disables it."
"OK, look...I don't really give a damn HOW you got in here. I just want you OUT. And take that damn gadget OFF of my refrigerator."
"Sorry, I can't remove it. I only have the installation tools. You'll have to contact the company and they'll send you the necessary tools and removal instructions. It's kinda complicated though. A lot of folks can't do it."
"This is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard of. I'm calling the cops."
"Go ahead. It's not against the law."
"Breaking and entering isn't against the law? Since WHEN?
"Not if you use a ULD. There's no law against it, at least not yet."
"Never mind. Just get the hell out of my house."
With a self-satisfied smirk he picks up his satchel and leaves. I follow him out the front door. He's headed across the lawn to my neighbor's house.

You're probably way ahead of me. It wasn't my fridge, it was my computer.
And yes, I've used various pop-up stoppers and adaware, etc. "They" keep finding a way around them. The point is that I shouldn't even have to HAVE a program that keeps unwanted stuff off of my computer.
I'm sending this to my congressman, senators, and to any newspaper that will run it.
Feel free to use it if you want.
:grr:

[ElsewheresDaughter]

1. i have no problem with pop-ups and i have no blocker...my machine is .....

an antique...a dino 1995 IBM Aptiva...they have forgotten me...old and useless :shrug:

[DebJ]

2. You got that right!!!!!! I feel invaded every 20 minutes or so. This

should be illegal....ESPECIALLY those $%^& screens that take over your entire screen and you can't get out unless you boot and lose whatever you were doing.

[TXlib]

3. I'd have butchered the fucker with my cleaver

And served him to the neighborhood dogs.

[Stuckinthebush]

4. Damn, Trof!

You had me scared there for a minute that you had an invader in your house this morning!

Don't do that, pal!

As for the sneakyware, I agree, it is amazing that this is legal.

[trof]

5. Hi. Long time no see.

Well, I DO feel 'invaded'.
It's time for this crap to stop.

[Hubert Flottz]

6. But you need that Viagra!

They can tell that too! I thought the BU-STAPO and Big Jon had nailed you dude!

[trof]

8. I NEVER!

So quit saying that.
;-)

[Hubert Flottz]

10. I wish I'd get hold of the bastard's Momma that sends that viagra

spam! I'd have his Mommy tell him first hand(job)that I don't need false DRUGS like Bob Dole and Rash Lameballs take!

[Muddleoftheroad]

7. The disconnect

At a basic level, the political class in America is out of touch with everyday life. They don't hassle with such trivialities as working on their computer. If it goes wrong, someone else copes with it. I am reminded of a "West Wing" episode where none of the main characters except for the president's assistant even knew the price of milk.

They need some lessons in real life.

[trof]

9. Well, I'm starting my own campaign.

Just sent a cleaned up version of the above to the major newspapers in Alabama.
Will print it for politicians, because they don't (meaningfully) respond to e-mails.
LUDDITES!

[pintobean]

11. It is what it is.

Until we can change it, we have to deal with it. Here are some of my best defenses.

Alternative browser – IE is used by nine out of ten users, making it the target. Using a different browser brings me in under the radar.

Pop ups- I use the Netscape (Mozilla) browser, which has a fine pop up stopper built into it.

Email – A free online account is very useful. My main email account is for friends and family. It never gets spammed because I never use that address online. The freebee gets spammed like crazy. I just empty it before I use the address, then go back later to get and move the info I want. Also, I never just forward an email. I copy the body and paste it into a new email. This cuts the chain of all those forwarded addresses.

Adware – I use the latest version of Ad Aware, updating it before I run it weekly. Spybot is said to be better, but I had some problems after using it.
Spyware programs usually piggyback on other programs you install. It’s usually mentioned in the license agreement as third party software.

Antivirus – It starts at start up and is always running. I update it and do a full system scan weekly. I also do a virus scan on everything I download.

Firewall – I have broadband, so it’s required. It’s always on and I update it weekly.

[Devlzown]

12. I use Mozilla, too.

No pop-ups. Ever.:)

[pintobean]

13. Not even at CNN?

They use flash for their pop ups. I haven't figured out how to block them. My kids use flash all the time, so I don't want to disable it. Anyone have a solution?

[Devlzown]

14. I rarely go to CNN, but I just checked it out.

I see what you mean -- those pop-ups are a bit more sophisticated than the kind I've seen in the past. They aren't as bothersome as the others, though, because at least they aren't covering up any text. They're more like built-in ads than pop-ups in that respect.