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RBHam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 05:47 AM
Original message
Brrring, Brrring...(satire)....like you wouldn't be able to tell...
Edited on Sat Jan-17-04 06:19 AM by RBHam
"Hello, Prime Minister's office. How may I help you?"

"Hi. This is the White House calling. President Bush would like to talk to Prime Minister Martin."

"OK. Just a minute, I'll connect you...(click) Sir? President Bush is on the phone..."

"By all means! Thank you, Patty. Please put the call right through! Ahem...
(click)Hello, Paul Martin here."

"Please hold for the President, sir...(click)"

"Paulie Canuck? You there? Hee, hee...you remember that nickname, Paulie Canuck?"

"I....er....yes, Mr. President. Quite endearing, really..."

"Yeah! Heh, heh...you don't want to know what I called that Cretin guy..."

"Um, you told me what you called him at the conference. I've been willing myself to forget it..."
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/01/13/international/americas/13CND-PREX.html?hp

"Well, enough chit chat. I s'pose you'd like to know why I called?"

"That would be nice, Mr. President..."

"Okay. How'd you like to visit the White House next month? After all, now that we're friends again..."

"That would be quite an honour, sir. As I recall, you never extended that courtesy to my predecessor..."

"Pre-do-who? Yeah, well, you're with us not against us. I never trusted that French-speaking retard...what's wrong with his face anyway? Ugly sum'bitch..."

"Excuse me, sir. But I must protest, he was a democratically elected representative. Surely, you could display more respect..."

"Ugly is ugly, Paulie. Speaking of that, I'd like to ask for one favor..."

"Okay, what would that be?"

"You make sure you bring that that boy with the nice bone structcha. with ya, y'hear? (paper rustling) Scott Reid?"
http://www.globeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20040116.wreid0116/BNStory/Front/

"Well, of course. He's a trusted and vibrant member of my staff."

"Vibrant? Does that mean he likes...y'know...flowers?"

"Err...I'm not that intimate with his personal life..."

"Heh, heh...leave that to me...I mean...okay! Thanks, Paulie! See ya next month. Gotta go...God told me that I got a Crusade to lead...and flowers to get...do ya think he'd like a nick name? Hmmm. Scottie Violets? Hell! I'll think of somethin'...(click)..."

"Quite. (click) Patty?"

"Yes, Prime Minister?"

"Put me through to Scott Reid's office. I'm going to have to ask him how far he'll go for the sake of his country."
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 05:50 AM
Response to Original message
1. You are truly, truly evil
:evilgrin:

I'm not much better. I posted the Globe and Mail story over on Free Republic and they got a kick out of it.
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RBHam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 06:18 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. When one prods the freepers with a provocative post...
And one brags to us about just such an exploit. Said braggart is required by obscure DU law to furnish a link to the aforementioned provocative post.

Really.

Poor breeding, perhaps? Born somewhere besides Saskatoon, Saskatchewan? The true center of the universe? Hmmm...

I jest. 'Tis a trait of mine, admired by some, scorned by others, taken for granted by those who know me well...
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Jackpine Radical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 12:18 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. Ah, yessss.
Sasquatchatoon. Have an old friend from there, or at least he went to school there. From Edmonton originally, IIRC. Civilization you say?
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RBHam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 12:28 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Very advanced civilization...
But so tied to the fortunes of the US, that we suffer economically when you guys do...

For God's sakes! Bring in a progressive tax rate!
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The Mighty Boot Donating Member (50 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 06:37 AM
Response to Original message
3. I pity anyone
who has to work on a personal
level with this, this--thingamajig.

I know it's a clumsy attempt at humor but he is
really reaching.

If Chimpleton turned out to be gay,
it would be rapturous indeed.

Watch your back Mclellan.
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RBHam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 07:38 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. The Nickname Bully
Whatcha gonna do? Impeach him?
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coda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 08:52 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. Must get fairly tense for Rove and Co, whenever *'s on autopilot.


Hence, his 11 press conferences compared to the dozens of press conferences that prior Presidents gave in the same timeframe.

That's the one pleasure I can take from seeing one of his speeches, is knowing how he makes them sweat.

When outside of campaign appearances and other vetted crowds, they guy is second to none for production of nervous/gratuitous "laughs".


Reminds me of his strange admission of "comedic block" when asked a straightfoward question about Saddam and Al-Qaeda.

(Then again, maybe the notion of Saddam being considered a comparable threat to Al-Qaeda was so absurd, and it's humor so self-evident, that the synaptic effect was akin to dropping a monkey wrench into a gearbox.)


"That's an interesting question," he replied. "I'm trying to think of something humorous to say but I can't when I think about Al-Qaeda and Saddam Hussein."

- *'s bizarre response to a reporter's straightforward question about "who poses a bigger threat to America, Saddam or Al-Qaeda?".


---------

To be fair to the pResident* though, I'v got to hand it to him on the classic, "Do You Have Blacks in Brazil?"


THAT, was f***ing brilliant. :-)


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RBHam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 12:14 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Cold sweats
They are terrified that Bush will make another one of his "Freudian slips"...

"I wouldn't put it past me."
-George W Bush, after the anthrax attacks, when asked whether he was concerned that another anthrax attack could come soon.
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peekaloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 02:15 PM
Response to Original message
9. lol
but wouldn't the Pig Farm be a tad more suitable.....ya know, for privacy.
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Moderator DU Moderator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-17-04 04:32 PM
Response to Original message
10. Locking
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