Saddam's Trial Set For Modesto

[Oilwellian]

Despite mounting protests from Iraqi Shiites demanding that the U.S. turn over Saddam Hussein to them for trial, interim administrator Paul Bremer III announced today that the former Iraqi dictator would be put on trial this spring in Modesto, California.

“We needed to find a place where jurors were likely to give Saddam a fair trial,” Mr. Bremer explained to reporters. “In Modesto, almost no one has heard of Saddam because the only news they have been getting for the last year has been about Scott Peterson.”

In contrast with the Shiites, who took to the streets to protest the decision, Modesto residents were jubilant at the prospect of hosting the high-profile trial, especially after losing the Peterson trial to San Mateo County.

“The economic impact of losing the Scott Peterson case was devastating,” said Ryan McCoy, who owns a café in downtown Modesto and sells gallons of Evian water to visiting journalists. “That’s why it’s such a good thing that we got Saddam – whoever he is.”

<more> :D
http://borowitzreport.com/

[Sugarbleus]

1. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA..........That is toooooooooooo funny! Some of you DU folk are really brilliant. lol lol

[Valjean]

2. Problem

The problem with handing Saddam over is that two groups want him, the Shiites and the Kurds.

Perhaps the best solution is to tie various body parts to ropes and let them engage it tug of wars over the parts.

Seriously, Saddam is THEIR brutal dictator. Don't piss off the locals any more than they already are. Saddam is living on borrowed time ANYWAY!!! Give Saddam to the people of Iraq and let THEM have the satisfaction of finishing the job in the matter of their choosing.

Hung, Drawn, Quartered, disembowled, beheaded, Electrocuted, impaled, stoned, whatever. He didn't BRUTALIZE Americans. So the method of his demise SHOULD NOT be left to us.

I wonder if Bush Sr will show up in Saddam's cell at some point to say: "I played you like a fiddle. You gave us our in to putting troops in the Middle East and securing our long term goal of colonizing the region. Have a nice time you stupid FUCK!!!!"

[Oilwellian]

5. It won't be that easy

The Shiites want the Bush crime family on trial right next to Saddam. Oh, to dream.

Iraqis want Saddam's old U.S. friends on trial
http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=topNews&storyID=4168353

[NewHampster]

3. What a great way to end my day. Thank you

[kskiska]

4. Gary Condit will be chosen as a juror

and will be the deciding vote to acquit Saddam because of the way he was harassed by the media and U.S. officials.

[buckeye1]

6. Well the Iraq's demand,

that Jacko and Martha Stewart be tried in Baghdad. An unidentified spokesman said, "You can have him,we know where the cable news crews will flock. We need the money and they will get a just trial here. Also Americans will see what the have done to us."