"In defense of bibilical marriage" -- have fun

Don't know if this has been posted before or recently.

In Defense of Biblical Marriage

http://www.thecommongood.org/CGN/3_3/biblicalmarriage.html

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: "Pray for the
President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With any forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government." This is true.

Any good religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage entirely on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one
man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines, in
addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron
11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen
24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the
constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be
construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10: 9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the
widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does
not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe, and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut
25:5-10)

G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old),tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)

from protestants for the common good

[IronLionZion]

1. Is that for real?

Is all that really in the bible?

[Reverend_Smitty]

2. The Bible

Im no biblical expert but I do know the bible says a lot of freaky stuff...thats why I tend to dismiss most of it as pure literature

4. I think it is, don't have a bible handy to check

On their web site they say

About Protestants for the Common Good
Protestants for the Common Good (PCG) is an association of Protestant laity and clergy throughout Illinois that calls people of faith to relate their beliefs to public life.

So I imagine they're being accurate about the interpretations.

[LiberalFighter]

8. It is in the bible!! Plus more

[chimpy the poopthrower]

3. Turn off emoticon icons

If you turn off emoticon icons, you won't get the :9 in letter E. (It's there because you used a colon immediately before the numeral 9.)

[mainer]

5. great! Thanks!

[myopic4141]

6. Contract law vs Biblical law

Many of the requirements of Biblical law were overridden via Aramaic Business Law using pre-nuptial contracts around 5th century BCE. Many of these documents (originating in Elephantine, the site of the only other sacrificial temple of the period) still exist today. Business law trumped Biblical law when both parties entered willingly into a contractual agreement.

[OnceBlind]

7. One thing I have heard about the Old Testament

is that those laws were supposed to be followed in those days in order to remain "clean, pure, and blameless" in the eyes of God because no savior had yet been sent. The way I have understood what the "fundies" say is that when Christ came into the picture, Christ's blood made all things clean and the old customs were no longer necessary. I guess that is what it means to have your sins washed in the blood. That's the way I have heard it put, anyway.

[Cell17N]

11. The laws.

The laws of Old Testement are not nearly as hard to follow as atheists would like you to believe. Many liberals are religeous Jews.

[pacifictiger]

9. LOL

thanks for the laugh and pointing out how ridiculous the fundies anti gay marriage argument thing is. They forgot to add the part where violaters will be subject to the death penalty by the stoning method.

[OnceBlind]

10. LOL!

Now I have to laugh, but I have known a few people who claimed to be Christians and I really never heard one call for the death penalty for gays.