DU Political Wits: If you were writing 'Laugh-In' for 2004...

[nostamj]

some of you know I'm producing a 'political cabaret' show (see sig line) and I've been very fortunate to have support and contributions from DU's immense talent pool.

so, if you were writing for 'Laugh-In' (and I know that 'ages' me) what one-liners, ***brief*** dialogs would you write for the 'joke wall' or cocktail party sequences?

(or, for the 60s-challenged, 'bits' for a GOOD SNL "Weekend Update)

I'm only covering national issues in this: War on Terror, WMD, economy, BBV, Bush Lies, gay marriage, etc.

there's no $ in cabaret but I would, of course, give full credit in the 'additional material by'

I'll start you off with one I plan to use:

We were going to do a song about WMDs, but we couldn't fine one. <rimshot!>

[SoCalDem]

1. Here's one...

..."Did you hear that Bush got angry calls from some of his rich friends after his anti gay marriage stance?? ..They were worried about their stock in 'Crate & Barrel"...

[SoCalDem]

2. another one...

" Poor George.. his brother Neil called him and told him to cool it about the marriage & morality stuff...at least until the heat was off about the Asian hookers, the nasty divorce,the herpes thing, and the paternity issue"...

[SoCalDem]

3. rim-shot..another crass one..

Did you hear that Bill Bennett got his own radio show?? His long shot bet paid off ..

[SoCalDem]

4. another

The economic recovery has brought families back together again..they're eating together, watching tv together, riding in the car together again.. .. No one can afford to eat out, go out or have more than one car

[SoCalDem]

5. another

President Bush doesn't lie, he just prevaricasticates a bit..

[SoCalDem]

6. more.. (make me stopppppppppp)

Is George Bush trying out for a Village People Revival Tour?? He sure likes to dress up . He's been a wannabee pilot.. a lumberjack..a ranch hand...a baseball player....

[jazzsammich]

7. even harder when they're LIVIN' in the car. ^_^ (nt)

[nostamj]

9. yeah, like this concept

might do it like this after SoCal's setup: or they're living in their car parked in front of an appliance store

[blondeatlast]

19. Living in the car together, too ... nt

[blondeatlast]

18. HAH! nt

[Kipper58]

8. How about -

Bush has been welcomed everywhere he’s gone on his latest tour: "yes welcomed by 30,000 armed police and a 5 mile exclusion zone".

[nostamj]

10. thanks, and as Donna Summer would say: more, more, more

special thanks to SoCal... will probably grab a couple of those!

[nostamj]

11. kick

i'll be back later in the afternoon...

[soup]

12. Here comes the judge. There goes our votes.

[MetaTrope]

13. An aside on 'Laugh-In'

From producer George Schlatter's liner notes to the past fall's DVD release:

"I continue to have meetings and discussions about 'Laugh-In 2004' and I may do it if I can get the proper assurances that we would be allowed to be as outrageous, irreverent and meaningful as we were 35 years ago. It seems strange that with all of the new permissiveness as to language, subject matter, clothing and the lack thereof, the networks are still very nervous about disturbing the status quo the way we used to at the beginning of our 'Laugh-In' adventure."

Strange perhaps, but surprising?

[Robb]

14. The Bush admin is strong on defense

...Every time I read about them it's "...defends Iraq war", "...defends intelligence agency", "...defends position on gay marriage", "...defends economic policy", etc.

[nostamj]

15. and the kicker is...........

"sounds like SELF-defense to me!"

or

"I don't know if they're strong on defense or just defensive"

thanks! good set-up. this is a keeper.

[nostamj]

16. kick for afternoon WITS | BBV? PNAC?

LIES? Environment? Tax Cuts?

[nostamj]

17. and another...

Outsourcing? Job Loss Recovery?

Laura's Pantsuits? The SOTU Address?

[nostamj]

20. one last and i'll let this die with dignity....

(this is still VERY rough)