What one needs to believe in order to vote Bush in 2004.

[The Night Owl]

Help me add to this list I am working on...

To vote for George W. Bush in 2004, you have to believe the following...

1. You have to believe that an inarticulate alcoholic with a penchant for lying can bring peace and democracy not just to Iraq, but to the entire Middle East.

2. You have to believe that George W. Bush, a man who admits he does not read newspapers, any newspapers, makes a good leader.

3. You have to believe that U.S. soldiers dying at a rate of two per day is a sign of progress in Iraq.

4. You have to believe that George W. Bush wanted to serve in the Vietnam war, a war he says he supported, but was denied the opportunity to serve in that war because of circumstances beyond his control.

5. You have to believe that Stepford Wives make great First Ladies.

6. You have to believe that lying about sex is grounds for impeachment and removal from office, but lying about national security matters is acceptable.

7. You have to believe that the Saudi royals are our friends.

8. You have to believe that ushering the Bin Laden family out of the United States before they could be questioned about the attacks of 9/11 was a good idea.

9. You have to believe that the proper response to the 9/11 attacks is to attack a nation that had nothing to do with the attacks of 9/11.

10. You have to believe that steroid use is such an urgent problem that it requires mention in The State Of The Union speech.

11. You have to believe that George W. Bush, a president who spends entire weekends with Saudi royals, cannot spare more than one hour to talk with the commission investigating the attacks of 9/11.

12. You have to believe that George W. Bush, a president who appointed John Poindexter, a convicted criminal, to one of the most sensitive national security positions in government, exhibits good judgement.

13. You have to believe that George W. Bush, a president who appointed Henry Kissinger to investigate the attacks of 9/11, exhibits good judgement.

14. You have to believe that taxing the rich to the point where they are less rich is evil and mean. You also have to believe that tax cuts are the solution to every problem in the world.

15. You have to believe that in the effort to bring peace and democracy in Iraq, no cost, in blood or treasure, is too great.

16. You have to believe that Saddam Hussein, a man who did not even control much of his own country, was the greatest threat to peace in recent times.

[rfranklin]

1. George Dubya Bush is a humble, god-fearing hero...

who showed those towelheads they can't mess with Murika, and that's all I need to know, so shut up you damn French libruls! And you Spaniard pussies too!

[Art_from_Ark]

2. And the sad part is,

there really are people who believe every bit of that rubbish.
:argh:

[jorno67]

3. here's some more

17. NASCAR is the greatest sport ever!

18. Mein Kampf was a comedy.

19. It's okay to cut veteran's benefits during a manufactured war.

20. The American worker doesn't deserve overtime pay.

21. The second amendment is twice as important as the first.

22. It's fun to play dress up.

23. Karl Rove is a saint and Howard Stern is the devil.

24. Mexicans make good maids and gardeners.

25. Everything bad that happened in the last 3 years is Bill Clinton's fault, everything good is because of Bush's leadership.

[BillZBubb]

4. Welcome to DU jorno67! Good points, but

25. Everything bad that happened in the last 3 years is Bill Clinton's fault, everything good is because of Bush's leadership.

requires the impossible belief that something good has happened. That's too much to ask of anyone.

[jorno67]

6. Thank you!

You're right. I was trying to think of something good that happened, but I can't. Oh wait! Rush got caught!

[woodstockjimi]

9. HEY

:smoke:

[nwstrn]

5. 26. It's patriotic to

fulfill military requirements by having your teeth checked.

27. It's patriotic to avoid your military obligations, if the military does not allow you access to your personal physician.

28. DWIs show strong character.

29. A true leader responds to reports of American casualties by urging those responsible to "bring it on."

[strategery blunder]

7. You have to believe that record deficits can be addressed

by understating the costs of government activities (Mediscare, war, etc.) and cutting revenue.

[Sparkly]

8. Hmm...

You have to believe that forests are saved by cutting down their trees.

You have to believe that industry will cut profits to curtail pollution, voluntarily.

You have to believe that it isn't important for a president to read his own national security briefs.

You have to believe it's okay to have a president who thinks national security briefs are underwear.

You have to believe "not intellectually curious" is NOT a euphemism for "stupid."

You have to believe any consideration of race in acceptance to a university is wrong, but consideration of your Daddy's 'legacy,' power, and money is a fine way to create a diverse student body.

[greenbriar]

10. hehe

those are good. I like the dress up one.

you know
the German Leader during WWI had over 200 uniforms to "play" soldier in.

He was crippled in the shoulder/arm.

whats bush's excuse?

crippled in the brain

[Arkana]

11. hehe

You forgot:

17. You have to believe that a man who can render himself unconscious with a pretzel is possessed of enough brain power to be the leader of the Free World.