RapidCreek's Brilliant Post re: LIHOP

[UTUSN]

*******QUOTE*******

Bush didn't need to order anyone to do anything. Quite the contrary...he needed to do exactly what he did. NOTHING.

Here is an easily digestible example for you.

Let's say I would like to do a little remodeling free of charge...maybe put a little money in my buddys' pockets as well. How might I achieve such a thing by LIHOP? Let's assume that my insurance agent calls me up one day and tells me to be on the look out for squirrels on my roof....He explains they have been chewing holes through roofs in my neighborhood and as such it would be wise get rid of any trees from which they might jump onto mine. I do nothing.

Let's say a week later the guy next door tells me he's noticed a squirrel hard at work day after day, doing something on my roof. I thank him for the info, with a wink and a nod, but do nothing.

I hear the squirrel while he's up there and it sounds like he's chewing a hole through wood. I do nothing.

Shortly thereafter, I hear what sounds like a bunch of squirrels running around in my attic. I do nothing.

The guy next door calls and tells me he's noticed what appears to be a gang of squirrels crawling into and out of a hole on my roof. I do nothing.

Later that day I hear what sounds like squirrels chewing through drywall. I do nothing.

The following day my kid tells me he can see daylight through what appears to be a hole in the living room ceiling. I do nothing.

That night the football game is interrupted by a National Weather Service severe thunderstorm warning. I do nothing.

Ten minutes later it starts to pour. I do nothing.

Three hours later water starts to drip through the hole in my living room ceiling. I do nothing.

I get up and go down to the bar to watch the rest of the game. After the game is over I go back home. On my way through the living room, I notice water pouring through a hole in the ceiling into the three inches now collected the floor. I say to myself...wow the guys who put the roof on this place were some bad roofers...then I go to bed and read my brand new copy of the Hungry Caterpillar.

The next morning I get up and walk into the living room. My furniture, carpet, ceiling and walls are destroyed. I call the insurance agent up and explain my problem to him. He asks why I didn't cut the trees away from my roof like he suggested. I tell him his suggestion wasn't actionable. He says back to me that he gave me forewarning that squirrels had been chewing holes through roofs in the neighborhood. I tell him "well, that's just historical information".

I end up getting a new roof, new living room walls, new carpet and new furniture while enjoying the sympathy of the the folks on my street. I purchase the new furniture from my brother in law and I pay my best friend to do my dry wall. I have the guy next door do my carpeting.

I suggest to all my neighbors that we get together and take care of the squirrel problem by kicking the shit out of the little old lady across the road whom I suspect might be feeding them. I've never liked her anyway. She's sort of a mean old biddy anyway. She picks on the local kids when they play in her yard and yells at me in some wierd language when I park my car in front of her house. They view such an approach sceptically and suggest it might be prudent to cut the trees down which hang over my roof before pursuing such a course of action. I tell them I don't give a shit what they think and order my kid to go kick the little old ladies ass. He does but not before her sons give him a concussion.

Everyone in the neighborhood now believes my family and I are assholes. I don't particularly care however and I make it perfectly clear that old ladies, who I believe are feeding squirrels or who I believe might be thinking about feeding squirrels, better be prepared for an ass kicking. I've got to protect my interests, after all, now and in the future....and my brothers in law and my best friends and my buddy who lives next door.

********UNQUOTE*******

[UTUSN]

1. From this LBN Thread

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x476860

[SpiralHawk]

2. Nuts

BushCo is nuts if they expect the American peope to accept their lame excuses.

They need to step up and take some responsibility. A

[Beam Me Up]

3. Really great post. . .the only thing I'd ad is. . .

about the "little old lady across the road" who may be "feeding the squirrels" You might want to include somehow that I put that little old lady in the house across the road in part because she was a mean 'you know what'. But MORE IMPORTANTLY I was the one who helped another neighbor further down the block clandestinely BREED THE SQUIRRELS in the first place. It's a long, complicated tale but the point is, these rodents didn't just appear in the neighborhood out of nowhere! They've been useful for all kinds of purposes.

edit: typo