Too many"Your penis will be larger by the siege of Fallajah" e-mails

[underpants]

Killing people doesn't have my penis larger

My fellow citizens dying doesn't make my penis larger

I am coming to the conclusion that nothing will make my penis larger

Statues falling don't make my penis larger

My wife tells me that she doesn't want my penis larger

George Bush in a flightsuit does not make my penis larger

There surely are a list of things that don't make penis larger.

Would you like to share things that don't make my penis larger?

[VolcanoJen]

1. Hunting, fishing, and clearing cedar does not make your penis larger.

:D

[newsguyatl]

2. i dunno

stretching seems to do the trick.

[EstimatedProphet]

3. There's lots of things that don't make my penis larger

Some of them are female, like Ann Coulter. She makes my penis shrivel.
My SO can make my penis larger though. she's quite good at it. So it's not a matter of sexual preference. I think it's a matter of species presence instead. AC's way down the evolutionary scale.
Oh, and I have guns too, but they don't make my penis larger. Neither does my truck.

[underpants]

4. Damn guns don't make your penis larger either?

Criminy what else is there to make my penis larger?

:shrug::shrug::shrug::think::shrug::shrug::shrug:

[EstimatedProphet]

8. Tried Enzyte?

Or Viagra?
Or...a partner...
Just kidding of course :)

[DrWeird]

5. There's been a lot of insecurity since the WTC fell.

It was the American way of saying, "not only is ours larger than yours, we've got two of them."

[Mari333]

10. For the last 20 years I have been studying the politics of the penis

actually, the politics of the domination gods, those westernized versions of the domination pundits who think with their dicks. Having studied the archeo anthropological systems of tribes and humans as they journied thru human history, its amazing to go from India, where the vagina was worshipped as a symbol of life giving, all the way to Priapus, the god of the large dick, who seems to still be in charge of things now, symbollically.
Humans are stupid, they create symbols based on their genitals. No one in their right mind cant see the Washinton Monument and missiles as anything but extended versions of men who have limp penises and are in power.
Oddly enough, I had a vision of enlightenment when I went to Glastonbury, and saw the old cathedrals there, once mighty, once owned and operated by the most outrageous bastards and tyrants in the church, now , shambles, rubble, falling apart in ruins. I looked at the grasses growing over the rubbled ruins, the birds building their nests in the shattered remains of once a mighty empire..and I realized..
all the tyrants and assholes fall, the grasses grow over them, their power is meaningless, they are dust in the wind.
In time, the monuments we have made to the powerful now, will be gone, the Washinton Monument, the missiles, the jerks who run the missiles, will be dead, gone, buried , and meaningless.
Eventually, they will all go. In 4 billion years the earth will implode as the sun turns into a supernova.
Then, all the human species, for all their rantings and ravings, wont mean shit.
Nature is a good teacher.

6. NOT To BRAG, Mind You, but.....

I don't WANT my boy larger!
Such a thing as TOO much!
Problems already I have in the clutch.

Now I don't mean to brag,
Or speak out too light,
but for ME, it does seem, that they're ALL rather tight!

But a longish salami
Does contain charm...
In the winter it does tend to keep my knees warm!

Schwannzeichen

[underpants]

7. Welcome to DU

:hi:

[Mari333]

9. My puppy can lick his own balls.

Just wanted to make you all really really jealous.
edit to add: men who send those emails dont have working penises. They are angry , bitter, shrivelled people who are so filled with self hatred there isnt any room for anything else. and they project their self loathing onto everyone.