"We Need a Puppet Government, Just Like Ann Coulter Says" - mp3/quasi-song

[thebigidea]

http://www.terminalproduct.com/puppetcoulter.mp3

late last night I stumbled on that hideous amphetamine banshee squawking about killing people or somesuch, looking like a terminal basket case just barely holding it together as Buchanan made grunting noises.

So I thought some whiny out of tune yelling and sub-Velvet guitar twanging was in order. err, "enjoy."



previously:

http://www.terminalproduct.com/radio.htm

[thebigidea]

1. on second thought, did the world really need noise with scaife references?

[blm]

2. heheh...Scaife used to brag about bagging Coulter and Laura Ingraham.

When he'd get drunk he bragged alot. He may THINK he had sex with them, but I doubt anyone who drinks that much could be 'effective', eh?

[thebigidea]

3. GAG. Bragging? He should be ASHAMED.

Coulter. Ewww. Shudder.

[blm]

6. Ever see Scaife?

Jabba the Hut would have to pay less for hookers.

[thebigidea]

8. !

eek! there's a mug ripe for my slice and dice treatment...

[thebigidea]

4. are you resisting the advance of freedom?

well, stop doing that, ok?

[thebigidea]

5. contains absolutely no Adam's Apple references. honest.

[blm]

7. I think it's BRILLIANT.

You got ear.

[thebigidea]

9. I got fear!

its a shame I get these ideas far too late at night/early in the morning for friends with actual guitar skills to help...

[thebigidea]

10. ... transcript from the Nixon Library

(as redacted by MiniTru)

"We Need a Puppet Government, Just Like Ann Coulter Says"
by the farmingdale sound machine (april 2004)

COULTER: "We need a puppet government."

BUSH: "I don't think we need to be subliminimable."

COULTER: "We need a puppet government."

BUSH: "I don't think we need to be subliminimable."

COULTER: "We need uhm a puppet government."

BUSH: "I don't think we need to be subliminimable."

COULTER: "We need uhm a puppet government. Even the brown people of the world can pull off democracy, and I believe that too. We need uhm a puppet government."

BUSH: "They hate freedom."

oh annie
looks to me like you chewin adderall
you sweat and twitch, much more
than just a handful of some tylenol

sweeping statements
in no time at all

gonna be fun
to watch you fall

you'll come down
in no time at all
no more laughing
no neocon ball

15 minutes
over just 4 years
won't come back
so save your tears

COULTER: "Uhm I think the point is that its going to be hard, its going to take a long time - uhm but its something that absolutely has to be done."

PERKOWSKI: "As long as you don't have to go, huh, Ann?"

BUCHANAN: "Why?"

COULTER: "We need an Arab Israel over there... we can't keep pimping for Israel - we need uhm a puppet government."

PERKOWSKI: "After all, the Bush/Cheney model worked so well!"

COULTER: "We need uhm a puppet government."

wanna talk treason?
well, just look at you
shred the Constitution
Federalist shrew

some attorney
on a Scaifey journey

COULTER: "We need to be on the ground, we need a friendly government... uhm we need Democracy - and I think George Bush put it far more eloquently..."

BUSH: "They hate freedom!"

COULTER: "That I am, for being so direct about it."

BUSH: "They hate freedom!"

COULTER: "...and I think George Bush put it far more eloquently... uhm by saying that, that - even - even the brown people of the world can pull off democracy... and I think they can too - we need uhm a puppet government."

from elf to witch
from snitch
to bitch

I know its offensive
but I can't think
of another rhyme
its amateurish
but I haven't
got the time time

(cue "Sister Ray")

and me I'm searching for my mainline
me, I'm searching for my mainline
its just like Ann Coulter says
its just like Ann Coulter says...

COULTER: "Even the brown people of the world can pull off democracy."

threatens newspapers with boozy breath
looks well-aquainted with uncut meth.

COULTER: "Even the brown people of the world can pull off democracy... and I think they can too. We need uhm a puppet government. we're going to be killing a lot of terrorists um to make to make this democracy possible - but we're gonna have to do that - and now we're flushing them out of the woodwork, so we know where they are so we can kill them."

now who's that knocking?
knock knock knocking at my chamber door?
now could it be the police?
or Tom Ridge to take me for a ride ride?

COULTER: "We need um a puppet government... We need um a puppet government... We need um a puppet government..."

you'll come down
in no time at all
enjoy the spotlight
while you can
just another
also ran

PERKOWSKI: "Bye, Annie..."

BUSH: "I don't think we need to be subliminimable."

[thebigidea]

14. hmmm, I should've cut some of the strained song and added more Ann

there's so much lunacy she's spouted to choose from...

[Minstrel Boy]

11. Is Coulter some kind of performance artist?

I don't know how else to understand her. One day she's going to cover herself in chocolate and alcohol and set herself on fire, and I won't blink an eye.

Thanks for the song. Just as disturbing as I'd hoped.

[thebigidea]

12. I'll go with Garofalo's Coulter-is-AndyKaufman-as-Tony-Clifton Theory

its the most convincing argument I've seen so far.



(FOOTNOTE: Gawd, I'll use any excuse to sneak in a poor Velvet Underground cover. My apologies to all.)

[thebigidea]

13. oo, practically an EP's worth of CRAP in the past week or so

http://www.terminalproduct.com/balladofcondi.mp3
http://www.terminalproduct.com/georgie.mp3
http://www.terminalproduct.com/mrpragmatic.mp3

hmm, it all sounds like the same song... monophonic, monotone, mumblephonic!