Major LOL Clarkes new movie -Freeper gets it right

[corporatewhore]

ok so i admit i go to townhall.com when i need a good chuckle i found this lovely gem from a chickenshit chickenhawk, ben shapiro. I think he is trying to mock clarke and his book and movie deal but he nails it perfectly
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This week, Sony Pictures Entertainment optioned the rights to Richard Clarke's "Against All Enemies." The film version of the book is to be produced by John Calley, the former chairman of the entertainment group.

Casting shouldn't be difficult. Rumor has it that Robert Redford will play Richard Clarke, the crusading terrorism chief. No doubt President George W. Bush will be played by Will Ferrell, fresh off his tour-de-force performance in "Elf." Marlon Brando will be rolled onto the set to play Vice President Richard Cheney. Inside sources say Condoleezza Rice will be played by Janet Jackson; some say she won the part with her Rice imitation on "Saturday Night Live."

The movie will be just as unbiased as the book. Perhaps even more so. In fact, an anonymous source has slipped me an early copy of the script. Here are some choice excerpts:

FADE IN

EXT. CAPITOL BUILDING -- DAY
It's Jan. 20, 2001, Inauguration Day for George W. Bush. Outgoing President Bill Clinton stands outside the Capitol Building speaking with Clarke.

CLARKE

Well, Mr. President, it's been a long haul, and a good one. Thanks for your courage and bravery fighting Osama Bin Laden and his evil band.

CLINTON

No, all the praise should go to you, ol' buddy. If we hadn't gotten sidetracked by that silly sex scandal, I would have taken out Al Qaeda. I was just buildin' up to it. They didn't give me enough time.

CLARKE

I know, Mr. President. It was just about sex. And those close-minded prudes ...

FLASH to grainy photo of Kenneth Starr and then back to Clarke.

CLARKE (tears rolling down his face)

... just didn't let you do the job for which you were elected. Well, so long, Mr. President.

(They embrace.)

I'll never forget what you've done for our country.

FADE TO:

WHITE HOUSE CORRIDOR -- DAY

Richard Clarke and Condoleezza Rice are walking to a meeting with President Bush.

CLARKE (vehemently)

Condi, this is stuff you need to pay attention to. Look, Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda are setting up sleeper cells in this country.

RICE (with a puzzled expression)

Who?

CLARKE (exasperated, disbelievingly)

You know, Al Qaeda? They attacked us in 1993? They bombed the USS Cole?

RICE (still looking puzzled)

Oh, you mean Saddam? Iraq?

CLARKE

No! Osama Bin Laden. Clinton knew who he was! You should, too! Time is running out! Who knows, they might even hijack airplanes and hit the World Trade Centers and Pentagon, say around the second week in September!

RICE (laughing)

Sure, and Enron will collapse, too.

CUT TO:

CLARKE'S OFFICE -- DAY

Clarke is at his desk. He's leafing through a stack of papers, when one catches his eye. The title of the memo is "Bin Laden Determined to Strike U.S." Clarke leaps to his feet, then runs out of his office.

CUT TO:

OVAL OFFICE -- DAY

Clarke runs into the Oval Office, breathless. President Bush sits at his desk, playing Mario Bros. on his Game Boy.

CLARKE (breathlessly)

Mr. President, my suspicions have been confirmed. I've warned you -- WARNED YOU! -- that Osama was planning something big.

BUSH (puzzled)

Who?

CLARKE (exasperated)

Bin Laden! How many times do I have to tell you people?!

BUSH (laughs)

Osama is a funny word. Osama, Kerbama, Romama, Yurmama, Cherbama, Blamgama, Pajama ...

Clarke storms out as Bush continues to babble mindlessly.

FADE TO:

Video of Sept. 11 World Trade Center attacks.

V.O. of news anchors reporting the attacks.

CUT TO:

INT. CABINET ROOM

BUSH (to Clarke)

This was Saddam.

CLARKE

Mr. President, there's no evidence of that. This looks like the work of Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden.

BUSH

Don't lie to me, Richie. You're either with us, or against us. This was done by Saddam. He tried to kill my daddy, and I'm gonna make that sucker pay.

CLARKE

Mr. President, there's no evidence that Saddam had anything to do with this! I've been warning you about Osama for months!

BUSH (begins to suck his thumb, petulantly)

Well, fine, if you say so. But try to find out how Saddam's involved. Do I at least get to bomb somebody? Somebody Muslim? I hate those ragheads. They don't believe in my favorite philosopher, Jesus.

(proudly)

That's what Pat and Jerry told me.

Vice President Cheney enters the room.

CHENEY (soothingly)

I'll take it from here, George. You go back to playing with your blocks. And, yes, we get to bomb somebody.

Cheney puts his arm around Bush and smiles evilly.

FADE OUT

[Blue-Jay]

1. Heh heh!

As the wise philosopher Homer Simpson once said, "It's funny because it's true."

[Kahuna]

2. Very very funny treatment. I LIKE IT!

:7 I hope Sony uses it. }(

[Misunderestimator]

3. Since when did freepers start working for our side?

This could have been written by the leftest of the left. No way could anyone see this as a pro-Bush article. Or am I missing something? Do we have a sheep in wolf's clothing? :)

[corporatewhore]

4. no this chicken hawk was mocking clarkes book

see his profile
Benjamin Shapiro was born in 1984 in Burbank, Calif. Brought up in the home of two Reagan Republicans, where intelligent conversation about politics and philosophy was encouraged, Shapiro quickly developed into a reasoned political thinker and a powerful writer.

He entered UCLA at the age of 16 and is currently a senior majoring in political science. Never afraid to antagonize his political opposition, he was the only counter-protester at an Affirmative Action Rally that drew over 1,500 people on UCLA's campus, and he has repeatedly challenged liberal professors and faculty.

He was hired in the summer of 2001 by the advertising team that had run George W. Bush's presidential campaign, writing copy for its planned ad campaign in support of Israel.

As a staunch conservative on the modern politically correct campus, Shapiro faces the political liberals head-on. From exposing the leftist tilt of the professoriate on college campuses to addressing the conflict in the Middle East, Shapiro's confrontational approach always draws a hailstorm of response.

His columns are printed nationwide in major newspapers and websites, including Townhall.com, the Orlando Sentinel, and the Conservative Chronicle. He is a regular guest on numerous radio shows around the United States and Canada.

He was one of six winners of the worldwide Princeton University Ten-Minute Play Contest for High School Juniors in 1998-99. Shapiro is also a virtuoso violinist, having begun his training at age 5. He has played at numerous political events in his home city of Los Angeles.

[Misunderestimator]

12. deleted

[0007]

5. I love it!

[Kahuna]

6. I've already saved it for the "Kahuna Family Players" next production.

:7

[0007]

11. Now I'll know where to find it, LOL! when my mixed up ill form

filing system fails me.

[VolcanoJen]

7. That's pretty f'in funny.

However, I must be open and say that I think Bob Redford is just a little too old to play Clarke effectively.

Can't you just picture Kevin Spacey in Clarke's role?????

[Kahuna]

8. I think Spacey would make a better Cheney..

:7

[VolcanoJen]

9. Wha???????? Poor Spacey!!!!

He would make a great Cheney, though...

[Kahuna]

10. I think Spacey would get a hoot out of playing cheney.

:7

[corporatewhore]

13. kick