BBV: I have a news story so big...

[Andy_Stephenson]

and I want to tell it so bad...but I can't till tuesday. Argh! So what can I do until then?

Tell jokes? Talk about Iraq...someone gimme a suggestion.

[Cronus Protagonist]

1. Give us some hints without giving it away

Good PR is released in phases, with lots of speculation in advance. Spill something. :)

http://brainbuttons.com/home.asp?stashid=13

[PaDUer]

24. Tuesday is PA's

primary election day..

[IronLionZion]

55. Is BBV helping Toomey or Specter?

:shrug:

[nadinbrzezinski]

2. My, you hate the embargo, don't you?

And that is waht I suspect is going on

Go take a bath, stay away from here, listen to music

RELAX man...

We can wait

[NJCher]

3. can you tell us a story?

Allegorical,perhaps?


Cher

[0rganism]

4. Yes! An Allegory! Bonus points for including a mustard seed

or any kind of 19th-century ship pursuing white whales.

[Andy_Stephenson]

5. Once upon a time there was a company...

This company produced a device that ground mustard seed into the right texture...for it to be made into prepared mustard.

This company sold many of the devices their name became a household word.

Soon the company branched out into other endeavours. Lo and behold,
they found a company that made a device which boned a whole chicken, all one need do was to stuff the chicken bake and slice! "Wow! Amazing" said the directors and bought the company. But soon there was trouble brewing.

There was this pesky farmer...He had invented the device and it had been stolen from him. The former directors of the firm had failed to disclose the legal issues that might arise from the farmer.

Soon the company was embroiled in legal battles over the status of the patents. The company had to do something...But what? No one could com up with an answer...but the had to act soon and quickly.

A junior vice President with eyes on the "Big Guy's Job" had a plan that would gain him stature.

He had just been on a company trip to Aflakolia...a small nation in South America. The demand for deboned chicken is great as we all know. This invention might well be the answer to the nations problems.

But Aflakolia was short on cash and there was a civil war brewing between three factions. The junior Executive needed to find a way to get the chicken boner (no pun :evilgrin:) Into Aflakolia. Well it just so happened he met a man...a minor government official with the right connections, including an uncle that had the largest chunk of the chicken farming business in the country.

Negotians were held between the junior executive and the uncle in which the Junior Executive was given a no bid contract for all the chicken boners (no pun :evilgrin:) in the country.

Now back home...the board had been quietly divulging stock in fear that the company was doomed. But suddenly the farmer died of a heart attack. With no heirs the company now had cornered the market on chicken boners worldwide. Well almost.

Back in Pharump NV...There was a crotchety old man that had discovered that boning chickens (no pun :evilgrin:) was dangerous.

stay tuned for part 2

[Andy_Stephenson]

6. The fella in pharump...

told everyone that would listen that boning chickens was dangerous...No one would listen...FInally the Pharump Pen and Register...did a feature article and all hell broke loose.

The company directors were scrambling to put a positive spin on the situation but it continued to deterioate rapidly. Finally there was big headline news.

Aflakoila...Boning Chickens

Doing it their way...shudder the thought.

and the rest as they say is history.

Andy

[nadinbrzezinski]

8. Creative

the whole thing is falling apart

:-)

Cute and good job, a pat on the back

Now how about them whales, white whales and them windmills

Sancho MY LANCE!

[AP]

44. It is so hard to die without any heirs.

States look so far for relatives so that it would be incredibly hard for someone to die intestate without passing their property rights to someone. And even if they don't have a relative, the rights in the invention would still pass to the state. They wouldn't just disappear.

I don't know what happens if a right in an invention passes to the state however -- it might become public property, but, more likely, some state official would become the trustee of the right and they would then be able to enforce the rights for the benefit of a trust -- but I'm really just guessing here. If the inventor died in my state, I'd definitely want to look into the possiblity that the state coffers could be filled a little bit by collecting patent royalties for this inventor who died with no relatives.

If a company is using an invention knowing that the inventor has died, they're probably still violating somebody's rights in the invention. What they're doing is just using the invention knowing that nobody was close enough to the inventor to know that there's a right to the invention out there that is being violated.

I bet if you tracked down some relatives, and told them to get a lawyer, they might be able to get some money from the invention. Of course, they'd probably be happy to settle with the company -- which means the invention would continue to be used. But, what it would mean in the short and long term for the company is that they'd have to share their profits with the relatives of the inventor.

[tkmorris]

7. I used to know a girl like you......

She was SOOO frustrating... :evilgrin:

[BevHarris]

9. If its rg just sit tight and a hint now and then is okay but

if its ia don't hint at all because on that one the damage control guys will start working overtime the second they see what direction you've gone in. If that one comes through I'll help you take it to the TV networks. And if its t.r.e.e. same as rg.

As I said, folks, Andy Stephenson is a kick-ass investigator. He has at least three stories percolating.

Bev

[yowzayowzayowza]

10. Weren't you...

whining about being tired justa couple of hours ago?

[tom_paine]

25. Hey! Leave Bev alone!

Unless you were joking, in which case, I retract.

[yowzayowzayowza]

52. Naw,

jus given her a hard time...

[ParanoidPat]

38. t.r.e.e. AHH HA! I've got it!

Paper ballots are made from t.r.e.e.'s.
Their next line of counter attack will be on environmental grounds! Paper ballots are bad for trees! :crazy: :evilgrin:

[sandnsea]

75. I swear to god

I already heard that one!

[anarchy1999]

11. Do just what you have done.

TEMPT US AND KEEP US ALL ON THE EDGE................

What else can you do? .........

[unblock]

12. embargo?

i'm no authority on the subtleties of journalistic propriety, (hey, that's kinda poetic!) but how can there be an "embargo" on insider information regarding a public company? who can legally impose such an embargo?

i thought embargos were usually imposed in conjunction with "good" or "neutral" news as a courtesy to a source.


hmm, well, i suppose if the source were an employee of the evil company, an embargo could be imposed to let the source pack his things and get to safety before the sh*t hits the press....

[cmd]

15. Perhaps someone cooked the books along with the chicken?

hmmmmmmm

[greatauntoftriplets]

13. Sssssssshhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

:eyes:

[xchrom]

14. you just fucked up my whole weekend!

i won't sleep, probably will be distracted at the gym, etc.
i'm soooo excited -- i can't wait -- this is almost as good as santa!
almost.

[Renew Deal]

16. It's nothing.

Something to do with Chicken boners

[rman]

17. or you could tease us,

which you just did. :)

[PCIntern]

18. I;m very upset...

because I know I should 'get' this and I'm not and I'm depressed that I've become so shallow and vapid that I can't put two and two together anymore and follow the allegory, which was extremely well-written and conceived.

What a moron I am...I'm working and worrying too much.

[Andy_Stephenson]

19. Sorry guys but the art of misdirection

is fun...But at least you learned about chicken boners. :evilgrin:

[bowens43]

37. Am I weird?

I find the term 'chicken boners' to be hysterical. Every time I see it, I cackle and all of my co-workers turn and stare at me.....

Stop saying it!!

[Misunderestimator]

20. There are some very good clues in there

Read it again... big hint at the end. (Or maybe I'm the doofus) :)

[Freddie Stubbs]

21. Laura Ruderman dropping her bid for SOS?

:shrug:

[tom_paine]

22. How about a limerick?

There once was a man named Andy
He was very gay and also randy
but when they tried to steal our votes
Andy cried, "Man the Attack Boats!"
Now we all toast him with brandy!

Hang on, pal.

Patience!

:toast: :toast:

You & Bev are aces in my book!

[harmonyguy]

23. GBC's Riddle Solved !!!

Now, I've been told by some pretty darned reliable sources that as a researcher, my skills are slightly above the 'sucking-sloughwater' level, so I've tried to corroborrate your story through detailed multi-point research, and believe that I have solved the riddle.

Here are the facts we've been able to establish, which lead to our conclusion:

The most well known inventor of a device for the grinding of mustard seed, was a decorated military man from a foreign country. It's unclear whether or not he was from Aflakolia.

As a nation, Aflakolia is so small it's not mentioned in the most recent map of South America, however since the map changes every other day, no conclusions can be drawn about the regional demand for deboned chicken.

Aflak, on the other hand, is the repetitive and annoying noise made by a duck on television. As a matter of note, a goose is somewhat related to a duck - this will become more important later.

A search of current patents reveals that there are only 25 patents that reference deboner AND chicken, however there ARE 5 which include the terms BONER and chicken. Given the specificity of your report, we conclude that your use of the term deboner must be colloquialism for the boner, hence we focussed on the search for 'boner' and chicken. (This is the equivalent of 'De left hand knowing what de right hand is doing.)

Most of those five patents seem to have something to do with preventing portions of sea-cucumber from getting together on a pathway and saying nice things about each other. Some even explain a process for getting sea-cucumbers to give to the right answers on a math-division test, although who would want them to is not explained.
(Wanna bet? Go look it up and you figure it out!)

In your earlier message, there was mention of an embargo - which comes from the same root-word as barge which is a sea going vessel. Aha!! - A connection. Sea cucumbers and sea-going vessels. Now we're getting somewhere!! You see?
You also mentioned something about people dumping chicken-stock, and someone having a heart attack. Oh, of course - it all fits in to place now.

The solution to this riddle, my dear Watson, is quite simple.

We believe that there was a culinary event taking place, at which various fowl would be served. The goose had concluded its time in the oven,(ie:was cooked) and when served along with the Aflack duck and the boney chicken, became too much of a cholesterol load for the victim, especially when it was garnished with a portion of sea cucumber.

Therefore, I accuse Colonel Mustard, with the cucumber, in the dining-room.

Colonel Mustard? Je m'accuse!

May I have the envelope please?
For those unfamiliar with the board-game Clue....
...... you'd have to have been there.


(with apologies to all - and for those that, no doubt, will inquire - I DO have no life)
HG

[RedEagle]

30. The best poker players.....

....can't be "read" at all.

Play no cards face up until the time is right.

Patience wins many battles.

Besides, it really gets people's goat when they can't rattle you or make you divulge prematurely. Play YOUR game, not theirs.

Bolts of lightening out of the blue are more effective than little, dribbling discharges of static.

Can it until you can unleash the bolt.


(HG, you sure you shouldn't be in some line of writing endeavor? That was a great story!)

[harmonyguy]

39. Sage advice, indeed!

...which would go nicely as a stuffing with the fowl we were just talking about. (all together now - groan)

Glad you liked the story. One of my business cards actually does have the word writer on it.

This style of writing is my pun-ishment, for previous linguistic misdemeanors.

HG

[Andy_Stephenson]

46. Sources...Links...

where did you get the restof the story from???

spill your guts...

[harmonyguy]

53. If you insist.....

http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO2&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2Fsearch-bool.html&r=0&f=S&l=50&TERM1=boner&FIELD1=&co1=AND&TERM2=chicken&FIELD2=&d=ptxt

PAT. NO. Title
1 6,428,817 Companion animal therapeutic treat
2 5,989,592 Inhibition of complement pathway by sea cucumber fractions
3 5,985,330 Inhibition of angiogenesis by sea cucumber fractions
4 5,876,762 Process for obtaining medically active fractions from sea cucumbers
5 5,770,205 Tissue fractions of sea cucumber for the treatment of inflammation






Oh, and I tossed in a healthy dose of my fertile imagination.
Please consider my guts spilled. (Dang, sonething else to clean up!)

HG

[ParanoidPat]

26. STOP teasing me!.....

.....or I'll never get these pages done! :crazy: :evilgrin:

And NO HINTS, you never know who's reading this! :)

(Hi guys! :hi: )

[Joanne98]

27. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG

I hate it when you guys do that. Now I'm not going to be able to sleep till Tuesday. Damn you.:)

[Cleita]

28. I'll bet Diebold is going down. Am I close?

Lots of stuff in the local news here about some counties here in California. These counties have already said that the Diebold machines won't be allowed to be used in the coming November election. Could it become nationwide? :bounce: I hope so.

[calimary]

29. Just for us who MAY be somewhat thick-headed

(speaking strictly for MYSELF here) - I'm assuming this is GOOD news?

[Joanne98]

31. Is Hugo Chavez the President of Aflakolia?

Or is that Guatamala? I love ole Hugo. He's such a pain in the ass to Bushco. :)

[Az]

32. Dance in code

The more observant amongst us will be able to get your message. :evilgrin:

[Skittles]

33. I should come over and kick your ass

tell us more! :7

[PCIntern]

34. I GOT IT!

Funny...I was using an 'anagram solver', which was doing me litle good and I had the Aha! experience.

Brilliant!

I'm still a moron, however...

[VelmaD]

35. Well...you could CALL ME...

RIGHT NOW! :)

[Andy_Stephenson]

42. I could...but I left my phone

in the office last night.

[Az]

45. Do you have AIM?

Az2k02 IM me. Inquiring minds want to know.

[Andy_Stephenson]

47. No AIM

do you yahoo? coppertop98125

[Az]

50. Yahooing you and

getting nothing. You tease. :P

[VelmaD]

48. *snort*

Ok. That is SO you. You are just too f'in cute for words. :loveya:

[greatauntoftriplets]

51. OMFG!!!!

Don't you feel cut off from the world?

[blm]

36. YOU GAWDDAM &%$$#^&*......

Now it will drive us all crazy for the next few days.

As if we needed it...... heh.

So happy you're in our corner, Gbnc.

[Joanne98]

40. And he's not even going to come back. That's sadistic.

[Andy_Stephenson]

43. In a round ring...

there are no corners blm...I do what I do for everyone...but stay tuned, Tuesday begins a big news cycle.

[sadiesworld]

41. You don't want to hear my suggestion.

Bad poster. :spank:

[edison1958]

49. I bet it involves a chicken boner though....

I just LOVE that phrase.......

[Catherine Vincent]

54. Spill it!

[RedEagle]

56. Keep'em on Their Toes Until The Time is Right

I just love the idea of expending time, people, and money trying to cover ALL the bases they can think up they messed up on.

Kick!

[Jackpine Radical]

57. About that chicken boner...Keep a stiff

uh...upper beak.

[RedEagle]

58. Kick!

[ramblin_dave]

59. Is it Tuesday yet?

Just checking.

[Andy_Stephenson]

60. Almost.

But not quite Yet.

[blm]

61. Heh...you must have majored in Foreplay.

;)))))))))))))))

[Zan_of_Texas]

62. Okay it's Tuesday.

At least in Central Time zone!

[Andy_Stephenson]

63. Not on the west coast

it isn't...And BLM yes I did! :)

[LearnedHand]

64. Well. dammit, then kick this SOB...

...right into Tuesday! :argh:

[barbaraann]

65. It's Tuesday here!

Washington State...

[AZCat]

66. Yep! Reminds me of Christmas Morning...

Me, my brother and my sister up at midnight, playing games until 6:00 AM (the official wake-up time).

Anybody for a game of Sorry?

[barbaraann]

70. I used to love playing Sorry...

but now I want the story! :-)

[AZCat]

73. Ahhh, but see GBnC's posts below...

We still have time to kill.

I get the green piece... :)

[uhhuh]

67. Okay, Okay!

It's Tuesday, Pacific!!!! Spill it!!!

[Andy_Stephenson]

68. Yall are just gonna have to wait till

the press release goes out.

:eyes:

Love Ya mean it!

[uhhuh]

69. When's that?

Soon? I hope I hope I hope?

[Andy_Stephenson]

72. about 1 PM Pacific Time.

and I will post the press release here on DU for all to see. It is actually a 2 parter.

[Bushfire]

77. Could it have to do with the Time Magazine article

dated May 04th, 2004?

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1101040503-629410,00.html

[Serenity-NOW]

71. Oh sure I see how you are... and I stayed up late 4U! :)

[samsingh]

74. i hope this was worth the wait.

[harmonyguy]

76. C'mon Now - it's Tuesday everywhere.....

I spilled my guts on Aflak-olia, the Chicken-Boner patents and Colonel Mustard, (and even provided the requested links & sources). It's Tuesday everywhere now. Surely, this thing has been simmering long enough -it's time to get in the kitchen, turn up the heat and check the chicken-stock.

Now, we all know that a good chef cannot be rushed, but......
Maybe you can toss us a bone to chew on?
Or would that become a bone of contention?
We'll all need to bone-up on our sleuthing.

Even better, can you just get to the meat of the issue?
Or once released would you have to ah..., duck?

If you wait too long, we'll have to make sure that you get your just desserts.

Everyone looks forward to the saucy details...

HG
(dang - I'm gettin' hungry. I better quit before I get pun-ished)

[GregD]

78. Here's something to look at while we wait for the news

Here are some photos from the California VSPP meeting last week

http://www.gbdg.net/Apr2004VSPP/

[RedEagle]

79. Thanks for the photos Greg

Now, if we could just have every meeting, even at the county level, on voting machines, with this kind of turnout...

For those who don't know, Freddie Oakley rocks!

Get Bonsall out of DC and Oakley in!

(OK, haven't asked Freddie if she wants the job, but she'd be my choice! And why isn't this woman on the EAC?)

[hunter]

80. Awesome Photos!

It wasn't that long ago that the security guys at the door would say "Meeting? What public meeting? It's not on my calander..." And when you did get inside the place would be almost empty.

Wow...

[Catherine Vincent]

81. we're waiting....

[Cocoa]

82. I know what it is

Al Gore is endorsing John Kerry today.

[Skittles]

84. what would be big about that?

?

[hunter]

86. Did you look at GregD's pictures?

:hi:

It's nice to see you back kicking the BBV threads.

[Joanne98]

83. Kick

[Joanne98]

85. The BBV threads are dropping too quick lately

kick

[alfredo]

87. I know.

I will have to kick this one.

[Trajan]

88. Well ... Alrighty then ....

Its Tuesday ....

"It's One O'Clock, and time for lunch ...

...... Dum deeDUM dee Dum .... "

"When the sun beats down and I lie on the bench ...

.... I can always hear them talk ... "


Humorous Genesis lyric kick ....

[dr.strangelove]

90. Its 1:00 Pacific time

[Justice]

89. Its Time

[mouse7]

91. yep :-)

[truthspeaker]

92. put up or shut up, ya big tease!

[Th1onein]

94. It's nearly four pm, Central time

Where is the press release? What does it say?

[dr.strangelove]

93. Nothing worse then a DU Tease

God_bush_n_cheney, give us the news.

[dr.strangelove]

95. Sorry, I didn't know about the dental problem

GBNC, feel better soon. We'll wait.
Mike

[Gin]

96. it's 5:00 et...whats the scoop?

gin

[dr.strangelove]

97. GBNC is out for the day

Another thread is discussing the big news story being delayed due to GBNC having a dental problem. Looks like we have to wait until tomorrow.

[ParanoidPat]

98. Check again!

BBV : News Break :evilgrin: :toast: