New DVD player comes with built-in censor

[central scrutinizer]

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2004/04/23/notes042304.DTL&nl=fix

Where's My (Bleeping) Sex?
Who wants a DVD player that automatically deletes all the juicy bits of movies? One
guess
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Friday, April 23, 2004
©2004 SF Gate

URL: sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/g/a/2004/04/23/notes042304.DTL

Because what the world really needs now is more uptight little companies from Utah that will help us all block
out the random messy naked blood n' guts of the world.

Companies that will, without anyone asking them to, protect us from media evildoers and exposed flesh and
scary exploding things and that part in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" wherein the universe is blessed,
for the briefest of moments, with the joy of Kate Winslet's radiant nipples.

This is what is happening. This is the happy godlike agenda of Utah's ClearPlay, a twee and shrill little
corporation that has taken it upon itself to sit around the cube farm all day and watch countless Hollywood
flicks and zap out any and all icky violent suggestive material in, say, "Lost In Translation." For your protection.
How kind.

ClearPlay has, thank the Lord Almighty, developed a method that automatically bleeps out and/or completely
skips over words, scenes and entire sections of Hollywood films it has deemed offensive or inappropriate, and
displays the rest in sanitized, defanged, nipple-free form, so you won't ever find yourself having to explain to
your precious wide-eyed heavily Ritalined 8-year-old just exactly what part of Penelope Cruz Tom Cruise is
sucking in that one part of "Vanilla Sky." I mean, praise Jesus.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

1. Dupe thread

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x46741

[Fenris]

2. '...that part in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"...'

'...wherein the universe is blessed, for the briefest of moments, with the joy of Kate Winslet's radiant nipples.'

That might have been one of the best things I've ever read.