poem about women and growing old - 'When I am old I shall wear purple...

[bobbieinok]

loved this when I first saw it 20+ years ago

now maybe it's my poem???

WARNING
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Jenny Joseph



http://www.geocities.com/Paris/LeftBank/6865/jjoseph.html

[Journeyman]

1. I was in a Mimi's Cafe. . .

a French-themed chain restaurant in California (they may be elsewhere), and there was a table full of older women all dressed in purple with red hats. We couldn't help but watch them throughout dinner and, as they left, I had to ask: What's with the red chapeaus and purple gowns? It seems they are a group of women organized around this poem -- I can't remember their group's name, but they gave me a copy of the poem. They were a delight and seemed to truly be enjoying life.

[candy]

2. The Red Hat Club

It's an actual organization. I have a friend that belongs to it. They have a pretty good time.

[Joanne98]

5. the red hat society

My cousin belongs to that. But she's young so she wears a pink hat.

[Malva Zebrina]

3. I love that poem

remember it was written at a time when old women wore, in polite society, black or navy blue and were relatively neutered, or looked upon as cute old grammas.

Thanks for posting it

[OneBlueSky]

4. "How Do I Know" . . . as sung by Pete Seeger

How do I know my youth is all spent?
My get-up-and-go has got up and went!
But, in spite of it all, I’m able to grin
And think of the places my getup has been!

Old age is golden, so I’ve heard said,
But sometimes I wonder, as I crawl into bed,
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup,
My eyes on the table until I wake up.
As sleep dims my vision, I say to myself:
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?
Though nations are warring, and Congress is vexed,
I’ll still stick around to see what happens next!

How do I know my youth is all spent?
My get-up-and-go has got up and went!
But, in spite of it all, I’m able to grin
And think of the places my getup has been!

When I was young, my slippers were red;
I could kick up my heels right over my head.
When I was older my slippers were blue,
But still I could dance the whole night through.
Now I am older, my slippers are black.
I huff to the store and puff my way back.
But never you laugh; I don’t mind at all:
I’d rather be huffing than not puff at all!

How do I know my youth is all spent?
My get-up-and-go has got up and went!
But, in spite of it all, I’m able to grin
And think of the places my getup has been!

I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Open the paper, and read the Obits.
If I’m not there, I know I’m not dead,
So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed!

How do I know my youth is all spent?
My get-up-and-go has got up and went!
But, in spite of it all, I’m able to grin
And think of the places my getup has been!

[Mari333]

6. Ive always said to everyone

there is this HUGE bunch of baby boomer women getting old now..that includes me..we are a force to be reckoned with..
that showed up today on the streets of DC, over 1 million strong
We are a HUGE part of the population, and we worked our butts off in the 60s and 70s to go forward, not backwards
therefore, we will be a force to be reckoned with when it comes to getting old
very very big force
very big
and ageism will be the next thing we tackle
we wont grow old like some of our mothers did
we will be kicking ass in old age
I kick ass now
I wont let anyone tell me what to do, what to say, or who to be
Its a new world for getting old
we will break ice for the young people as to what getting old is
we will change that, too

[candy]

7. Sorry to disillusion you

I'm a 71 year old woman who was determined not to grow old as my mother did,either.

Guess what,I did grow old,and thoroughly enjoy life just as she did,but I never noticed it.

The Boomers aren't getting old,they are old(at least the early Boomers) and they will change just as we did.

The body will change,in spite of your best efforts to keep it from doing so, and friends will die,in spite of your ridiculous determination to stay "young".

Every generation thought it was a new world for getting old,just as yours does,but you can't push away the years.

Time marches on,period.

[bobbieinok]

8. (politely) I don't think you 2 disagree

Mari intends to continue to fight.

You are enjoying life and realizing the body ages.

But neither of you (me too) will age like women in earlier years - that is, give up in our spirits and minds.

...wear dark colors and be quiet and invisible, etc.

I read a book written in the 20s in which a woman in her 50s!!!!! sits in her rocking chair, wears dark clothes and 'old lady' shoes, and waits to die.

At least for some at that time, women were packed away by society when they were still young (by today's views).

[candy]

9. That 20's lady needed a shrink!

I'm sure they were not all like that in the old days.You might read a couple of more books about the twneties.

I know my mother's generation(born in 1904)wasn't.They did stay home to raise families but all went back to work fulltime by the time they were 40.My mother worked until she was 71 and had some great years.

My generation has spent most of our post retirement years traveling the world and yet,if you listen to some boomers,we are all just sitting around waiting to die.

The boomers just like to think they are different,and that's fine,but they continue to knock all those who came before them.

They will age(if they are lucky),or they will die.Same as it's always been!!!

[bobbieinok]

10. I agree - it was a Grace Livingston Hill - very big on 'real ladies'

[dawn]

11. And your point is...?

We will all age, we will all die. But age is a number...your attitude can make you seem old or young no matter what your chronological age is.

I'm not a boomer, but I think it's cool that they don't want to give in to the stereotypes of aging. I feel sorry for people who feel shameful about getting old.

In some cultures, elders are actually revered. Imagine that.

[candy]

14. My point is this

The attitude in post #6 implies that the boomers are not going to knuckle under to old age and that previous generations did--------that's the point of my responses.It was a condescending post,to my way of thinking.

The boomers are old,or getting old,and nothing will change that.

[Mari333]

15. I know I am getting old

I am 53 and I intend to be old and do it well. I am not trying to stay young.
I lost all my teeth when I was 12.
I have had grey hair since I was 40, all grey.
I was widowed at 36.
I have had many people die , including my husband, and I have held the hands of my friends as they died.
When I speak of being old I speak of being like www.grannyd.com
Shes 94
she fights
shes not afraid to fight
I wont ever stop fighting
I wont ever let the assholes ruin my kids future.
I wont sit around and expect my kids to take care of me.
I wont feel sorry for myself.
I will get old, I have been thru many things already of an older woman.
I will die, hopefully a good death, hopefully a major stroke in the middle of the night like my gramma did.
I also know a lot of women in their 70s who march, fight, and dont let anyone tell them what to do.
I intend to live from now, at 53, to my 90's as best as I can, fighting.
I dont wear makeup, I have better things to do with my time then worrying about getting old. I am getting old, I like it, I dont mind.
I embrace it as a good thing, a natural thing, and I will never allow anyone to treat me as a second class citizen because of it.
I will carry a .45 under my lap robe if I have to use a wheelchair.
No one will ever determine for me what I should or should not be as
an old woman.
I have never allowed society, or anyone to tell me who I am.
I never will.
You dont even know me.
so dont assume.
I am just saying I wont buy into the stereotypes society has for older women. I will still cuss and spit and say what I want.
I will also hire a lawyer if people mess with me. I have a great lawyer.
I still climb trees.
If I cant climb them at 70, then Ill sit in the grass and pretend Im climbing them in my mind.
I am not putting down older women then me, I am saying I wont buy into society's stereotypes of older women.

[Hamlette]

12. I have always hated that poem

the values are all wrong. Who cares what people wear? The poem should be concerned with whether we will be engaged (in life) when we are old, not wearing red hats. Looking forward to satin slippers? To what end. It is so presumptuous to give "permission" to "old" people to do "outlandish" things (like wear summer gloves?????). Makes old ladies seem wacky because they are even thinking about purple dresses and red hats. Who cares? I know, its from a different time, but this poem should be left there.

Yeah, could be a metaphor but I think the one we say around here works better: F*ck wearing purple. When I get old I'm gonna start throwing grenades.

No, freepers, we are NOT going to throw grenades but we are gonna march, and vote, and give all our money to liberals and be in the face of the religious right every day of our lives. But don't push us. We are deeply concerned, involved and energized. Bring it on!)

[Mari333]

17. oh ya throw grenades...thats what Im talking about

baby boomer women..pissed off from the 50s , still pissed off
there are a lot of us

[Raven]

13. I have learned alot watching my mother age.

I am 58, she is 89. About 15 years ago she just gave up. She has no interests, no hobbies and no real friends left. My father adored her and kept her occupied and amused until he died. Then she took to the TV. I visit often and there are long, long silences.

I know that I am growing old and cannot halt the process but I have vowed to stay active, involved, interested and always learning something new. As much as I love my mother, I am determined not to become her. :-)

[Mari333]

16. I have some friends, in their 70s

who are active, fight like crazy, and do what they have to do concerning their own activism. My mom isnt like that, she sounds like your mom.
She wants us all to take care of her. I built her a house, let her live in it rent free. Thats all I can do.
I always was sort of like "her" mother.
I cant be her mother now, I have to take care of myself. I have given her everything I can. I cant do it anymore. she luckily has my sister with her.