Thinker's Anonymous

[elfwitch]

I just got this as an email from my FAVORITE political science professor. He is currently teaching at The University of The West Indies in Mona, Jamaica. (Luckily he got out while the gettin was good!)

Something to Think About

It started out innocently enough.
I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up.
Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon
I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself --
but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more
important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employ-
ment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid
friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.
I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking,
"What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening
I had turned off the TV and asked my girlfriend about the
meaning of life. She spent that night at her own house.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the
boss called me in. He said, "John R., I like you, and it
hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real
problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have
to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after
my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've
been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," She said,
"and I want to break up!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," She said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as
much as college professors, and college professors don't make
any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped
out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some
Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot
and ran up to the big glass doors ... they didn't open. The library
was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was
looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing
at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster
caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard
Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am
today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting.
At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week
it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we
avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job,
and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed .. easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped
thinking. Soon, I will be able to vote Republican.

[bigtree]

1. Great piece!

Thanks.