BREAKING: Padilla admits he caused Enron collapse!

[spotbird]

WASHINGTON - (AP) - Jose Padilla, the US citizen who has been held without charges for two years as an enemy combatant, admitted today that he and his al-Qaida counterparts were singularly responsible for the collapse of Enron. Administration sources, speaking off the record, expressed relief about this development, “this news proves that the supposed Enron tapes released today are certainly fakes.” Most insiders considered the President’s close relationship to former Enron CEO Ken Lay as somewhat of a political liability making this development welcome news.

To celebrate Mr. Lay’s vindication the President and Mrs. Bush plan to invite their old friends the Lay’s to spend the night in the Lincoln bedroom, continuing a tradition of rewarding large contributors with such privileges started when the first President Bush was in power.

When Mr. Padilla’s attorney was asked about his client’s new revelations, the attorney reminded reporters that he would be arrested immediately as an enemy combatant if he even admits that he represents Mr. Padilla. Observers say that the proof is air tight that Padilla was complicit in the Enron collapse, but due to national security concerns there will be no trial of Padilla.

Less sensational Padilla revelations were that he and coconspirators planted a particularly itchy strain of athlete’s foot in a locker room in NYC while showering at the Y. This act of bioterrorism will certainly require Mr. Padia to spend the rest of his life in solitary confinement.

[FleshCartoon]

Let's get Padilla...

...he'll do anything!

[cjbuchanan]

1. I knew it was the terrorists

If we don't pay high energy prices the terrorists have won!

[PaDUer]

2. Scapegoat?

Throwing everything on him?

[warrior1]

3. horse

shit.

Nobody is going to believe that.

[Supormom]

5. Satire.

And rather humorous at that.

[Alerter_]

7. Bush is a post-satire president

Remember after 911 they said we were in the "post-irony" age? I didn't understand what they meant but now I do.

Harder and harder to tell the "real" news from the Onion.

Yeah, I admit it. There was no link and I wasn't sure if it was real or not.

[spotbird]

8. My apology.

You are right the stuff they print as truth is so preposterous that it is hard to comprehend that it is presented as truth.

I didn't include a link because I wrote it, I should have indicated it was satire.

[Alerter_]

15. don't apologize, keep it up

it was good satire :)

[spotbird]

17. Shoot, I could do it all day every day.

and not even notice time go by.

What a shame those jobs are filled.

Hey, thanks for the compliment.

[NV Whino]

4. ???

Tell me this is satire! This cannot be true!

[PurityOfEssence]

6. Why, that dirty, dirty bomber

What won't he do?

[tandot]

9. I knew that torture will work in getting out the truth... n/t

[9215]

10. Hee, hee got the.....you know what......

sources.

I always cry when I go to that website. It hurts my eyes.


Funny as hell.

[genius]

11. Your current satire is just like regular news coverage. They make

unfounded allegations based on no evidence and expect us to swallow it.

[genius]

12. I just sent this to a young writer who said she may mention your satirical

posting in an article she's writing about the inaccuracy of the news media. The fact that it looks like a real story shows how bad the news media has become.

[spotbird]

13. Thanks.

If only I weren't anonymous this could be my chance at fame.

Really and truly, that is quite a compliment, I appreciate it.

[eyeontheprize]

14. Man, what did they do about the athlete's foot thing?

That part of the story may be true. There is some bad shit going around.

[Liberal_Dog]

16. That's Funny

I love satire.