The wit and wis-DUMB of GWB...

[WillParkinson]

"You don't need to be smart to be president"
--Republican Congressman J.C. Watts - said at a February campaign appearance on Bush's behalf. Washington Post, 6/11/00

"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."
--U.S. News & World Report, April 3, 2000

"Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning"
--Florence, SC, Jan. 11, 2000

"Actually, I -- this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about -- when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me."
--Hardball, MSNBC, May 31, 2000

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
--Reuters, May 5, 2000

"I think we agree, the past is over."
--On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000

"Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometime until we get an objective analysis."
--Meet the Press, April 15, 2000

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
--Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000

"We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations; their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal cufflink."
--Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, March 30, 2000

"The fact that he relies on facts -- says things that are not factual -- are going to undermine his campaign."
--New York Times, March 4, 2000

"It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature."
--Los Angeles, Feb. 23, 2000

"I understand small business growth. I was one."
--New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000

"How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?"
--Explaining the need for educational accountability, Beaufort, S.C.,Feb.16, 2000

"The senator has got to understand if he's going to have he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."
--To reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb. 17, 2000

"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."
--Hilton Head, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

"We ought to make the pie higher."
-South Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000

"I've changed my style somewhat, as you know. I'm less, I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show. And I'm more interacting with people."
--Meet The Press, Feb. 13, 2000

"I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should knock down the tollbooth."
--Nashua, N.H., as quoted by Gail Collins, New York Times, Feb. 1, 2000

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."
--Pella, Iowa, as quoted in the San Antonio Express News, Jan. 30, 2000"

"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."
--Speaking during Perseverance Month at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H.

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
--Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses."
--At a South Carolina oyster roast; quoted in the Financial Times, Jan.14, 2000

"There needs to be debates, like we're going through. There needs to be townhall meetings. There needs to be travel. This is a huge country."
--Larry King Live, Dec. 16, 1999

"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"
--Answering a question about why he hasn't spent more time in New Hampshire; quoted in the New York Times, Oct. 23, 1999

"Keep good relations with the Grecians."
--Quoted in the Economist, June 12, 1999

"When it is all said and done, I will have made more money than I ever dreamed I would make."
--Source & Date unknown (please email us the source if you know)

"I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember."
--On discussing the Vietnam War as an undergraduate at Yale, in the Washington Post, July 27, 1999

"Put the 'off' button on."
--South Carolina, February 14, 2000

"I did denounce it. I de-I denounced it. I denounced interracial dating. I denounced anti-Catholic bigacy... bigotry."
--Referring to his Bob Jones University visit and the subsequent criticism, Virginia, February 25, 2000

"We believe in opportunity for all Americans: Rich and poor, black and white...."
--From a speech at Bob Jones Univ., in South Carolina, 2/2/00

"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself."
--George W. Bush puts an interesting twist on Jesus Christ's proverb: "Love thy neighbor." (Quote is from the Financial Times)

"I would have said yes to abortion if only it was right. I mean, yeah it's right. Well no it's not right that's why I said no to it."
--South Carolina, February 14,2000

"My plan is realistic because it avoids meaningless 15-year projections."
--George W. Bush goes to extraordinary lengths to defend his tax cut plan. (Quote is from a Bush speech in Iowa, 12/1/99)

"The fundamental question is: 'Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?' I will be, but until I'm the president, it's going to be hard for me to verify that I think I'll be more effective."
--New York Times, 7/28/99

"There ought to limits to freedom"
--at a Press conference at the Texas State House, May 21, 1999, referring to GWBush.com

"We have struggle to not proceed but to preceed to the future of a nation's child."
--Journal Gazette 11/12/00

"My opponent seems to think that Social Security is a federal program. I believe that money is yours and you should be able to invest it yourself."
-The final Presidential debate

"Down in Washington they're playing with Social Security like it's some kind of government program!"
-NBC Nightly News (Date unknown, anyone out there know?)

"The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war!"
--The first Presidential debate

"They said, 'You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people.' And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work.
--Portland, Ore., Oct. 31, 2000

"It's your money. You paid for it."
--LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.
-Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

"If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it."
--The Presidential Debates. St. Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000

"It's going to require numerous IRA agents."
--On Gore's tax plan, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000

"I don't think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs."
--Orlando, Fla., Sept. 12, 2000. He then repeatedly mispronounced the word after his press conference.

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully"
--Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
--Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

"It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas."
--Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier...just as long as I'm the dictator..."
--Washington, DC, Dec 18, 2000, during his first trip to Washington as President-Elect

"They misunderestimated me."
--Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century."
--On the Lewinsky scandal, Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000"

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
—LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000"

"There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.'"
— Boston, Massachusetts, October 3, 2000

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question"
--Reynoldsburg, Ohio, October 4, 2000

"You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
--February 21, 2001 - President Bush at Townsend Elementary School, touting his education reform plans.

[REP]

1. "There ought to be limits to freedom"

Little did anyone realize that he was being truthful about his intentions...

[WillParkinson]

2. Oh, REP, I'll miss you....

While you're in Gitmo. But don't worry, I'll take good care of my kitty.

[July]

3. How can one person be so freaking inarticulate?

This is what convinces me that Bush is below average in intelligence.

Know any well-to-do people? If you do, you know that even when their kids turn out to be on the dumb side, the parents' wealth helps to mitigate their witlessness. The parents provide tutors and opportunities to see the world, enjoy the arts, meet interesting people, learn how to conduct oneself in public. The end result is that often the not-so-bright offspring nonetheless achieves his or her fullest potential and acquires some polish. (Let me add that some people WITHOUT much wherewithal manage to do just as well for their children, but my point is that wealth helps enormously.)

Now, GWB had, I would wager, even more opportunities than most, because his family has had great wealth for a long time and is also a well-connected family. He could have seen the world; though he didn't do that, he certainly met many major players on the world stage because of his father's several important positions in politics. He went to fine schools, even as a child. I don't know about his mother's education, but his father was well-educated and apparently accomplished in school (and I believe I've read that he's fluent in French). I'm guessing the arts weren't too important to the Bushes because I haven't seen evidence of it, so I can't comment on his cultural awareness. As for social graces, he's certainly been to more than a few formal banquets and special events where he would have been expected to show (and observe) some poise and good manners.

And yet he can barely express a thought. His shallowness is unbelievable. His manners are frightening. Even his body language is "ungrammatical." Has anyone ever done less with more? With all the advantages in life, he is a barely functioning uncouth boob. The fact that his upbringing did not help him acquire even a bit of polish, poise, or clarity suggests to me that his mental capabilities are below par.

That's my theory, anyway.

[Shadowen]

7. Hey!

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, but I can be exceedingly inarticulate, whether it's from mumbling, stammering, nervousness, or talking too quickly.

Of course, I've never said "subliminable", but I have committed some grammatical errors on par with Mr. Bush's, I'm sorry to say.

If you've read the Bush Dyslexicon, you'll learn that Bush can sound damn near eloquent (or at least crystal-clear) when he's talking about something he likes. That means his ranch, baseball, or the death penalty. Rather a disturbing collection of things to be good at talking about, really...

[July]

10. Hey, what?

Don't worry, I wasn't talking about you! We all have our inarticulate moments, and I know about Mark Crispin Miller's theory that Bush speaks well when he talks about things like death.

I'm very sure you haven't made anywhere near as many gaffes -- and "gaffes" is a nice way of describing almost meaningless, garbled, mispronounced, ungrammatical statements -- as Bush has. He has trouble even when he has a teleprompter (I believe he has some kind of reading problem, as well).

[Straight Shooter]

4. Don't forget his latest remark about "re-paraphrasing" John Kennedy

n/t

[okieinpain]

5. Thanks, I'm going to cherish these when his ass is gone in Nov.

[Shadowen]

6. Ummm...

>"It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas."
>--Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000

I'm surprised most people think this a stupid statement. The two largest trading partners of the US are Canada and Mexico. In other words...countries not overseas. But oil, and other "necessities", is being imported in greater and greater numbers to the US from overseas countries.

I know, I know; I'm as shocked as all of you that he said something that made sense and was accurate, to boot.

[Vickers]

8. Gawd, he's like Yogi Berra filtered through Atilla the Hun

:spank:

[BlackVelvetElvis]

11. Don't forget to add Dan Quayle into the equation. n/t

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

9. Dear Mr. Bush:

(Sorry, I just can't call you President, you are lucky you got the Mr. and the capital letters, ok?)

I am an English teacher and am highly disturbed that you said this, among other things:

"We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations; their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal cufflink."

First of all, I am trained. I was well-trained to be a teacher. It's called five years of college, one year of student teaching and thousands of dollars of student debt. If that isn't considered enough training, well, you need to come up with something new there, sizzlechest.

As for teaching the science of reading, just a little correction here, ok? It is both a science and an art, but I would argue more art than science.....oh sorry, I'll stop. Am I making your head hurt already?

Third, what is this "federal cufflink" you are babbling about? Please, I would love to know so that I can warn my students of it.

Thank you,
A teacher in your NON-home state of Texas