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“I can't think of anything, any mission, more important for a political party or for our candidate than the mission of restoring honor and dignity to the Oval Office.” - Dick Cheney, speech during a Philadelphia campaign rally, Aug. 4, 2000 "There's Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from The New York Times." - George W. Bush, before a speech during a Naperville, Ill., campaign rally, Sept. 4, 2000 “Go fuck yourself!'' - Dick Cheney to U.S. Sen. Patrick Leahy on the Senate floor, June 22, 2004
The recent f-bomb Dick Cheney threw at Patrick Leahy on the Senate floor shocked many people. But to those who know what Cheney is really about, it was just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the sheer evil and hypocrisy of the Humanoid Without a Heart.
Cheney and George W. – the Humanoid Without a Conscience - wouldn’t know honor and dignity if those concepts walked right up to them and punched their lights out. Their lives are testaments to how far you can go if you suck up to the super-wealthy, use your family connections and lie to get out of military service, abuse public offices and coffers to feather your own nest, invade other countries to build more wealth for yourself and your cronies as you send young men to die in wars that you lied and cheated to get out of going to when you were young and politically-connected, and if all else fails, lie, cheat, and steal, then say you are doing it for freedom, national security, and the public good.
Bush is among the dirtiest political campaigners in modern history, rivaling Richard Nixon. During his father’s sleazy 1988 presidential campaign, Bush Jr. told Lee Atwater – known as being among the slimiest campaign managers in politics – to, "Get out a dirty tricks book, Lee, and start reading."
That statement is ironic on at least two levels. For one thing, Bush himself has never read a book all the way through in his life. For another, Bush was advising an already dirty trickster to get dirtier. Bush also wrote down some lessons learned from his father’s stinging 1992 defeat to Bill Clinton, after which the elder
Bush actually cried and said to his son, "It really hurts to be rejected." Among the lessons were to "come out swinging" and "never lose" because "it hurts too damn much."
So the question becomes: How honorable and dignified can Bush really be when he’s a slimy campaigner who cusses up a storm when he thinks he’s not being watched by the Christian Right who worship him like a Messiah?
Getting back to Cheney, Leahy and others have spent months, even years, building excellent, detailed cases against the criminal behavior related to Cheney’s cronyism in making sure Halliburton, the Texas oil services company he headed for six years right before he stole the White House, got a no-bid, multibillion-dollar government contract to help rebuild the mess Cheney-Bush led us into in Iraq.
But I digress. I’ve written numerous columns on Cheney’s evil deeds, from his lies about moving to Wyoming in 2000 to his company’s unethical dealings with Iraq. I’m not sure that’s the best approach to get rid of this cancer on our country and our planet.
Maybe exploiting this latest f-bomb is a fresh approach. Sure, LBJ, JFK, Clinton, and other Democratic presidents, save Jimmy Carter, cussed. John Kerry does, but he doesn’t claim to be holier-than-thou and to receive direct orders from God, as Bush does. And you better believe Bush Sr., who once called broadcast journalist Dan Rather a "bastard" in front of numerous people, Reagan, Nixon, and other Republicans, save Gerald Ford, used the colorful language.
But even those Republicans didn’t try to grab the Religious Right vote to the degree Bush-Cheney have. Bush cynically and insincerely calls himself a "born-again" Christian, speaking in "Lord" code every so often, even claiming the "Lord" told him to invade Iraq, while acting anything but Christ-like. Maybe the profanity exposure will jolt some more people to vote these conmen out of the White House this November, although many will take the view of one clueless Republican rally-goer who applauded Cheney’s outburst, saying it made him appear more human and willing to "fight back," as if Cheney is human and never fights back or starts the fights in the first place.
Maybe the Religious Rightists who support this administration – while washing their kids’ mouths out with soap if they utter similar profanity - will begin to realize the hypocrisy behind their cussing cult leaders who pretend to be so honorable and dignified. Maybe they will finally see the Grand Canyon-like gap between the Christianity Bush-Cheney publicly pretend to follow, and the real lives they lead.
Maybe I’ll begin to believe that God - rather than some lower, selfish, greedy, hypocritical forces - really does exert control over our country’s leaders.
Until that great day comes, the following are some more profanity-laced comments from Cheney, Bush, and other administration officials they have issued in the past – and some more reports of their profanity - that I have saved for such an occasion. Don’t forget the "major-league asshole" one I put in the introductory quotes that Bush uttered exactly one month after Cheney’s "honor and dignity" lie. And don’t forget Cheney’s "Big time" response to Bush. Enjoy:
"You fucking son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote. We’re not going to forget this."
- Bush to then Wall Street Journal Washington bureau chief Al Hunt in a Dallas restaurant in front of other diners, including Hunt’s wife, Judy Woodruff, and 4-year-old son, 1986
“Pussy.”
- Bush when asked during the 1988 campaign by a reporter from the Hartford Courant what he and his father discussed when they weren’t talking politics
"When became increasingly displeased with the entropy around him ….that unhappiness was conveyed in rather salty language to senior aides by George W."
- the late J.H. Hatfield, Fortunate Son, an excellent, revealing book that Bush tried to censor during the 2000 campaign
"In the summer of 1999, Carlson wrote a piece for Talk magazine on then-Governor Bush that wasn't taken very well by his staff, because Carlson noted that Bush used profanity, something that apparently isn't appreciated by voters. Bush's campaign deputy finance chairman, Jack Oliver, called Carlson after the piece was published and screamed profanities. Carlson observed that the Bush team covered up any and all references to Bush using profanities, and many accused Carlson of lying, that Bush never says the ‘F-word,’ even though he does all the time, according to Carlson."
- Scott Spicciati, Editor, Aggressive Voice, Oct. 18, 2003
"Fuck you."
- Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz to author and talk show host Al Franken during the April 2003 White House Correspondents Dinner
"In interviews with a number of White House staffers who were willing to talk off the record, a picture of an administration under siege has emerged, led by who declares his decisions to be ‘God’s will’ and then tells aides to ‘fuck over’ anyone they consider to be an opponent of the administration…. who says he rules at the behest of God can also tongue-lash those he perceives as disloyal, calling them ‘fucking assholes’ in front of other staff, berating one cabinet official in front of others."
- Doug Thompson and Teresa Hampton, Capitol Hill Blue, June 4, 2004
" told a story about how she wore a strapless red dress made by her grandmother on her first date with Cheney and how she credited the dress with their having a second date."
- Richard W. Stevenson, The New York Times, June 26, 2004
Okay, the last one’s not really related to profanity. But thinking about Lynne Cheney in a strapless red dress made by her grandmother and how that got Cheney to agree to a second date is about as weird and profane as it gets. Other questions arise: Did they have premarital sex? And did Cheney tell his future wife to "go fuck yourself?"
Jackson Thoreau is a Washington, D.C.-area journalist/writer. The latest book to which he contributed, Big Bush Lies, is available from RiverWood Books of Ashland, Ore., at http://www.riverwoodbooks.com/books/Big-Bush-Lies.html.
He can be contacted at jacksonthor@yahoo.com or jacksonthor@justice.com.
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