I got my RNC beg letter yesterday!

[arbusto_baboso]

I felt a brief flash of anger about it, but then was just amused for the rest of the evening. Can you smell desperation, folks? I mean, obviously, now they're just getting lists of registered voters and scatter-shooting their mailings.

I've been thinking of sending back (in the considerately enclosed postage-paid envelope) one of the following 2 responses. Anonymously, of course. These bastards might put me on an enemies list otherwise. Tell me what you think of my alternatives.

First one is short, sweet and to the point:

To my friends at the RNC,

I AM making a contribution as you asked. However, it is going to the Kerry/Edwards campaign.

In the words of YOUR Vice President, "Go fuck yourself".


Choice 2 is longer, but more scathing (and more personally satisfying to me):

To my friends at the RNC,

Upon receiving your "membership renewal" application yesterday I was extremely puzzled. I have never been a member of the RNC, nor have I ever been a registered Republican. In fact, I've never even VOTED for a Republican, nor do I intend to start.

So, I must conclude one of two possibilities:

1) You KNEW these things about me before sending this out. This would indicate a cynical attempt on your part to trick me into contributing money to a cause in which I do not believe. This would make you dishonest and corrupt.

2) You DID NOT know my party affiliation before sending the mailer. Subsequently, your mailing list is incorrect, outdated, "bad intelligence", or whatever other term you may wish to use. This would indicate you are incompetent.

Frankly, EITHER possibility is entirely consistent with the RNC, the Republican Party in general and the Bush Adminsitration in particular.

Needless to say, you won't be getting a contribution from me. In fact, in the words of the Vice President, "Go fuck yourself".

SO, DUers, whaddaya think? Which one should I send?

[trotsky]

1. Ha ha - "bad intelligence"

While I prefer the 1st response, the 2nd one is awfully good too.

[SoCalDem]

2. Send the envelope back....with pizza coupons & junk mail

they have to pay the postage, and you don't need that stuff anyway.. Maybe someone there needs a pizza or a buy one get one at weinerschnitzel

[lovedems]

6. Or this would be a good contribution

Put as many tissues in the envelope you can and a nice little note saying, "You will need these November 2.":evilgrin:

[sdfernando]

3. #1 but like #2 better

My personal preference is #2, but I think you should enclose #1 instead. The reason being, that I doubt anyone would read past your first or second paragraph, seeing that is was not a contribution, they would simply toss it in the trash before reading the entire letter. #1 gets to the point quickly and the reader will most likely get to the Cheney reference and actually read it.

[11 Bravo]

4. Or you could simply wipe your ass with it,

seal it in the postage paid envelope, and return it.

[arbusto_baboso]

7. I thought about that, but the paper is too hard. And SHARP!

[LiberalTechie1337]

5. The second one

accompanied with a Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker

[skooooo]

8. #1 -- short and sweet

[tnlefty]

9. A push/poll disguised as a survey arrived here yesterday from the RNC

We sent them a note - Obviously a push poll designed to entice the uninformed GOP base and because of its lack of substance it has no relevance to any of these issues.

In the words of the christian, "family values" Vice President, "Go fuck yourself". Now I feel better.

[PA Democrat]

10. Send them a copy of the want ads

with a message that George and Dick better get a jump start. Good jobs are hard to find in this economy. Oh never mind, I forgot there is still affirmative action hiring for rich, incompetent idiots who have the right "connections".

[Gruenemann]

11. I sent my F9/11 ticket and wrote on it,

"Sorry, no contribution. I know too much about this guy!"

I couldn't help but notice every piece of paper had printed on it, "No taxpayer money was used to print this." Does that mean they don't accept federal campaign funding?

[calico1]

12. What did the letter say? Did they sound desperate?