The Lancaster Letter!

[jmowreader]

A few days ago I sent a letter to our local newspaper about Bush's plans to cancel the election. A couple days after that I reported that James Lancaster, who thinks he's Fayetteville's direct channel to God, was going to write me back, and I promised to post it.

It's here. Have fun!

Incidentally, there are two things in here. One is a printed piece, the other is James' letter. Because it requires high-end cryptologic skills to figure out what the hell James Lancaster is saying, I'll do the printed piece first.

WARNING
AWAKE! AWAKE!

YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!--unless you sincerely, wholeheartedly--repent of your sins! Then--"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ" as your Saviour and Lord! Then forever follow Him! Love Him! Obey Him all the days of your life!

No sin or sinner will ever enter Heaven! And Hell is the only other place you can go!

There is no way to escape out of Hell! Forever!--and ever! There is no purgatory! (Read Luke 16:19-31)

Jesus Christ (the Son of God) describes Hell to be:
A Lake of Fire! (Rev. 20:10-15)
A place of torment! (Luke 16:22-24)
A place where lost souls never die--and the fire is not quenched! (Mark 9:43-48)
A place of weeping--wailing--and gnashing of teeth! (Matt. 25:30; Matt. 8:12; Matt. 24:51)
A place where sonners and unbelievers drink of the wine of God's wrath! (Rev. 14:10)
A place where the smoke of their torment ascendeth up forever and ever. (Rev. 14:11)

REMEMBER! Church membership or good works or good morals, or anything else, will never save you! Jesus said, "Ye must be born again." (John 3:3-8)

ALl liars, adulterers, fornicators, sorcerers (Enchanter with drugs), murderers and unbelievers are going to spend in the lake of fire! (Rev. 21:8; Rev. 22:15)

Every Christian should warn every person possible of these absolute biblical truths. (Read Ezek. 33:8)

Now that we've got that cleared up, here's Jimmy!

Mr. Traitor,

You sorry Rascals are liars when you say President Bush is planning to cancel the fall election. You liberals are an absolute abomination to us decent, God Fearing and patriotic people.

Ugh!as we are to you creeps. We say I laugh!!! We wear your Hatred as a Badge of Honor, Ha! Ha! Ha! President Bush is a Godly Courageous and Patriotic Christian Gentleman, God Bless Him for having the courage to fight you Filthy and Bloody Traitor Scum, Yee Haw! Satan loves to go to Jesus and Slander us Saints, so when someone slanders us they just show who their Pa Pa is. Ha! Ha! Ha!

A Christian Patriot and a Warrior of Jesus Christ
James Lancaster

and yes, there were that many underlined words in it. My brace finger's plumb wore out.

[NC_Nurse]

1. So did he run

out of his psych meds? What a delusional creep!:scared:

[jmowreader]

15. This guy's been that bad forever

I know I told you about Colonel Stoeckley, the man I used to work with until he passed on just a few days after 9/11. (He died of being 82.) When Stoeckley was a battalion commander on Fort Bragg, James Lancaster kept going on post and putting anti-Catholic Chick Tracts in the chapel literature displays. Stoeckley was a serious Catholic--the Mass Every Day variety of Catholic--and was getting pretty fucking pissed at these Chick Tracts. So finally he put out a bounty on James Lancaster, and one of the chaplain's assistants caught this asshat and brought him to Stoeckley, who promised to beat the shit out of him if he ever caught him on post again.

So James Lancaster started screaming about how all Catholics and everyone who interferes with the work of the saints will going to hell because it's in the Scriptures. I guess it was pretty funny.

[VolcanoJen]

2. He underlined those words?

OMG. I mean, there really are no words. Just, well... OMG.

[mongo]

3. Jesus told me to hate you

Have a nice day....

<sarcasm mode terminated>

[rkc3]

6. I like...

Jesus loves me - so go fuck yourself.

[Renew Deal]

4. You might want to send him the quote from Ridge talking about canceling

the election.

[bryant69]

5. I've been to Hell

I mean it's not as nice as heaven or anything, but the musics a damn sight better.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[JNelson6563]

9. Was it Mark Twain that said....?

Go to Heaven for the climate and to Hell for the company.

;-)

Julie

[Hoping4Change]

13. That's a great quote. Thanks.

[reprobate]

21. And the company is MUCH more interesting.

[aquart]

7. WHAT is a "James Lancaster"?

[jmowreader]

16. He's Jack Chick with worse art skills

This is the third Lancaster Letter I've received. The first one contained a drawing of a person in Hell and "one of God's Kids." That's what he called believers--God's kids.

Anyway, imagine your two-year-old, or someone's two-year-old, drawing human heads. These were worse.

[tabasco]

8. Wow! Hell sounds like a pretty fun place.

I could go for all that drinking and smoking without the health concerns!

If Jesus came back, hateful fools like Mr. Lancaster are the first ones he would smite.

[Catshrink]

10. The jackass is so patriotic he went AWOL!!!

He's so courageous he ducked service in 'Nam.

He's so courageous he won't allow common folk into his pep rallies -- they must be vetted first.

He's so courageous he won't call on Helen Thomas.

[JNelson6563]

11. These people are sick

You should let the local newspaper see that "feedback" from that maniac.

Julie

[Hoping4Change]

14. Will God forgive people who become atheists thanks to the

likes of Lancaster?

[JNelson6563]

19. If there is a God

I am sure she will forgive me for going atheist. :toast:

Julie

[realisticphish]

12. PLEASE

tell me this was sent to you directly, and not printed by the paper...

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[jmowreader]

18. It was sent to me directly

Man, one of today's highlights was the James Lancaster letter! They're always fun.

[Octafish]

17. Jesus Christ never bombed innocent women and children...

...nor does he anywhere in The Gospels, nor do his Disciples and chroniclers in the New Testament. He used a word to describe such as this letter writer and his glorious Führer-- "Hypocrites."

[LunaC]

20. Dear Mr. Lancaster

Hate is not a Christian value!

We "sorry Rascals" will keep a seat in Hell reserved in your name!

Love, hugs and kisses,

The Liberals