OK, here's my choice:
George W. Bush vs.
Patrick Star
Using actual quotes, I suspect the dialogue might go something like this:
Bush: I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.
Patrick: Is mayonaise an instrument?
Bush: I was a prisoner too, but for bad reasons.
Patrick: Hmm... Let's get naked!
Bush: The best way to find these terrorists who hide in holes is to get people coming forth to describe the location of the hole, is to give clues and data.
Patrick: I want to defeat the giant monkeyman and save the ninth dimension!!!
Bush: And so, in my State of the — my State of the Union — or state — my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation — I asked Americans to give 4,000 years — 4,000 hours over the next — the rest of your life — of service to America. That's what I asked — 4,000 hours.
Patrick: I cannot believe what I'm hearing!
Bush: There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
Patrick: Texas is dumb?