Licorice, The Unlucky Hamster

[Plaid Adder]

One thing I will say for the Kerry campaign: they've got someone on staff who can out-Rove Rove.

In cold hard rational terms, it makes no sense to have trotted Kerry's daughters out there to introduce him; I'm not gonna vote for Bush no matter what Jenna and Barbara do, and I wouldn't expect anyone to vote for Kerry based on Vanessa and Alex. But, that's why it's good I'm not running this campaign. I overestimate people.

As everyone has mentioned, having the daughters talk about Kerry The Dad went far to counteract the "stiff, aloof, elitist horse's-ass" reputation the spinmeisters slapped on Kerry early in the game. However, I believe that the crowning blow in this respect was the story about Licorice the unlucky hamster. Not because it shows Kerry as a caring father willing to risk physical harm (well, willing to get wet, anyway) to save his daughter's beloved pet, although that probably helped. No, it's because the hamster is the ultimate destuffifying animal.

Some animals are just inherently funny (chickens, for instance). Some animals are good for evoking sentimental tears--if it were the golden retriever who had ended up in the drink, for instance. But the hamster is the ultimate destroyer of pomposity and self-importance. Anyone willing to do a photo-op with a hamster has to have some kind of sense of humor about himself.

I discovered this years ago when I was introduced to a nifty little game that English graduate students play when they've had a few: you take the title of any great work of literature and replace one of the words iwth the word "hamster." The results are hilarious. Try it:

A Tale of Two Hamsters
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Hamster
Hamster Karennina
The Hamster Also Rises

and so on. YOu can also do it with the titles to original series Star Trek episodes, many of which are quite wonderfully pretentious ("Let This Be Your Last Hamster," "Hamster On The Edge of Forever," "Hamsters of Triskelion," "For the World Is Hollow, And I Have Touched The Hamster"). The point is that everything looks more approachable and amusing when you put a hamster next to it.

No doubt Licorice has already gone to his reward, but when the party toasts victory in 2004, I hope someone will remember him. It's depressing that the question of who leads this country turns on things like this, but as long as we have to play this game, we may as well play it right.

Here's to you, Licorice,

The Plaid Adder

:toast:

[slinkerwink]

1. yay! If hamsters could vote, it'd be for Kerry!

[Longhorn]

5. I love it!

Cool graphic! :yourock:

[slinkerwink]

15. thanks! took thirty minutes with photoshop

;-)

[Blue_Roses]

23. I LOVE IT!!

n/t

[Dookus]

2. As President of Hamsters for Kerry

I couldn't agree more.

[gratuitous]

6. Uh oh, who's the true president of Hamsters for Kerry?

And is there anything funnier to contemplate than a Celebrity Deathmatch-style battle featuring two hamsters?

One flew east, one flew west
One flew over the hamster's nest

[Dookus]

13. I happen to know

that Slinkerwink's hamster is just a fat mouse in drag.

[gratuitous]

17. I hear the nunchuks rattling already

It's just a matter of time, folks. Grab some popcorn and get posting, 'cause it's about to be ON!

Everybody was kung fu fightin'

Dee de-de-de-de-deet deet deet dee

[slinkerwink]

18. hahaha, I'm not doing this competition

I think both hamster sig lines are pretty cool!

[Longhorn]

24. Very true!

:toast:

[gratuitous]

25. Hmmm, sounds like Slinkerwink's going to . . .

(Wait for it)

Weasel out.

[slinkerwink]

30. no....it was Dookus who came up with the sig line first

and I did my own variation on it :-) I just think both are cool.

[gratuitous]

32. Damn. No hamster knife fight

"Hah, he ain't pretty no more!" Moe the Bartender.

[DemBones DemBones]

40. Snarf! Glad I'd finished my ice cream before I read that!

:7 :7 :7

[Longhorn]

10. Uh-oh!

Dueling hamsters! Do I smell a run-off? :D

[omshanti]

3. On a related topic, do you know about hampsterdance?

The site has been added to considerably, but here is the original Hampster dance (make sure you have the sound up)
http://www.hampsterdance2.com/hampsterdanceredux.html

[elperromagico]

4. And in some small way,

it draws a parallel with his actions in Vietnam.

John Kerry's a guy who'll take risks, whether it's to save his crewmate or his child's furry little hamster.

[JohnKleeb]

7. yep

I heard that lemmywinks endorsed Kerry, wait was lemmywinks a hamster or a gerbil? same thing.

[AliceWonderland]

27. I was waiting for someone to bring up Lemmiwinks...

...I was just waiting. Hee.

[Sabriel]

8. How about "The Plaid Hamster"?

Hey, it works!

[Lorien]

9. Licorice speaks:

The delegates sit in hushed silence as the hamster solemnly takes the stage.

"John Kerry saved my life that day, and for that I owe him a debt of gratitude...."

:P

[slinkerwink]

21. hahahaha!

[2Design]

28. ROFL....that is a great picture

[NYCGirl]

31. LOL! But with a name like Licorice, perhaps he is a "hamster of color."

[chiburb]

33. Good! We could use help with the Native American vote...

I LOVE red licorice!

[Lorien]

50. Yeah, he probably is

but it's pretty tough just to find a photo of a hamster with a microphone, let alone a "hamster of color", lol!

[Tight_rope]

42. LMBAO...that was a good one!

[Th1onein]

48. Oh my God!

Wonderful!

[JohnKleeb]

11. It is a great story

very cute too, makes him very personable, and he really is a likable and nice guy, funny as hell too, he cracks me up. I am sure Vanessa will remember Licorice, after all, that was hers.

[calimary]

12. "Turnabout Hamster." "The Trouble with Hamsters." "Hamster Seven."

"The Doomsday Hamster!" Actually, that may be Licorice's new name - because of what it's liable to mean to bush.

OUR hamster, Lucy, is DEFINITELY a Kerry fan. But she was, long before she heard about the Licorice Rescue.

This is hilarious, Plaid!

[Plaid Adder]

14. Terminator 3: Rise of the Hamsters.

See? Isn't this fun?

Here's one question I have: WTH happened to the girls' mother? Presumably they got divorced, otherwise she would have made the video. Who's the first wife?

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[Dookus]

19. sad story

she was holding the hamster cage when it went under...

[gratuitous]

22. Bill Murray and Andie McDowell star in

Hamster Day.

Okay, I just found the one that wasn't so funny.

[JohnKleeb]

26. the first wife is Julia Thorne

I am not sure how her and John get along now, but her twin brother David is a great friend of John's.

[Generator]

35. They get along great!

Read it in Newsweek. She wants him to win. Kerry's such a mensch. (he's also a quarter Jewish, grandfather was Jewish)

[calimary]

43. My husband just mentioned "Spock's Hamster."

"HAMSTER and HAMSTER, WHAT IS HAMSTER!!?!?!?!?!??!?"

[DeepModem Mom]

16. Wonderful post!

Reminded me of a daughter's second-grade essay about her "hampster": "Grandfather and Grandmother came to visit and Hampster only bit Grandfather wunst."

[bloom]

20. to... Hamsters

:toast:

[Reciprocity]

29. Lets all do the hamster dance.

THE HAMSTER DANCE
http://www.oceanbluepools.com/hamster/

[eleny]

34. How about some Hemingway novels????

The Hamster Also Rises
A Farewell To Hamsters
For Whom the Hamster Tolls
The Old Man and The Hamster

[Sabriel]

37. Don't forget A Moveable Hamster

Or his short story, "Big Two-Hamstered River"

[dflprincess]

39. And...

The Pet Hamster, a sequel to "The Pet Goat"

[lapislzi]

36. Works for films, too

A Hamster Runs Through It
Pulp Hamsters
When Hamster Met Sally
Citizen Hamster

[Straight Shooter]

38. Okay. That's it, I'm now a confirmed "yellow hamster Democrat"

Pass the licorice, please.

[booksenkatz]

41. Plaid Adder, I think you've hit on something about JK

I just loved that hamster story.

Also, your game works well with Twilight Zone episodes:
I Sing the Hamster Electric
It's a Good Hamster
Hamster at 20,000 Feet
An Occurrence at Hamster Creek Bridge

and so on!

LOL

[WolverineDG]

44. more titles

Dances with Hamsters
Hamster-Blanca
Gone with the Hamster
Little Hamster on the Prairie
The Hamster of Oz
The African Hamster
It's a Wonderful Hamster
Hamster
Harry Potter and Hamster of Azkabahn
Harry Potter and Hamster of Fire
Against All Hamsters
The Best Hamster Money Can Buy
The Sound of Hamster
The Hamster and I


there, now i sorta feel like getting back to work.....

dg

[DemBones DemBones]

45. Licorice was lucky he didn't star in "Death of a Hampster"

which brings to mind "Hampster in Venice," too.

On a more plesant note, there's "Hampsters in Love", "Lady Chatterley's Hamster,"
"Far from the Hampster Crowd," and (a personal favorite) "Hampster Jones."

Actually, I suppose Lady Chatterley might have preferred gerbils.

:evilgrin:

[democrat_patriot]

46. The hamsterdance song - it's always in *'s head.

[noise626]

47. I Have No Hamster, And I must Scream.

to paraphrase Mr. Ellison :)

pax
ant

[DemBones DemBones]

49. Was Licorice's "swim" really "The Hampster Mutiny"?

Licorice, "Hampster of Darkness"

"Lord Hampster"

"The Hampster and the Narcissus"

"Hampster Fair"

"The Red Hampster of Courage"


Works for 20th century titles, too:

"The Hampster and I"

"A Hampster Grows in Brooklyn"

"The Hampster in the Rye"

"Hampster Redux"


Ack, Plaidie, this is worse than a song running in my brain all day! :-)

[Reciprocity]

51. Jesus Christ Super Hamster.

The Fellowship of the Hamster.
Blazing Hamster
Harry Potter and The Chamber of Hamsters
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Hamsters
Dude, Where's My Hamster?

[noise626]

52. Hamster Names Work from Prog Rock Albums, too!!!

In an effort to push this into the hoary netherworld:

The Hamster Lies Down on Broadway
The Dark Side of the Hamster
Script of a Hamster's Tear
Thick as a Hamster
Close To The Hamster
Hamster Salad Surgery
In The Court of the Crimson Hamster
Hamsters Under Pressure
Operation: HamsterCrime
Selling Hamsters By The Pound

"Can you tell me where my Hamster lies?
Cried the Unifaun to his Hamster's eyes..."

pax
ant