New cell phone lets you talk with the dead!

[tomfodw]

Bush wants to talk with Captain Crunch


http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/science/61479

NEW CELL PHONES LET YOU REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE -- FROM THE DEAD!
Govt. using device for war on terrorism!

By Stanley Donaldson

A Revolutionary new cell phone lets you talk to the dead -- for just five cents a minute! The unique device, developed by a secret division of the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), uses molecular energy waves, which are as different as fingerprints, to locate and communicate with the deceased -- no matter how long they've been dead.

"This energy becomes embedded in any object that touches our bodies for an extended period of time, such as a wedding ring or a pendant," explains a DARPA researcher who has used the phone to talk with his dead father. "A special scanner reads the energy waves from the object, then uses the waves to connect with the afterlife."

Pentagon officials hope to contact history's greatest political and military leaders to obtain advice for the war on terrorism. So far they've spoken with Abraham Lincoln, Dwight Eisenhower and Gen. George Patton.

[childslibrarian]

1. That is actually the plot of a well received

science fiction novel by Greg Bear published this summer called "Dead Lines".

[thebigidea]

2. gasp!

reminds me of that old MST3K episode, "THE DEAD TALK BACK"!

I bet an inventor with unsettling salt-and-pepper hair is behind it.

[ComerPerro]

3. Can you imagine how that must go?

"Mr. Lincoln?...Hello. We are speaking to you over a telephone... ...Yes, sir, a "telephone"... ...No, sir, its an electronic device... ...yes, sir, electricity... ...yes, sir, like a telegraph... ...No, sir, I do not know what they will think of next. ... ... Anyway, sir, we have been having problems with terrorists... ...no, sir, from Afganistan... ...well, sir, I don't know how they got here... ...no, sir, I think they took an airplane... ...An airplane, sir, it's a ... You know what? nevermind... "

[WLKjr]

5. Patton would be like this

"Let me have at the sunuvabitch W., that god damn coward!"

[KlatooBNikto]

4. I have been meaning to call Barbara Olson for quite some time now.