Edwards has NO chance against Cheney tonight

[noahmijo]

Cheney has won over a thousand debates, he is a master-debater, this guy could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves.

I have no faith in Edwards none whatsoever.

::sigh:: we might as well just give up and hand the election over.



















;)

[Wat_Tyler]

1. Cheney could sell refrigerators to Antarctica.

We're dooomed, doomed I tell ya.

[prayin4rain]

46. Mr. Apple Pie is gonna squash Satan tonight

Ooooops I meant to reply to the general topic....sorry...but yeah the Antarctica thing too ;)

[OneTwentyoNine]

59. Cheney could sell snowblowers on Waikiki beach.....

We're dead meat,goners I tell you....

[951]

64. I HATE YOUR GUTS noahmijo I really really do!

If you don't have faith in your own guy how the hell do you expect anyone else to?

[OneTwentyoNine]

66. Umm,eh.....ah well never mind...nt

[Bombtrack]

2. !

[Chelsea Patriot]

35. Such an attractive man! What hope has John Edwards?

[txindy]

37. None.

The moment Dickie talks out of both sides of his mouth at once, well, that's all she wrote. America loves beauty. So, what can be done, really? :shrug:

[devinsgram]

63. Yeah I 'd buy something from someone with a face like that.

That is enough to make children go screaming into the night. Wonder if they are going to have a halloween mask of him?

[DenverDem]

3. Is this an anti-jinx or lowered expectations thread?

Either way, good work.

[Goldmund]

4. Besides which,

Cheney has a cyber-tronic warp-engine heart which pumps extra lymph to his brain and makes him faster on his paws.

[kayell]

62. Oh, please, I do want to see Cheney trotting around the stage on his paws

snarling at Edwards. I'm sure that Edwards will run cowering as would be only expected from a trial lawyer.

[apnu]

5. yeah and the sky is falling too...

I got an idea... let's just give up having any candidate on the ballot at all! We'll just let the Republicans wins since, by your searing statement, it is a forgone conclusion that Commander Bunnypants will win the election. /sarcasm off

[noahmijo]

7. ::elbow elbow:: anti-jinx thread man...

[jobycom]

17. Missed the little winkie smile at the bottom, eh?

No worries, happens to all of us at times!

[apnu]

29. yeah. i guess so...

Its been a weird day. and tonight's debate will continue to stress me out until its over.

win or lose, tonight is a comfort food night!

[jrthin]

6. Agreed.

Sarcasm on. Since Shrub and Dr. Death are soooo good, maybe we should cancel this unnecessary election. ;-) Sarcasm off.

[Arkana]

8. I said this about *

And I'll say it about Crashcart--he's a master (de)bator.

[patdem]

16. 'master (de)bater'..would that be like reverse ejaculation? Seems

about right! Worse than 'you could ruin a wet dream' even!!! :evilgrin:

[No2W2004]

57. Ah, but the servant waits.....

while the master bates.

-History of the World Pt.1

[Wickerman]

9. The goodness and compassion oozing from Darth Cheney will so

overshadow the boyish enthusiasm of Edwards by such a length that Edwards would do well to not even show up.

tsk, tsk, a tough evening ahead...

[tridim]

10. Edwards is nothing more than a smart,

well spoken, good hearted, good looking young man. No way he can beat the most scary, evil, black-hearted senior citizen in the country. He should forfeit now.

[marano]

61. You have wit, I am laughing my ass off.

[BeFree]

11. That's funny

Reverse phsycology, eh?

Edwards is gonna zipper the dick, and pinch it's head in the process. You men know what I mean, yaouchhh.

Edwards, the trial lawyer, will convict and pass sentence on the vp. It really is "Must See Tv."

[Rose Siding]

12. Cheney has every advantage. He even gets to sit down....

so his health/age isn't likely to be a problem. Drat!

[Free2BMe]

14. Breck guy wins..Darth Vader loses....

[swag]

13. Cheney is a god! He comes out of the sky!

[Free2BMe]

19. Woopee cushion on his chair...

[Philostopher]

15. Cheney's just going to rip John's head off

and eat him. Just like in a horror movie. Only with worse teeth.

[Worst Username Ever]

18. George Lucas got it wrong.

In reality, there is no way the dark lord of the sith would have lost to Luke Skywalker. Simply put, the amount of combat and leadership experience aquired my Darth Vader would have made his defeat impossible. So is the case with Darth Cheney and Luke Edwards. Toppling the dark lord is a task that Edwards is simply not capable or doing.

[TomClash]

20. Cheney knows EVERYTHING

It will be such a slaughter, Edwards may not be able to finish the debate.

[K-W]

21. Cheney doesnt even need to talk, with one glare he will make edwards cry

When somone tries to rush to Edwards' defense, Cheney will shoot them with a freezing ray out of his left hand.

[mike_c]

22. they'll feed Cheney a couple of 10 year old girls beforehand...

...and he'll be unstoppable (as long as the debate is after sundown). Has anyone advised Edwards to wear garlic for his own protection? Cheney only has to lose control for an instant....

[Free2BMe]

23. Let me see..last week who was called and master debater...and who won....

[noahmijo]

28. Welcome to DU!

and to the world of sarcasm ;)

[nostamj]

24. cheney's dazzling smile

and open, warm demeanor will make the nation forget about Bush's slight attack of gas last thursday and will secure the election for them.

edwards' harsh and mean-spirited negativity will sink the campaign like a torpedoed swift boat.

/did i get that right?

[jobycom]

25. You forgot to mention...

He is arguing from the strength of his dark convictions, which were proven right to him and the world by the 9-11 attacks. He is a prophet and a crusader, and his righteousness will sweep all opposing views from his dedicated path.

We're doomed, doooooommmmeedddddd.

[Worst Username Ever]

26. Grrrrrrrr!

[The_Casual_Observer]

27. If I don't watch out, cheney might even convince me, with all his

powerful skills of persuasion!

[ilovenicepeople]

51. I don't know what it means but

I hear that Cheney has gravitas (and lots of it)He's going to turn that trial lawyer into a cryil lawyer.

[fishnfla]

30. 3 0f his 5 draft deferments were for debate classes. He wrote the book

Plus he has such a pleasant disposition, and he is so easy on the eyes. I'm not gay, but.....;)

[MatrixEscape]

31. Yes, it looks bad ...

Lon Cheney is a cunning linguist they say. A master of a thousand disguises! The mouth that roared. A Solar flare of phenomenal phrases.

He could sell war to Mahatma Ghandi and timeshares to the Amish. His brain is so big that he could think for TWO people! His tongue is like a flaming Pop-tart.

I would stress that Edwards had better beware of Cheney's venerable ventriloquism skills, also. Cheney will put words in his mouth.

Edwards is doomed! :scared: :nuke:

[ismnotwasm]

32. None whatsoever

That Dick Cheney, not only is he a master debater, but what a hunk of.........man! (sigh)

[Cozmosis]

33. Hail Cheney King of Men!

:)

[democrank]

34. Edwards is going down.

How he can take up the side of a run-of-the-mill little guy instead of the corporations that have made America great is beyond me. Someone needs to nail Edwards on this populist crap....and that someone is the Vice President of the U.S. of A.

[txindy]

36. I'm very worried

Dickie is such a warm-hearted, inclusionary uniter that he may not only convince all of America to vote for him, but we may even witness John Edwards changing parties live on the "TV screen." :scared:

[Carolab]

38. Dick is such a manly man

Just like *

How can a nicely groomed, manicured sweet-talking baby face hope to compete? Good thing they aren't arm wrestling!

[txindy]

47. True, that.

Plus, Dickie is so publicly proud and supportive of both his daughters that it gladdens my heart to see such a true family man in today's cynical world. **sigh** What a guy.

[gatlingforme]

39. give Edwards a chance at least. He is a trial attorney (a good one)

It's not like he just came off the turnip truck.

[noahmijo]

48. Have you met my good friend sarcasm?

:)

[gatlingforme]

60. That is two posts that I read of yours that you were sarcastic on

I will take heed on this my friend and get you back. LOL 'til next time.... I am pretty sarcastic too. two can play this game...

[aden_nak]

40. I was looking forward to this debate more than the others, initially.

Edwards built a career out of making white collar criminal assholes squirm in their seats. Add to that the fact that I've never seen a man LESS populist than Cheney. . . it's going to be a hell of a show.

[Senjutsu]

41. Are you guys talking about Dick Cheney?

Did I ever tell you about the time Dick Cheney took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Cheney takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Cheney yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'

He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen. It was the sight of Cheney's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane! Hell, he once inhaled a seagull!!

Cheney will crush all that comes before him.

[Cat Atomic]

42. Well, Dick *is* supposed to be the intelligent half of the ticket.

So I assume his genius will be so intense, it'll actually emit light.

[Cleita]

43. Oh ye of little faith!

This is going to be Daniel Webster debating the Devil. Daniel Webster won. He too was a lawyer going up against the Prince of Lies. Should be a really good debate.

[noahmijo]

49. Oh sorry you haven't been introduced this is Mr. Sarcasm

He's pleased to meet you :)

[Cleita]

54. Gottcha!

:spank:

[RetroLounge]

44. Cheney can sell ice cubes to Eskimos

we're doomed, I tell you. Doomed...

RL

[Mr_Spock]

45. Cheney is the best debater in history. Poor, poor John.

I feel bad for his children to have to witness such a public slaughtering.

[cap]

58. you mean, of course, Cheney is the master-bater ...

eom...

[HEIL PRESIDENT GOD]

50. I'm a straight male Democrat

And I fell in love, deep carnal love, with Dick Cheney during the 2000 VP debate. I almost hope Edwards gets sick so he can skip it.

[azoth]

52. It's such a shame. I hate to even think of the debacle. Poor poor John.

[RaleighNCDUer]

53. His charm and wit will blow away the evil trial lawyer.

I can't wait for the defining moment when he looks the evil trial lawyer in the eye and says "Go F*** Yourself!"

[devilgrrl]

55. Dude, I was so ready to tell you to go F*** yo' mama...

but I realized you were just joking.

:+

[Vickers]

56. Dick will clinch the election when he gives his hanky to a sobbing Edwards

*sniff*

What a gesture!!!

[dean_dem]

65. My prediction for the debate tonight....

Cheney: John, I am your father!
Edwards: NO! It can't be!
Cheney: Now join us, John, and we can rule the galaxy as father and son!
Edwards: Never! I'll die before I join you!

Hmmm, Cheney makes a good Darth Vader. I guess Bush can be Dark Helmet (Spaceballs).