Bushwell Smart?

[Atman]

Some "Get Smart" quotes

"Admiral: Our chances are slim, hopeless. We're facing imminent disaster. I must go on the air and speak to the public.

99: What are you going to tell them?

Admiral: That everything is fine."

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"99: Oh, Max what a terrible weapon of destruction.

Max: Yes. You know, China, Russia, and France should outlaw all nuclear weapons. We should insist upon it.

99: What if they don't, Max?

Max: Then we may have to blast them. That's the only way to keep peace in the world. "

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A Dubya moment:

"Max: Ninety-nine, this ship is a freighter, right?

99: Right, Max.

Max: And freighters run on fuel oil, right?

99: Right again, Max.

Max: And wooden masts belong on sailboats, correct?

99: Exactly.

Max: And this is a wooden mast.

99: Go on , Max.

Max: Ninety-nine. . . .

99: Yes?

Max: I forgot where I started."

(Thanks to my good buddy, alvy!)

[fob]

1. My favorite MAXwell Smart line

Upon getting up from laying down in the street after a car comes roaring at him, going right over the top if him without a scratch.

(from memory - not exact)

99: Max, that was incredible! How did you know to do that?

Max: It's simple 99. The car was a 1964 Chevy, and everyone knows that model has an 8-1/2" ground clearance. When I lay flat I'm only 7-1/2" high, so it was obvious!

99: Max, that was a 1963 Ford, and it only has a ground clearance of 6-3/4"!

Max: Oh. Really?

Edit: One of the top ten characters of all time. Almost as good as Hank Kimball of Green Acres!!

[Pithy Cherub]

2. Please

can we just enshrine him in a permanent "Cone of Silence."