"The falafel thing": What's your favorite Bill O'Reilley lawsuit quote?

[Bucky]

Lordy, this is delightful. Well obviously not delightful if you're some poor woman being harrassed by a millionaire perv with a penchant for bullying people who disagree with him. Sexual harrassment is no joking matter. But the sheer ineptitude O'Reilley shows at sweet talk is exactly the laugh I needed today.

He goes: "So anyway, I'd be rubbing your big boobs and... kinda' kissing your neck from behind and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing..."

I believe he's referring to the sensual pleasure of a loufa sponge, not a freaking falafel!

|
loufa sponge on left | falafel balls on right
creepy dumbass below


Um, it occurs to me I really can't post any more of this on DU. You can read the rest of his crappy sex talk at The Smoking Gun.com.

But, within the bounds of decency, post your favorite O'Reilley quotes here.

[BlueEyedSon]

1. LOL, this is the page I surfed to AT RANDOM after I saw how long the

complaint was. Glad I found a good part!

[jhain]

23. Bushims a viral afflication?

We oughta have stock in Loofas this weekend. They'll be flying off the shelves like cigars were a few years back...

[apnu]

2. "the loss of his virginity"

:wtf:

The guy has millions and he can't, at least, pay for it?!?! :crazy:

[MrBenchley]

3. "Plaintiff found O'REILLY's paranoid rambling both strange and alarming."

Sounds like what most people say when they encounter the blowhard on cable TV...

[kanrok]

4. Oh. My. God.

It sounds just like the old pervert. This is the funniest damn thing I've seen in ages. What a hoot.

[K8-EEE]

5. Oh Bill, Give Me The Tabouli, Hummus Me Baby!

This is just TOOOOOOO HILARIOUS!

[robbedvoter]

6. "He was excited from the show" - on the "climax" link

and the entire Franken part.

[OutsourceBush]

7. I like the x-rated stuff right after that part...

maybe dild-o-reily could go into business writing this x-rated stuff if he loses his job at Fox, he seems to be quite good at it.

[booksenkatz]

12. But I like Newt's X-rated stuff better

Gotta hand it to dear old Newt, who single-handedly brought the word "athwart" into common usage after many centuries.

I'll have to read Lynne Cheney's X-rated stuff to compare. So much right-wing porno to read, so little time.

[fob]

17. He already has written an "adult" novel. Franken read some of it,

or maybe even played the audio book but it was EXACTLY that type of inane banter.

Something like;
Then he took her round firm breast...
Then she said NO. DON'T. STOP. DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!
Then he continued on with her firm round...


You get the picture - It was I N S A N E!! (as well as inane)

EDIT: Their playing it on AAR - Garafalo's Show

dildO'Reilly: Hey baby put down that pipe and get my pipe...UP.

(must be read in a monotone with slight pause after the second "pipe" and a quick, slightly louder "UP") - Too funny!!

They're gonna play more after the break!! (4:05 pacific time)

[OutsourceBush]

21. "He has already written an Adult Novel.."

Well welll... that explains a few things.

[SpiralHawk]

27. "His mighty 'Lance of Love' thrust grotesquely

toward her Cave of Venusian delights...

- See, I can write this stuff, too. Where do I find a publisher?

[tabasco]

8. "O'Reilly's perverted ravings"

SWEEEET !!

[Z_I_Peevey]

9. The falafel thing

was my favorite too! Falafel, for cripes sake. Could he be any more of a blubbering idiot?

[Bronco69]

10. "During the course of O'Reilly's telephone monologue

on August 2, 2004, he suggested that the plaintiff purchase a vibrator and name it."

I have a suggestion, how about she should name it Bill? ROFLMAO!!! :-)

[Bucky]

16. Eeewww! No she should NOT name it THAT.

She should name it "the wolf-blitzer" just to get back at him. Or the "Paula's On". Or perhaps the "Dan No-I'd-Rather-Not."

[Bronco69]

19. That is about the funniest reply I've ever gotten.

Thanks! ROFLMAO! :-)

[booksenkatz]

11. That he thinks his cock is big.

The size of the cock is in direct inverse proportion to how much the man has to talk it up, give it a hard sell, so to speak.

[Bucky]

14. He's right. It's six feet tall, wears a tie, and has its own TV show.

Biggest cock in the business

[No2W2004]

13. So far, this is.....

O'Reilly further suggested that the women need to be trained so they'd be equipped and ready to go when a "real man shows up in your lives", and offered "lessons"

gods, can you be any more LAME????

[ET Awful]

15. BUAHAHAHAHAHA

LOL. . . Best laugh I've had in weeks. :)

[marano]

18. She can't be lying....

Only a fucking undersexed Repub puke could be so frigging offensive in his come-ons, has he been watching too much Ron Jeremy action or what?

[Bucky]

20. WAIT!! This quote is even better. (Coach O'Reilly)

.

When Plaintiff became embarrassed and told him that she was not interested, O'REILLY again suggested: "We should do it together, I could coach you through it." Plaintiff declined.

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! I hope she gets a jillion dollars!!

[Bunny]

22. Smut peddler. Wonder if he kisses his mother with that mouth? n/t

[camero]

24. Maybe he just likes playing with balls

He certainly wouldn't be the first one caught with them. Or the last.

[Maddy McCall]

25. The line about the "little brown woman" in Bali amazed at his manhood

LOL!!!

[camero]

26. Seriously, read the end of the falafel quote

"You know, just to keep it tuned, keep that sensuality tuned until you know Mr. Right comes along and then you can put him in traction. I'm trying to tell you, this is good for your mental health."

He knows he's busted at this point.