modern civility lesson

[cornczech04]

Ahhhhhhh....the human race; gotta love it!

This is what happened to me recently:

I was casually shopping at TJMAXX....just perusing the body oils, shower gels and other smell good stuff, when I felt a bump on my right hip. (I recently had surgery and about a million shots on that arse cheek and as a result, have some kind of chemically induced neuropathy there..in other words, a slight touch there hurts like h*ll!!) I look to my right, and a small dark-haired woman, dripping with flashy jewelry is gliding by, pushing a cart with two small children seated inside....it's obvious it was she who rudely bumped into my sore right cheek...so I say directly to her, "Hey, excuse you...." while rubbing my offended, throbbing b*tt cheek. As shopping is a CALMING thing for me...I make this comment quietly..and not really rudely...just that "hey-you-bumped-into-my-personal-bubble-and-didn"t-say-excuse-me" type of comment..."excuse you"...this woman squeals out in a high pitched voice, "OHHHH..did I bump into you? I'm sooooorrrrrryyyyyy" drawing out the sorry in a whining, grating little girl's voice, (my favorite).....you know how, when you were in elementary school and when you would grab the bottom of your wooden desk-chair right as a fart is about to escape, and you pull the seat closer and tighter to your b*tt-cheeks and your fart would get a higher pitched sound to it? Well..that's how this woman's voice sounded to me at that moment....literally this grating, nauseating sound littering the air in its offensiveness. but, regardless of my offense, I let this comment go as a small personal triumph based on the simple fact that this obvious rich-wench had FINALLY acknowledged she had run into me with her cart. A few seconds later, as I am inhaling blissful Sandalwood amoungst Ylag-Ylang mixed heavily into laurel sulphates...I hear one of the twitchy fart woman's children saying, "Why did you bump into that woman?" The woman very lowly says in response to her son, "Because that woman was in Mommy's way.."..Now I am an ALPHA female to the max, so it's HARD to allow another woman to speak to me in such a manner...but I ALSO understand that I am no longer in elementary school and cannot grab the woman by the hair and drag her into my fists, (I was an aggressive tomboy in elementary school,) so I casually comment to the woman, "Nice thing to teach your kids." The woman whipped her head around like she was in the movie, "The Matrix" at that comment, "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?" I could hear her high-pitched fart voice echoeing off the glass jewelry display case behind me, "I SAAAAIIIIIIDDD...nice thing you're teaching your kids, that it's ok to run people over with your shopping cart without apologizing....that it's ok to lie to make yourself look good....." I am STILL shocked (or maybe I'm not...I live in Chicago, after all) at this prim woman's response to my statement (and in front of her toddler children no less,) "WELL IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A BIIIITTTCCHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Now what is it about this word from an obviously unintelligent person...when they can think of nothing better to say but to call someone a name...sure, I may be a b*tch in some instances...but in this one, I was the wronged.....so, I walk away with a smile on my face, "yes, darling, I'm a b*tch...now THAT REALLY helped show what a great person you are....that you can RAM me with your cart and I'M the b*tch" and off I trot to the fancy marmalade and Scottish shortbread section.....shaking my head at how I manage to attract these kinds of crazed psychos..(maybe because I have been a crazed psycho myself, at times....) So..after sniffing a few Kona Coffee bags, I decide to check out. Now I have had really negative, bad days where the more the day went on, the angrier I got because EVERYTHING seems to be going against me...THIS is the kind of day this twitchy woman with the creepy kids was having....I somehow ended up waiting in a check-out line right next to hers with someone in front of us both, allowing us to wait, side-by-side (and all this wait-time, her children are saying things to her like, "we don't love you, mommy..." and, " We hate you, Mommy".... this is true stuff, ya'll)...and this kind of dialogue of negativity was going on while I can sense her STABBING ME with her hatred and negative thoughts,(that whole looks-could-kill thing)....oh, and I'm smiling the whole time, knowing she sees my smile....and a lane opens up RIGHT NEXT to me...the person who was to check me out got caught up in someting and hands MY things..and I mean in her hand, passes my items to the new cashier...right in front of the face of this fart woman who had RACED to try and get in front of the new line....(we have ALL seen..and maybe even done this before)..so I get to check out to the sound of one of the children saying to this freak-chic," Mommy, why did that woman get in front of us?" and the woman saying to her child..."Because some people are rude and cut in front of others..." Now I am really chuckling now....."Right, lady...I CUT IN FRONT OF YOU...the cashier ASKED ME TO COME OVER as she had my things in her hand...this does NOT equal "cutting in front of you" The woman was seething enough that I was able to get in a quick, "You know...that misery you carry follows you everywhere you go..." and it was at THAT moment in my life that I learned I was ugly.......I believe she qualified that comment with "Well, you're an ugly..um...person!" Interesting human exchange here, when a person can get slammed in a sore hip, decide to demand civility from the aggressor and in less than 10 minutes be labelled a b*tch and an ugly one at that!!!! AAAhhhhhhhh.....good thing civilization is there to tame us.....

Wow...what a day!

[HFishbine]

1. I know what you mean!

I had an ingrown toenail last week and it hurt for days.

[markbark]

2. It's moments like that that reinforce one of my favourite sayings...

Every time in my life that I wished I had a large caliber handgun at my disposal, thirty seconds later I was glad I didn't.


--MAB

[cornczech04]

4. yeah....

though I believe in my RIGHT to have a gun...it's a good thing most of us have the sense NOT to carry one on us...I would have been dead years ago, otherwise...(either shot by another psycho...or electrocuted after I went into my OWN PMS (or just bad day) ratt-a-tat-tatt rage

interesting side: When walking in my Chicago neighborhood, it took about 6 months for people to respond to my "good-morning" with something other than a blank stare or a "ok-take-what-you-want-just-don't-kill-me" look.....and SOME actually now say it back....

might be SOME hope after all...well...if B*sh loses......

[undergroundpanther]

5. I would have

Leaned over when her kids were saying they hated thier mommy and said
"psst..If I had your mommy as my mommy I'd hate her too,good luck growing up with that parental disatater area kid, I myself hope you are strong enough to grow up to be totally opposite of the kind of person she is.Hope you can find someone in your life who's capable of role modeling what real courage ,integrity and civility is for you so you won't grow up to be an asshole and be treated like the asshole in life and wonder why."

[rl6214]

3. It's a no win situation

cornczech04, people just don't have the civility we used to have years ago. I see it here on these boards with all of the names people call others just because they don't like their views.

It's okay to have a differing veiwpoint but why do people have to stoop to such levels as to call people they don't even know: bitches, sluts, whores, a$$holes, dip$shits and worse.

[undergroundpanther]

7. Because

Our culture tolerates bullies verbal or otherwise.

Bullies violate social boundaries when not enough people bother reinforce them by standing up for their own humanity and dignity as human beings or stand up for others.We are a nation of bullies and bystanders and this lack of civility reflects this..
If you want civility to return make civility a requirement directed to everyone you relate to.To get civility out of a bully you must command civility from them. First treat others with respect lest you be a hypocrite,Likewise be intolerant of being disrespected judge disrespectful behavior as the wrong it is,and have enough humility to realize when you may be in error or making assumptions, and have enough courage to stick to your guns when you know you are right to stand up. We need as a culture to allow ourselves to have thinner skins.Than maybe we'd be able to have enough sensitivity to have a bit more empathy and that in turn can help us all choose civility for ourselves and our culture.No more by standing.

[onecitizen]

6. This is exactly why..........

I hate to be out in public. I've made the decision that when a clerk waves over to her new line, to just stay put. To move would invite irrational people to become irrational with me. I already have enough trouble. :-)