Got my husband's final decision tonight and I'm po'd

[phylny]

He was wavering, and for a time was leaning toward Kerry, but said tonight he'll vote for Bush. I'm extremely disappointed, but not surprised - he's only voted for one Democratic candidate for President, and that was in Clinton's second term versus Dole. He doesn't keep up with the news at all, and when I toss fact after fact at him, he's silent. I think he's clueless, really.

Personal venting here: The thing that bothers me the most is that I've always respected him. He's such a good man, a wonderful and faithful husband and a terrific father. But now, honestly, I've lost a tremendous amount of respect for him. It just makes me sad that he thinks Bush is worthy of his vote.

I'm so sad, and po'd, that I'm plotting my revenge. Yeah, I can withhold sex, but that's not my style - plus, why punish MYSELF? What I *will* do, however, is not tell him where we vote. He didn't get a voter's registration card, even though he's registered, and he probably has no clue where to go (we've recently moved).

I'll use caller ID judiciously that day. I know where to vote, but I'm not telling.

Juvenile of me? Why, yes.

[DrZeeLit]

1. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Yeah, withhold the poll...

...Doesn't that sound dirty?

I'm giggling!

Kerry On!.

[phylny]

14. It does sound dirty

That's why I liked it

:9

[w13rd0]

2. Take the pledge...

...withold completely.

[notadmblnd]

3. go spend his money

get yourself something real nice.

[Stew225]

6. Wow! How many of us can empathize with you.

I just got the greatest email from my friend who is a police chief in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio. He is a lifelong friend and one of the greatest guys I know. But he is pro-Bush and tries to get me to vote for the Shrubster.

I don't get it. Thanks for sharing, though.

[phylny]

10. Thanks for your words of support n/t

[glitch]

4. I like your style - sorry about the hubby. nt

:evilgrin:

[Iris]

5. You're right on. Why make it easy for him to vote for someone who has no

intention of making anything easy for you (or any other woman for that matter)?

[phylny]

8. This is a man with THREE DAUGHTERS

yet even when I brought up the threat to Roe v. Wade, he doesn't budge.

It's disheartening.

[Iris]

11. What about Family & Medical Leave?

He wants his daughters returning to work 2 weeks after delivering one of his grandchildren?

[phylny]

13. I know, I know.

It's devastating to me.

[vetwife]

38. He would feel differently if one of his children had juvenile diabetes

God Forbid, or he came down with Parkinsons. Talk to him reasonably about whats around the corner in his own house is always a possibility. See we had no idea our little gradndaughter who we adopted was diagnosed with JD at age 10 and has been insulin dependent for 4 years now. We didn't know my Dad would start showing Alzheimers. We didn't know that our son would lose his business and suffer from a complete breakdown after his wife left him. No insurance. No job. Pulled his own tooth. I didn't know I would have to start taking BP medicine.

I had no idea that a Combat VN vet would try and take his life via the internet when the Iraq war broke out and he called me because of the vets org. at 2 in the morning. All of those things happen somewhere else right? Wrong. I didn't know that Bush has made it really bad for the Iraqi vet when he gets home and I got documents to prove it. HE doesn't know that the combat vets are having flashbacks and nighmares over the swift boat vets liars ad. See I am married to one of those combat Vietnam Vets who served with the 101st in 71 and he said everythin Kerry said was truth. He is 100 percent disabled and waits 6 to 9 months for an appointment. Nope I would say your hubby doesn't know these things. You DO switch horses in midstream if the horse you are riding on is really a turtle and sinking. You get a real horse and turn the reigns around for America. Its not all about Iraq. My sympathies. I tell you why, good people who don't know can be part of the problem rather than part of the solution. Can't you just ask him not to vote on your behalf?

[Maple]

7. If he votes Bush

and you vote Kerry, you've cancelled him out.

Revenge. ;)

[phylny]

23. True, plus we're in New York so it's not crucial.

In fact, our oldest daughter just participated in her very first election (she's so proud!) by absentee ballot and voted for, you guessed it - KERRY!) So we got him, 2 - 1. It's more a matter of principle.

[NV Whino]

9. Grounds for divorce!

Take a reeeeal close look at your relationship.

In the best of times, a relationship can survive a political difference. Today? I don't think so.

edited for typos.

[phylny]

12. No, not at all.

I love him, we've been married 23 years. We've dealt with lots of things during that time, but this isn't the thing that'll split us up.

[Roy]

21. And you keep right on loving him.......

Remember, for better or worse?

Even good men have faults, and as long as he is a good man, hold on.

there is too few of them out there.

[phylny]

24. Thank you, your response was very kind :)

[AmerDem]

15. your husband is a fascist enabler

just telling it like it is.

[phylny]

18. Thanks for the, uh, kind words n/t

[AmerDem]

55. don't thank me, thank your husband

[BlueHandDuo]

16. I love your solution...

...if hubby doesn't find the polling place, it's a natural consequence of his own refusal to educate himself about the election.

[wishlist]

17. Keep him pleasantly distracted and maybe he'll forget about voting!

Maybe if you don't mention voting and you keep him busy and distracted with non-election related stuff, polls will be closed before he gets around to voting.

On the other hand, I am having to sweet talk my Democratic but not very political- minded husband into voting early here in N.C. so he doesn't get irritated and just give up with the long lines on Tuesday.

[Nikia]

19. Does he have any good reasons?

Some people firmly believe in some rather non progressive things and will vote for Bush for those reasons. If he was wavering though, he must not be one of those people.
Here are some talking points that have actually worked for me:
1. If Bush is actually tough on terror why is he creating terrorists in Iraq rather than going after the real terrorists who attacked the WTC?
2. The price of oil and gasoline has gone up rapidly in the recent past. John Kerry says that he will support alternative energy. The Bush family has a personal financial interest in the oil industry. Under which president will gas prices rise or fall?

[phylny]

27. His ONLY reason is he doesn't want to "switch horses" during the war

I have TRIED AND TRIED over the past few months to slowly give him factual information, such as what you've shared above, regarding the horrors of this misadministration. I tune into The Daily Show because I know he'll enjoy it, PLUS I believe they have an honest look at politics.

This evening, when he told me about his vote, I went on and on for about 15 minutes. No ties between Saddam and 9/11, no WMDs, price of gas, first president to cut taxes during the war, humongous deficit, opposed to Roe v. Wade, his mocking of the woman on death row, you name it. The two younger kids were there and were aghast at this pResident (my high-schooler participated in the mock election and, YES, voted for Kerry). But I do believe nothing will sway him.

[Nikia]

31. Didn't we already accomplish the purpose of war?

Wasn't it allegedly to remove the awful dictator who hated America? Didn't we already do that. What is Bush hoping to accomplish by not involving the UN? Steal Iraq's oil? Why are more US soldiers dying after the war then during it?
I suppose that he is unknowingly brainwashed and nothing will change his mind. Yeah, don't mention voting on election day.

[flpoljunkie]

35. Bush really does flog the "don't change horses in mid-stream crap."

Yet, so many uninformed men, and some women, fall for this. It doesn't seem to matter what a mess Bush has made of the war in Iraq.

Perhaps his support is not really deep and he will be too busy to vote or the lines will be too long and he'll say screw it. Or maybe he will just decide not to vote. If he does, he won't be the only Republican who stays away from the polls this Tuesday.

[Pump Man]

20. I WOULD TELL HIM ABOUT SICKLE CELL RESEARCH BUSH BLOCKING

VOTE=====http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6092749

[Eloriel]

22. Honey, trade him in

Get one like mine: I tell him how to vote, he goes and does it.

Okay, just kidding. Sort of.

Mine happens to despise Bush and doesn't need any prompting. Beyond that, he knows very well that his values are true blue Dem (else I couldn't have married him in the first place, you see) and knows how to vote on his own for most things. On other issues, such as Referenda and the like, he knows I'll know what the score is, so I tell him and he votee. :-)

Love that man o' mine. So sorry about yours. I can understand about the respect thing, too. It would be VERY hard for me to want to stay with him.

[HootieMcBoob]

25. It might help if you get him good and drunk on Monday night

then he might have such a hangover on Tuesday that he won't feel like waiting in line to vote, that is if he even remembers and if he even figures out how to find the place :) Just a suggestion :evilgrin:

[OnionPatch]

26. My sister did the same

She knows her husband won't vote for Kerry, so she never bothered to even talk about registering, etc. He's clueless and won't do it without her help. She's registered and already voted by absentee ballot. She's in Michigan too! :thumbsup:
I don't think you're obligated a bit to help someone do something you disagree with. Not even your husband.

[bloom]

28. Bombard him with news

Don't act like you are trying to change his mind - just talk about the unguarded weapons that are lost, all of the ways the Republicans are trying to steal votes in Florida, Ohio, New Mexico, Colorado, and like what Greg Palast was talking about - American newspeople are afraid to report on some of the voter fraud because the Republican National Committee has threatened to withhold access (to events)...............

Turn on Democracy Now. Watch Hijacking Catastrophe (again, if you've seen it already).



Make your own poster:

“You can fool some of the people all of the time and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.”

George W. Bush -- Gridiron Dinner, Washington, DC March 31, 2001

Tape it to the cereal box.

[Iceburg]

43. You vote early, then take him on a short holiday out of state

starting Saturday until lets say (...I'm just pickin' any ol' date) after Nov 3

Councillor Troy

[m berst]

29. one last try?

Here is my last ditch effort with one particularly recalcitrant, but intelligent Republican.

Dear ****

The integrity of the electoral process is what is at stake, and I certainly don't want the Dems to pull fast ones any more than I do the Republicans. I would rather have the Republicans win an honest election that have the Dems win a dishonest one. Can you take that statement at face value and trust me, or are we too far gone down the partisan track for that? If we are, then why bother discussing anything?

The Dems aren't saints - people aren't saints for the most part. But I can tell you that there is a manipulation going on right now to corrupt our electoral process. I won't blame the Republicans for this, because it really is just a small band of ruthless and unscrupulous men.

If they succeed it will hurt Dems and liberals for a little while, but it will have its most lasting and damaging effect on the Republican party, and it will do serious harm to the country.

I will give you an example from history of why this would be bad for both of us.

You know that Lincoln's election in 1860 triggered a reaction from some Southern states that led to a civil war. My personal sympathies are with the North and the Republican party, and they "won" big time - but at what cost? With the Southern Democrats out of the congress the Republicans went hog wild with their power and we wound up with arguably the most corrupt administration in history - the Grant adminstration.

Now, even though I would have been a Grant supporter and a Republican voter, I hope to God that I would have had the courage to call 'em as I saw 'em and to withdraw support from the Republicans when they went too far and were damaging the country, even if that meant giving the Democratic party an advantage.

I deeply and sincerely believe - and I am no slouch or partisan hack when it comes to the subject of American history - that the current adminstration is worse than the Grant adminstration and is the most dangerous adminstration we have ever had.

If I could wave a magic wand and put an honest Republican adminstration in power tomorrow for you and for the sake of the country, I would do that. Now, though, I am stuck with one and only one alternative, and that is to take a partisan position in support of Kerry. I am very unhappy about that because you and so many like you are going to be very unhappy and we will continue to be divided and we will continue to tear our country apart for the sake of partisan gain.

That is why I supported Clark, and the Howard and then Dennis. In each case I believed that they would rise above partisanship and do what was best for the country.

Kerry may. I don't know. All that I can promise you is that I will continue to speak out against Dems and Republicans and advocate what is best for the country - a de-escalation of this bitter partisanship and slide towards civil unrest and violence. Will you join with me in putting country first, even if it means that you have to suffer a Dem adminstration? I believe that if the situation were reversed, I would. I hope that I would. The first President that I campaigned against and criticized was Johnson, so I have been there. He was pressured to resign, and "my side" lost the general election as a result, but I did what I thought was best for the country.

Are you willing to make the hard choice here for the good of the country? That is what I am asking you to do.

[phylny]

32. This was so thoughtfully written

I'm sending it to his work tomorrow. Beautifully done!

[m berst]

33. thank you and please do

I hope it helps and best wishes in this.

[AspenRose]

30. There's a support thread in the Meeting Room

Started a week or two ago.

[GreenPartyVoter]

34. Hang in there, love him anyway, and give him a big

"in your face" when Kerry wins. ;)

[phylny]

37. Yes, Yes, YES!

The best thing about a Kerry victory will be when my husband, and the country, sees what an improvement the new administration will be.

I remember after Nixon was impeached and left office, that the days after when the new administration came in, people talked about the "breath of fresh air" atmosphere that permeated Washington. I think we'll have the same feeling. I honestly do!

[Cleita]

36. I don't know if you have children or plan to but anyone

who has a family and isn't Croessus rich really has to worry about keeping the PNAC in power. Bush is the ticket that keeps them in power, robbing us, killing our soldiers and making this once great country into a third world country. I hope that somewhere you can reach into his mind and touch that part of him that worries about the future.

[pa28]

39. Then there is this . . .

http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/bushwhacked?swhomeclicktrack=af5

[vetwife]

40. Tell him to read this..Please

God Forbid, or he came down with Parkinsons. Talk to him reasonably about whats around the corner in his own house is always a possibility. See we had no idea our little gradndaughter who we adopted was diagnosed with JD at age 10 and has been insulin dependent for 4 years now. We didn't know my Dad would start showing Alzheimers. We didn't know that our son would lose his business and suffer from a complete breakdown after his wife left him. No insurance. No job. Pulled his own tooth. I didn't know I would have to start taking BP medicine.

I had no idea that a Combat VN vet would try and take his life via the internet when the Iraq war broke out and he called me because of the vets org. at 2 in the morning. All of those things happen somewhere else right? Wrong. I didn't know that Bush has made it really bad for the Iraqi vet when he gets home and I got documents to prove it. HE doesn't know that the combat vets are having flashbacks and nighmares over the swift boat vets liars ad. See I am married to one of those combat Vietnam Vets who served with the 101st in 71 and he said everythin Kerry said was truth. He is 100 percent disabled and waits 6 to 9 months for an appointment. Nope I would say your hubby doesn't know these things. You DO switch horses in midstream if the horse you are riding on is really a turtle and sinking. You get a real horse and turn the reigns around for America. Its not all about Iraq. My sympathies. I tell you why, good people who don't know can be part of the problem rather than part of the solution. Can't you just ask him not to vote on your behalf?

The original post is # 38..Had to post it where you could appeal one more time !

[phylny]

41. Thanks, Vetwife, I will indeed share this information with him. n/t

[phylny]

42. This link didn't work for me n/t

[pa28]

62. It takes some time. It's a VERY cheap laugh. n/t

[OneTwentyoNine]

44. Just let it slide,my wife will probably vote for Chimp...

She's a pharmaceutical rep,so you know the BS that she's been bombarded with by her company about evil Liberals. She takes my daily rantings about Bush and most Republicans in general,my Kerry yard sign and doesn't criticize because she knows where I stand on issues that help the MOST people,not just the privileged few.

Our 20th anniversary was last Wed and I hope she'll have me till I die. If she votes for Republicans thats her right and I have mine.

David

[phylny]

45. Thanks, David, for your thoughtful response n/t

[Cleita]

46. Cancelling out each other's vote.

I guess that works too.

[sbj405]

47. There's still four more days

Why are you giving up on him just yet? If he's clueless, clue him in. Hell hound him until Election Day ;-) I can't imagine anyone with children voting for Bush. Frame it in terms of what four more years of Bush will do for your children.

[Carolina]

48. I am truly amazed

because my political passion is such that I seriously don't know if my marriage of 22 years could survive in your situation. Until this cycle, my husband was generally apolitical but reasonable and fairly well read. Now, however, he is in total amazement that anyone who is not a greedy, ignorant, racist, fundamentalist homophobe could vote for Bush. Also, although he is not a particularly religious man, he actually prays each night: "Dear Lord, please help us elect Kerry so my wife won't have a stroke."

We both have found ourselves retreating from relationships with Bushbots yet I carry it to the extreme meaning that I do not patronize businesses, artists (i.e. movies) or any other venues that support repukes and this fascist regime.

Your idea of passive-aggressive sabotage of your husband's effort to vote is OK but the deeper issue is how you deal with your state of pissed-off-ivity about your husband's position and the potential lingering political divide in your household. My best to you :hi:

[phylny]

51. I suppose I'll deal with it the best I can

I mean, I won't divorce him. In every other way, our marriage is wonderful. We don't usually discuss politics in our house - this year being the exception.

To me, shunning him or otherwise sabotaging our relationship would be as silly as disowning a child because of politics. Some people might do it, but I would never.

[falcon]

49. Women

They are such wonderful human beings. I could never have sex with someone who voted for shithead. I guess it takes more understanding than I can muster.

[phylny]

50. I'll take it as a compliment, even if it's not meant as one.

[falcon]

60. it is a compliment.

I'm am not a mean person.

[Cronus Protagonist]

52. Divorce him right away

Tell him to marry Bush's daughter and go sign up for the war...


...just kidding, but really, you still have a few days to get to him. Keep at it. Don't take no for an answer.

[paulk]

53. don't tell

all's fair in love and war...

and this is both

[JennC]

54. Same here

Knowing that my dh, who voted for Clinton the first election, has been sticking up for Bush for a year now I didnt discuss registration with him. He isnt registered. I am. HA!

I feel the same way that you do for yours.. love but such a sad feeling. The respect issue is big. Hopefully I can get him off the koolaid over the next few years while we bask in a Kerry administration. We have backed off of discussing politics for a few days now because it was really getting nasty. My last word was "say it... President Kerry... get used to it".

Thankfully we do great about everything else. I have to wonder if it is just a need to be on a debate mode. I have hopes for him ;-)

Hang in there. Everybody has their flaws!

[ReadTomPaine]

56. I wonder what his reaction will be if Bush loses.

I wonder if it will be as well considered and evenly tempered as yours. Most Republicans aren't that way, which is why they are Republicans.

Another thing to consider. What if Bush steals it again? How will you feel about him when you see his smiling face a week later when Bush suppressed all challenges to the fraudulent results with force?

RTP

[starbuck6446]

57. EX-LAX... can't vote if you can't stand in that long line!! :) n/t

[leftofthedial]

58. I couldn't do it

If this were me, it'd be D-I-V-O-R-C-E time.

[america2002]

59. I don't know

I believe everyone should be encouraged to vote whether you are black, white, male, female, muslim, catholic, democrat, or republican. I believe that even if people are voting Republican or Democrat we should help to vote because I want TRUE DEMOCRACY in our country. By using tricky moves to stop others from voting on both sides only undermines our country and society.

[Bozos for Bush]

61. Please show him my tagline - it should sway him for good

I believe it summarizes the absurdity of giving the evil one 4 more years.

Good luck!

[PartyPooper]

63. Relax. Every one of us here at DU is dealing with similar issues.

If we were all to be honest, we would admit it. Let's face it, we all know family and friends who are voting for Bu$h. Myself included. :-(

Peace.

O8)