Students experience reverse culture shock

[Rose Siding]

MIDDLEBURY, Vt. -- For some college students, the hardest part about studying abroad wasn't adjusting to life in a foreign country. It was coming home.

Brian Fink says the feeling hits him in the library -- the palpable stress of his fellow students at Middlebury College reminds him how much he misses the more contemplative pace at the French university where he studied last year.

Gale Berninghausen wonders if she'll ever uncork the bottle of Spanish wine she's saving for an occasion that reminds her of the lingering, talkative dinners she recalls from Madrid.

And Mary Hiebert feels it at unexpected moments. Once, she was out for coffee with her parents soon after returning from Ireland when she burst into tears.

"I had this vague sort of sadness," Hiebert recalled. "I didn't know what it was, or how to talk about it. I think it was a sense of loss."

Many of the 160,000 American university-level students who study abroad each year set off well prepared with language and cultural training. Experts say they're often less prepared for the jolt of coming home. What may strike friends as annoying disdain for the life they've returned to may actually reflect real depression.

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2004/10/29/students_experience_reverse_culture_shock/

[deadparrot]

1. I felt the same way after I went to Italy last summer.

I still miss Europe.

[BlueJazz]

2. Years ago I took a "stay" with friends in Europe and...

...I can well understand how a young student, having experienced the smooth-sailing European lifestyle, would find America quite stifling when they returned.

IMHO..I think a lot of it has to do with the Religious rednecks and their shallow views that folks have to endure in the USA.

[PittLib]

3. I went through this exactly ...

after spending my junior year in Austria. I had joined a sorority my sophomore year (yeah yeah) and when I came back, I felt totally alienated. I made arrangements to live in our off campus house not realizing what a nightmare it would be. I quit* the sorority, moved out and kept only the friend who shared my time abroad. No one was interested in my experiences, not my high school or college friends -my family was ... but only for about 5 minutes. It is very difficult - but don't get me wrong ... so worth it. I spent the following 2 summers in Italy and was fine upon my return. One usually is warned of culture shock upon arrival in another country ... just not of the culture shock on the return. This experience changed my life immeasurably and if you have the opportunity ... by all means go for it. Just be prepared and realize that it isn't just you.

[smirkymonkey]

18. I also spent my junior year in Vienna, Austria and experienced

the same thing. As soon as I arrived back at Kennedy Airport, I burst into tears - and I am not a crier at all. Something about the pace of life here, the stress in the air, that seemed like such a shock to me.

Ever since then, I have always felt like I have been a stranger in my own country. I have been back and forth to Europe a number of times since then, but always as a tourist and not as a resident, so the reverse culture shock wasn't as strong as it was the first time.

[DELUSIONAL]

4. Very common reaction when returning home after

being abroad.

And I do believe cultural shock is somethings that military brats deal with in every move -- especially after living on overseas posts -- or in different parts of the US. When asked the question "where are you from"? Most of us are at a loss to answer that question.

Most of my life has been in Western States -- I had cultural shock when I lived on the East Coast US for a couple of years. No cultural shock when visiting certain islands in Caribbean (non-US -- UK heritage).

[DemBones DemBones]

6. I finally learned the short answer to "Where are you from?"

It's "the Navy" /"the Army"/etc. It beats stuttering or long explanations.

Pat Conroy says the other question military brats can't answer is "Where will you be buried?" I'm thinking of a little cemetery in Italy. . .

[Eye and Monkey]

7. I once explained to students in China that to many/most Americans -

that several seemingly similar ways to state the question can evoke different responses -
* where are you from?
* where were you born?
* where did you grow up?
* where do you live?
* where do you call "home"?

To most Chinese, the answer for each question was pretty much the same. Not so for Americans.

Re-entry to 'original' culture following immersion in another is difficult. It's been a part of my career - I've worked in something like 15 countries over the last dozen-or-so years.

[DELUSIONAL]

20. The only answer for us -- can be _____ fill in branch of military

I was born in a military hospital in a state in which I've only lived in for the first 3 days of my life.

My answer to "where are you from" is "I'm a Navy brat". Heck even my birth certificate on the back said "property of the US Government". (Reason -- I was born in a government facility -- and the paperwork belonged to the US military -- although I applied for a copy from the State.)

In effect military brats are drafted into the military. And you better believe we live "under military law" -- always aware of our father's position and that he is the chain of command. Strange way to grow up -- I can't comprehend growing up living in one place filled with civilians.

I find it interesting that Kerry was born in a military hospital in Colorado. So in a sense he began life as a military brat. (See -- couldn't help but bring it back to the election.)

This is rather typical for military brats -- as to where to be buried -- ashes spread somewhere? See -- this one is hard for us to answer.

But I do believe that everyone should be exposed to other cultures -- at some point of a school career -- it would encourage open mindedness toward other cultures.

Other cultures could be Northerns (USA) getting to know the South, etc etc etc.

[RainDog]

5. The same thing happened to me

I went overseas when I was graduated from high school. My life was forever changed for the better by the experience.

I honestly do not understand why my fellow citizens think that the Hobbesean view of life is the way things have to be.

I've been overseas many times since that first trip and I wish all Americans could have the experience of living in another country with democratic values...see how others treat their citizens.

As Scalia said in "God's Justice and Ours," "post-Christian" Europe shows the "problem" with democratic values...they interfere with right wing attempts to repress citizens.

[cire4]

8. I hope every college student considers studying abroad.....

Stuyding abroad is sooo much fun and I urge every college student here on DU to try it at least once in their college career. You will have the most amazing experiences and meet some of the most amazing people. It WILL NOT be something that you regret doing and you WILL NOT want to leave when its time to come back to the good ol USA.

I still can't wait to go back. Regardless of whether Kerry wins or loses, I'm looking forward to spending more time abroad.

[Kipepeo]

14. I wish Bush had studied abroad

Or even ever *been* abroad before becoming Presnit.

What a dumbass. And he had all the means...

[cire4]

21. Bush never even made it to Canada!

Never having the desire to venture just slightly beyond your home borders says an awful lot about a person. With all the money he had, you'd think just once he would pursue independent travel. But nope. He obviously had no curious desire to explore the world that he was a part of, experience other cultures, and see how other people liveve. That probably explains his simple, fucked up, black and white, Us vs. Them worldview. Remember when he made fun of David Gregory because he asked Chirac a question in French? What a complete ignorant ass....

And what a contrast he is to the Democrats who spent their young years abroad: Bill Clinton (Oxford/Europe), John Kerry (Paris/Vietnam), Howard Dean (England/Eastern Europe), Wes Clark (Oxford). etc. etc.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

9. When I was teaching, I constantly pushed the idea of study abroad

The average young American seriously needs to get out of his/her comfort zone and experience another way of life.

My studies in Japan changed my life in ways other than determining my future career. They gave me an abiding interest in transportation and urban planning and a notion of how the rest of the world views the U.S.

Last week I talked with a fellow translator now living in Minneapolis who lived in Japan for ten years. He, too, noted that none of his old friends seemed to be interested in his experiences or perspectives. More than that, they seemed threatened by his knowing another culture. He's now plotting how to go back to Japan where he feels that he has real friends.

[fortyfeetunder]

10. I had culture shock and didn't leave the USA

in the 70's I was visiting relatives out here in Seattle. The second visit, I returned back to the East Coast and was totally depressed. And this was after I spent a vacation in the UK.

The culture shock from West to East was stifling I hated being home. I realized I was a laid back person who had no false pretenses and it was accepted in the Seattle area. Back at home, my psuedo-hippie dress (jeans, tennies, T-shirts) wasn't quite accepted on campus. It didn't help that I was living at home and going to college. One 4 yr degree and a job later, I came back to stay and haven't returned to the East Coast to live since.

[JVS]

11. When I got back from a summer at a German university at 19 my buddies...

said that I had PTSD, post-teutonic stress disorder. I was kind of bummed because even though I took 21 credit hours that summer it was relaxing and fun. A couple Literature classes and a few language classes that focused on different aspects of proper grammar and phonetics. It was pretty easy. All I had to do to pass those courses was show up and learn to speak German well, which was the whole point of going. Lots of fun.

Edit: I missed the beer too.

[Kipepeo]

12. I had the same problem

We had to go to some cheesy-ass "travel abroad culture shock" seminar beforehand where sorority girls got up and talked about how hard it was to transition to England. ;)

But the culture shock coming back was so much worse than what they prepared us for. I was in East Africa for about 5 months, and by the time I came back I was so happy to be home but when I hit the London airport I was so disgusted. Wealth everywhere. Bath and Body Works?? My God! I was so judgmental. It lasted for almost a month...just seeing the huge difference in living conditions...how I could go to the grocery store and have so many useless mundane privileged choices...like with Salsa. Do I want this brand or one of those three? Do I want chunky or smooth? Mild or medium or hot? It drove me batty for a while: The excess.

[Columbia]

13. Not for me

Living abroad made me appreciate my home here ever so much more.

[Kipepeo]

15. Where were you?

I appreciated my home too...for the advantages and luxuries that so many take for granted. But I was also pissed off at my home for being so ignorant of most other peoples' lives and circumstances...

[Columbia]

17. Middle East

[Swamp Rat]

16. Uaaaa! Tenho muitas saudades do Brasil e do Nordeste. Ai jumento!

Asa Branca

Quando oiei a terra ardendo
Qual fogueira de São João
Eu perguntei a Deus do céu, ai
Por quê tamanha judiação
Que braseiro, que fornaia
Nem um pé de prantação
Por farta d'água perdi meu gado
Morreu de sede, meu alazão
Inté mesmo a asa branca
Bateu asas do sertão
Entonce eu disse, adeus Rosinha
Guarda contigo meu coração
Hoje longe muitas léguas
Numa triste solidão
Espero a chuva cair de novo
Pra mim vortá pro meu sertão
Quando o verde dos teus óio
Se espaiá na prantação
Eu te asseguro, num chore não, viu?
Que eu vortarei, viu, meu coração.

[Bosso 63]

25. order and progress

I have two small kids and a minivan, the whole suburban thing.
. . And while  I wouldn't trade what I have now for the world,
I sometimes like to think about a winter that I had almost
nothing, nothing but time. A perfectly good Minnesota winter
that I wasted surfing and drinking in Rio de Janeiro, and I
then just smile.

[Kanary]

19. I experienced the same thing, returning from a trip to Greece.

Culture shock *returning*!

Other, more enlightened societies, encourage their citizens to travel by giving more vacation time, and wages to enable travel. The US is so backward.

That will only be changed by our demanding that it be changed, and the US grow up and join the rest of the world.

Kanary

[Sugarbleus]

22. What a thoroughly fascinating thread!!

I've never been outside of the US. I always dreamed that I might be able to. I'm very interested in other cultures and societies...

Judging ONLY by media input and through readings, the places all of you describe and the cultural shock upon returning sounds spot on. I'm sure I'd feel the same way. Heck, I've always had a feeling that this place is going waaaaaaaaaay too fast and furious--not enough time to simply enjoy one's existence.

If I could, I'd happily move away to one of the fair places each of you describe. *sigh*

Thanks for posting this; very interesting.

[Tansy_Gold]

24. My husband and I met in a bar in Torremolinos, Spain

He was in the navy, I was escaping a morbid suburban existence in Chicago.

That was 35 years ago, and we still compare life "here" to life "there" -- even though both have undoubtedly changed -- and "there" wins out almost every time.

My parents couldn't understand this. They couldn't even imagine anyone wanting to go outside the U.S., except maybe Canada or California ;-). Then they had an opportunity to go to Europe, and they finally understood.

This thread has been very good therapy for me. I think it's time to start divesting myself of a lot of accumulated junk and contemplate some changes.

[flygal]

23. I live in Europe ....

And return to the States a few times a year. The hardest thing is getting used to seeing the huge SUV's. It takes a few days to adjust to everything being so big and spread out.

Agree with someone above - most people don't give a shit about your experience overseas. They just don't relate.

[TahitiNut]

26. The only people who seem to be interested ...

... are those others who've also traveled abroad - and some of those are only interested in 'one-upsmanship story-telling.' I personally love having somewhat in-depth conversations with other folks who've lived elsewhere. People all over the world live their lives with differing daily paradigms - assumptions, models, habits, rules, and myths. I find this fascinating in its impact on our ability to communicate and engage in problem-solving. I thought it somewhat strange that I felt more 'at home' in France (and perhaps Switzerland) than in England, Scotland, Germany, Belgium, Italy, or the Netherlands. For some strange reason, I adapted to the ephemeral, personal daily paradigms in France more readily than elsewhere, even in an English-speaking country.

[knitter4democracy]

27. It always took me twice as long as I was away to get back

Reverse culture shock is terrible. I hated my country for awhile after each trip, and always took at least twice as long as I was away to really get back to normal. After a semester in Russia, I took forever to get back. That was the hardest time.