Free Rapture email alerts

[Kiteflyer]

Sign yourself up here; then if you miss the Rapture, you'll get an email alert (No kidding).

http://www.raptureletters.com/index.html

[Tesibria]

1. uhm. I have a question...

what hardy soul has agreed to remain a sinner and get left behind in order to send the email out?

[dweller]

2. That would be me

and i have first dibs on all the stereo equipment.

dp

[Gold Metal Flake]

9. Hands off the tube stuff, Dweller.

Grrr!

[dweller]

16. We're going to have one Kickass Concert

with all of the components 'left behind' , wired together into a sound machine.

first up, Richie Haven's "Freedom/Motherless Child" circa Woodstock on a loop. That ought to drive any fundies left hanging on off the edge of the flat Earth.
then Dylan's "Maggie's Farm" at eardrum bleeding volume.

ah, the possibilities are endless. Taking requests.
dp

[txindy]

15. Well, that was absolutely

hilarious!

[pschoeb]

11. Well they would need a non rapturists just for the programming

Because rapturists are too stupid to program computers. I bet the guy made out like a bandit, selling them overpriced GPS devices that supposedly transmit the rapturists position back to the main server, if there is a large scale disappearance of rapturists GPS signal, out goes the e-mail. Of course the GPS devices are really just old altered little transistor radios, but the rapturists won't know ;)

[crispini]

3. That's the funniest fuckin thing I've ever seen.

[blackcat77]

4. Does heaven have cable or dialup?

"dear hellbound heathen:

wish u were here? O8)

ha ha

Angelo"

[helnwhls]

5. so not only do you go to heaven

but you get to rub it in the faces of all those damned sinners who would not listen to you.

That's mighty Xtian. :P

[Lady Effingbroke]

6. Thanks for the heads up!

Wouldn't want to sleep through it or anything. Plus ya gotta watch out for flying naked fundies - it could be hazardous if they start falling out of the sky!

[LisaLynne]

7. Flying Naked Fundies ...

Is SO the name of my next band. :)

[Nikepallas]

8. Okay I got a VERY sick sense of humor

This is only ment as a joke not to be done for real


Read the letters and got a good laugh then I started thinking What if someone managed to hack into that system to start sending out those letters and those Friends and Family members names on that list started to get those e-mails and started calling those people who put them on the list.

Friend/Family: " Fundie, Are you really there?"

Fundie: "Yes, I am what is wrong?"

Friend/Family: "I got this e-mail stating you where taken up to heaven-".

Fundie: "What the Rapture happened and I was not taken up?!!?

I'll let your mind go from there.

:wtf: :argh: The Fundie and family/friend :evilgrin: :shrug:

for anyone who needed a laugh

[OutsourceBush]

10. Hi, this is an automated post because I have been disappeared.

Never fear! I disappeared to Canada to get away from f*cking idiot Christian Moonies. God told me to disappear to Canada, he said they have good weed and it might be a fun place to hang out for a few years until the wacked out death-cult Christians all blow themselves up. God also told me he was sorry about Bush, he was taking a dump when Bush was being created and sh*t happens. ---END OF AUTOMATED MESSAGE---

[Baldsicle]

12. Ya'll will get a second chance..

at redemption during the Tribulation....

I wonder if there is an email alert system available for that big event!
Post a link, anybody, my soul may be in need of redemption should I fail the Rapture and get my email notification which I signed up for.

[ogsball]

13. Please Never Ever Equate belief in the Rapture

as a mainstream Christian belief. It is clearly a result of wrong reading of the Bible.

I do like the jokes though.

[GOPNotForMe]

14. I thought you were talking about the group first and got all excited!

What an unpleasant surprise!