I made peace with my Republican dad this morning

[Xenus Sister]

A little background: He's a STAUNCH Republican. Always has been, always will be. He's not a freeper-type. He doesn't watch Fox or listen to hate radio. He's a casual Lutheran and so not a fundie. Still, he would no more vote for a Democrat than cut his own leg off.

My first vote after turning 18 was for Jimmy Carter in his first run for presidency. My dad and I used to have screaming matches about that, so we just decided not to ever talk about politics or religion (I'm also an athiest). That's made for a peaceful relationship for 24 years.


Back in August, he called me on my birthday (he lives in another state) and we had a nice long talk. At the end, I couldn't help myself. I asked him what he thought of Bush. Well, that just started him off. He started going on about how Kerry was a goddamn no good liar and Edwards no better and blah blah blah. I suspected that he believed the Swift Boat Liars for Bush (they had just started up, and he lives in a very red state) and I tried to tell him that he was being lied to. He yelled "YOU'RE A DEMOCRAT?? I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU IF YOU'RE A DEMOCRAT!" and hung up on me! Jesus!

I assumed that was the end of the relationship. I hadn't done anything wrong and wasn't about to call him and make up.

Well, this morning I get a phone call and it's dad, wanting to talk politics! I couldn't believe it. He made sure I knew right at the start that he'd already voted, and of course it was for Bush. I told him how hurt I was at what he said and hanging up on me and he apologised. That's a big step for my dad, who grew up an Iowa farmboy (lives in Kansas now).

I told him I just wanted to know what it was he was so angry about, at least back in August, and asked him if it was the Swift Boat guys, and he said yes, that was part of it. I asked him if he would listen to me for a while and he said well you'll just say anything because it's your guy. I told him that hurt my feelings too. I don't overlook flaws and I don't care (well, much) if dad doesn't like Kerry. But it had to be for reasonable reasons, and not based on lies. He seemed to accept that, and I spent the next 20 minutes telling him about Nixon, John O'Neal, how what Kerry said in his testimony was taken out of context, how all the others have been systematically discredited, and my thoughts on why they were doing this to Kerry. He didn't say so, but I think I changed his mind about the SB Liars.

We talked for about 45 minutes. During the conversation he said 2 things that REALLY surprised me. We didn't talk about Bush, because I knew he didn't want to hear a litany of my gripes, but at one point I said "Look, I know you like Bush..." with the intention of saying something like "but Kerry is a good man and will make a good president if he wins" but dad cut me off saying "Ah, Bush is a liar!"

I was so shocked I didn't know what to say! This is a man who it took several years before admitting that Nixon might have done some bad stuff. I was dying to know what made him say that, but I didn't want to press my luck and just said "yep."

Also, he asked ME what I thought of Howard Dean! I said I liked him, and he did too!!!!! Wow! He wouldn't have voted for him, but he liked the way Dean came right out and said "what's what" and spoke his mind. I didn't ask where dad saw Dean and what he heard him saying, but if dad thought Bush was a liar, it seems as if it was Howard Dean that made him think so! Will wonders never cease.

So, I felt really good at the end of the conversation. We'd made up, and he seemed ready to accept Kerry as a president if it should go that way.

Then I went to vote...wheee!

I just had to share my story.

[Pathwalker]

1. Ahh, that is sweet! Glad to see you mend those fences -

and glad to see your Dad is seeing the light. Thanks for sharing that heartwarming story.

[Xenus Sister]

3. Thanks for reading

It's been a good day. I feel really good, and I'm leaving to go volunteer for Election Protection. I told dad I was doing that and he asked me what it was. I explained about it and why. He seemed interested.

Myabe if we hadn't disconnected in August, I might have been able to (gently) change his mind, or at least not vote for *. Maybe if he could have met Howard Dean in person...:-)

Still, he has a different outlook than he did in August, and that's a huge leap.

[ReadTomPaine]

2. These times bring out unexpected aspects of people.

I think he was tacitly acknowledging his doubts about Bush in his only acceptable outlet - a conversation with his son. You did your father proud to handle this the way you did, but now that he has opened the door, I think it's a real opportunity to do more when time and circumstances permit.

RTP

[Xenus Sister]

5. Daughter...

:-) But yeah, you're right.

[faithnotgreed]

4. good for you. communication and maturity are very difficult at times

but you did fantastic. im glad for you and for your father. sounds like he tried too even though its hard to speak feelings

and im glad he can "accept" kerry presidency cause thats exactly what were going to have!

best wishes

[GreenPartyVoter]

6. Wow! *hugs*

------------------------------------------------
Would Jesus love a liberal? You bet!
http://www.geocities.com/greenpartyvoter/

[Beer Snob-50]

7. great story!

my father and i used to have yelling matches all sthe time about politics (he died unfortunatly right around the time of clinton's presidentancy). my mother would purposely start political discussions with both of us in the room just to see what would happen. after it was done though, we would both go on to less contenous issues.

[cheezus]

8. he wouldn't have voted dean

they would have pulled a swift-boat style slander on him too

[stanwyck]

9. I'm so saddened by

my father and brother. They voted for Clinton. But they're both voting for Bush. And they don't agree with the Republicans on any issue except the war on terror. Rove and Co. really brainwashed many people with the war time president-tough on terror mantra. I am very disheartened.

[JennC]

10. So Happy for you!

When Kerry wins the fact that this conversation happened before the results will help keep communication open. Joy to you!

[sweetheart]

11. I got my dad to join up at DU

He's a low post count, but i told him to get it off his chest or
forever hold it in... and he was very happy at how he was embraced
at DU.

I'm really overjoyed to have dad on DU. (insultedVeteran)
It symbolizes the unity of our mutual respect for justice. :-)

Good luck for everyone with their dads. Love them by voting Kerry
so that the country does not go bankrupt when they need support in
coming times.