The Short Shelf-Life of Political Humor | a sigh and....?

[nostamj]

Last night I closed my 'political cabaret' show, The Question W Revue. And it doesn't matter who wins today, more than half of the content is instantly unusable.

And, I've got a hard drive packed with similar material that will instantly become stale sometime today. Like this unfinished one:

(To the tune of "Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat")

I HEARD LAST NIGHT WE WERE IN A WAR ON TERROR
WE SHOULD ALL FEAR FOR THE THREAT IS VERY STRONG
SO I HAD HOPE
THEY WERE GONNA GET OSAMA...
BUT THE PRESIDENT, HE JUST GOT IT WRONG
'CAUSE THE BUSHIES ALL SAID: SADDAM,
SADDAM WE'LL SAY IT AGAIN

THE BUSHIES ALL SAID SADDAM
SADDAM HE GETS THE BLAME

HE'S A DEVIL WITH DEADLY GASES
GOES THE LAME REFRAIN OF THEIR TIRED SONG
SADDAM, SADDAM, SADDAM
SADDAM WE'LL SAY IT AGAIN

Of course, that's inevitable, but it's just really hitting me now. Some pieces don't (can't) last longer than a news cycle or two. As tempted as I was add things to the revue based on current events, often, by the time I had something written and ready, it was too late, the story went away. For example:

THE CHENEY CLAN - with apologies to Sammy Davis Jr.

WHO CAN FAKE AN OUTRAGE
WITH A TAWDRY LIE
MAKING UP AN ISSUE
THAT THEIR FUNDIE BASE WILL BUY?

THE CHENEY CLAN, OH THE CHENEY CLAN CAN
THE CHENEY CLAN CAN 'CAUSE
THEY LOVE TO TWIST THE TRUTH
AND MAKE THE LEFT LOOK BAD

DADDY'S TALKING DIRTY
MOMMY'S WRITING SMUT
WHO THINKS THE WORD 'LESBIAN'S
ANOTHER WORD FOR SLUT?

THE CHENEY CLAN, OH THE CHENEY CLAN CAN
THE CHENEY CLAN CAN 'CAUSE
THEY LOVE TO TWIST THE TRUTH
AND MAKE THE LEFT LOOK BAD

THE CHENEY CLAN'S BLITZ AND THEIR ANGRY FITS
SO POLITICALLY MOTIVATED
RICK SANTORUM THINKS SHE SHOULD BE HATED
BUT YOU WERE NOT AGGRAVATED.

OH, ALAN KEYES CAN DISS HER
IN A NASTY WAY
WHO IGNORES A SLUR
BECAUSE IT CAN'T BE USED TO SWAY?

THE CHENEY CLAN, OH THE CHENEY CLAN CAN
THE CHENEY CLAN CAN 'CAUSE
THEY LOVE TO TWIST THE TRUTH
AND MAKE THE LEFT LOOK BAD

THE CHENEY CLAN PLAYS HARDBALL EVERY DAY
WITH HYPOCRISY THAT'S SHAMELESS
REPUBLICANS ARE ALWAYS BLAMELESS
EVEN WHILE THEY MAKE THE SAME MESS

WHO THINKS GREED'S A GOOD THING?
WHO PROFITS FROM THE WAR?
WHO SHILLS FOR THE RIGHT WING
LIKE A TWENTY DOLLAR WHORE?

THE CHENEY CLAN, OH THE CHENEY CLAN CAN
THE CHENEY CLAN CAN 'CAUSE
THEY LOVE TO TWIST THE TRUTH
AND MAKE THE LEFT LOOK BAD

YES, THE CHENEY CLAN CAN 'CAUSE
THEY LOVE TO TWIST THE TRUTH
AND MAKE THE LEFT LOOK BAD.....

Now, it would be "Mary who?"

I don't believe that * has a chance to win--based on reports of voter turnout at this point (3:30 EST). And frankly, I'm not sure I could find anything very funny about a second bush term anyway.

Then I got to thinking about ALL the bush-humor sites out there. What happens to all that energy?

For that matter, what happens here? What happens with no * to chase?

ON THE RUN (To the tune of "Still the One")

YOU TOOK THE COUNTRY WITH DIRTY TRICKS
THIS TIME IT'S YOUR TURN TO TAKE A FEW KICKS
WE'VE BEEN ENRAGED NOW FOR A LONG, LONG TIME
YOU'RE ON THE RUN AND YOU WILL NOT MAKE THE CLIMB

YOU'RE ON THE RUN, WEARING YOUR GOP FROWNS
ON THE RUN, A BUNCH OF CLOWNS
WE HAVE NOT YET WON, BUT YOU'RE ON THE RUN

LOSERS LIKE YOU DON'T GET TO BE KINGS
YOU'RE A PNAC PUPPET, TIME TO CUT YOUR STRINGS
WATCHING YOU SWEAT, AS YOU'RE FORCED OFF SCRIPT
OOPS, THOSE EXPLOSIVES!, I BET YOU WERE PISSED.

YOU'RE ON THE RUN WITH HATE AND FEAR
ONE THE RUN WITH YOUR LIES MADE CLEAR
WE HAVE NOT YET WON, BUT YOU'RE ON THE RUN
WE HAVE NOT YET WON, BUT YOU'RE ON THE RUN

YOU'RE ON THE RUN I HEAR THE FEAR IN YOUR VOICE
ON THE RUN, WE'LL SOON REJOICE
WE HAVE NOT YET WON, BUT YOU'RE ON THE RUN

FLAILING, YOUR LINES ARE GROWING STALE
THE WIND AT OUR BACK, NOW A GALE
YOU'RE ON THE RUN AND YOUR EDGE IS GONE
ON THE RUN FROM A MAN NAMED JOHN
WE HAVE NOT YET WON, BUT YOU'RE ON THE RUN

YOU'RE ON THE RUN WITH THAT ZANY ZELL
ON THE RUN, HEADING STRAIGHT TO HELL
WE HAVE NOT YET WON, BUT YOU'RE ON THE RUN

YOU ARE ON THE RUN SO PLEASE LET ME SHOUT
ON THE RUN, THAT'S WITHOUT A DOUBT
WE HAVE NOT YET WON, BUT YOU'RE ON THE RUN...

[babylonsister]

1. Nostamj, you've entertained and enlightened me

since I discovered DU, and for that I'm grateful and appreciative. I'll just bet there will be folks out there that need a smack, Hassert and Frist come to mind, but you're right about all that incredible energy that has been put into this election, by so many people!
PS The Sammy Davis song is 'Candyman'? Great stuff!

[nostamj]

2. thanks and yes, of course, the song is CANDYMAN

THE ABU GHRAIB FAMILY SINGERS PRESENT:
"Our Favorite American Songs"

THANKS FOR THE SODOMY
(To the tune of “Thanks For The Memory”)

THANKS FOR THE SODOMY
WHILE WE WERE COLD AND WET
YOU HAD A CIGARETTE.
THE INTERNET
WILL NOT FORGET
THE PRESIDENT’S “REGRET”
WE THANK YOU, SO MUCH

AND THANKS FOR THE BROOMSTICK PROBE
YOU MADE US FIRST DISROBE,
WE’VE BEEN SEEN ‘ROUND THE GLOBE
WE THOUGHT HOODS AND ELECTRODES
SURE MADE A CHIC WARDROBE
HOW CLASSY, YOU WERE

WHILE YOU ABUSED EACH TABOO
WE WERE AFRAID FOR OUR LIVES
NOW YOU CAN GIVE RUSH YOUR HIGH-FIVES–
NOTHING MEAN, JUST BLOWING OFF STEAM

AND THANKS, FOR THE PHOTO OP
OF STANDING ON A BOX
WHILE YOU POINTED AT OUR COCKS
WE WEREN’T DEFILED BY PIGGY PILES
BECAUSE YOUR SMILES INSIST
IT WAS JUST “FRAT PRANKS”

THANKS FOR MY NEW NIGHTMARES
ALTHOUGH SADDAM HUSSEIN
SEEMED TO BE INSANE
YOUR "LIBERTY"
IS NEW TO ME
I WISH YOU WOULD EXPLAIN
HOW LUCKY WE ARE...

[Straight Shooter]

3. nostamj, channeling the stream of the collective unconsciousness

and then processing it and letting us all tune in to what's really going down in the naked soul of the world.

[nostamj]

4. or,

nostamj, being a wiseass with a good rhyming dictionary!

;-)

thanks! glad you like the stuff. here's another obsolete ditty:

To the tune of “Paperback Writer” (and with apologies to the Beatles)

FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR

I HEARD THE RIGHT WING AND THEIR LATEST SPIN
SAYING KERRY WAFFLES AND THAT’S SUCH A SIN
IT’S BASED ON THE FAXES FROM A MAN NAMED ROVE
BUT TO KEEP HIS JOB, BUSH HAS GOT TO BE A FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR
FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR

EV’RY PHONY PROMISE, EV’RY PHONY CLAIM
THEY WRAP IN A FLAG AND A PHONY NAME
SO HE GIVES SPEECHES TO THE BUSSED-IN CROWDS
IT’S NO EASY JOB, BECAUSE BUSH IS SUCH A FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR
FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR
FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR

WHILE THEIR TAX CUT SCAM RAISED THE DEFICIT
THEY’RE ALL SO RICH, THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT
AND THEY’RE MAKING PROFITS OFF THEIR DIRTY WAR
SO BE A PATRIOT, AND JUST CALL BUSH A FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR
FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR

IF YOU DARE CROSS THEM, THEY’LL EXPOSE YOUR WIFE
IF THEY CLAIM THEY’RE HELPING JUST EXPECT MORE STRIFE
WHILE YOU COUNT THE CHILDREN WHO GET LEFT BEHIND
PASS THE KOOL-AID UP AND REMEMBER HE’S A FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR
FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR
FLIP-FLOPPING LIAR

[nostamj]

5. my latest "rapid response" parody!

THE JUDY WOODRUFF SONG (To the tune of "Judy's Turn To Cry")

LET'S ALL WATCH JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
HER BOY BUSHIE'S A ONE TERM FLOP

OH, WHEN JUDY TURNS IN ALL HER KNEEPADS
AND ADMITS THE BIG KERRY WIN
I'LL STAND UP AND LAUGH MY ASS OFF
FINALLY FREE OF HER SPIN!

LET'S ALL WATCH JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
HER BOY BUSHIE'S A ONE TERM FLOP

WHILE SHE AND CANDY WOULD SNEER WITH CONVICTION
I WANTED TO SLAP THEM DOWN
BUT A WAVE WILL SOON ENGULF THEM
EXPOSING TWO PARTISAN CLOWNS

LET'S ALL WATCH JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
HER BOY BUSHIE'S A ONE TERM FLOP

(Instrumental Break)

OH, POOR JUDY DRANK WAY TOO MUCH KOOL-ADE
SO MUCH IT MADE HER QUITE SICK
SHE'S QUEASY, DEPRESSED, UNEASY...
'CAUSE OUR TURNOUT TURNED THE TRICK!

LET'S ALL WATCH JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
HER BOY BUSHIE'S A ONE TERM FLOP

LET'S ALL WATCH JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
JUDY WOODRUFF CRY
JUDY WOODRUFF CRY

(Fade Out)