Mystery Surrounds Secession on Left Coast -- Breaking

[autorank]

http://www.pocho.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=news;action=display;num=1099588850


Mystery Surrounds Secession on Left Coast

by Vete A. Lachingada and April Primera-Temprana
C/S Writers

4 minutes ago

In a move that caught political leaders off guard, parts of California today seceded from the United States, forming the Democratic Republic of the Californias and Nueva Aztlán. The new nation, which has not yet been recognized by the United Nations, is comprised of San Francisco and Los Angeles counties, plus contiguous territory from Indio south along the Salton Sea to Calexico. In a simultaneous action, Baja California Norte seceded from the United Mexican States to join the new nation.

Prickident-elect Shrub has ordered troops to mass at the Arizona border awaiting orders to launch an invasion should negotiations with secession leaders grow protracted. "You're either with us or agin' us," Mr. Shrub reminded, adding, "I will use nucular weapons if necessary."

In Washington, DC, FBI spokesperson Missy P. Tang denied any US responsibility for the naval artillery barrage that hit Cromwell Field on the USC campus. NCAA officials denied that USC would lose its number one ranking, but admitted the school would find it difficult to field a team with over 80% casualties from the morning attack on the team's practice facilities from the USS Oklahoma anchored in Santa Monica Bay. "Think of it as Vieques, only different," Ms. Tang said.

Poland announced it has recognized the new nation.

Still unclear is the full extent of the action and exactly who its leaders are. No communiqués have been received since Attorney General Asscrap ordered the notorious Pocho board shut down for sedition and uppityness.

Reprinted w/permission


Corporate America controls the media and we get manufactured news.
Corporate America now controls the voting machines and we get manufactured elections.

http://www.blackboxvoting.org/

[acmavm]

1. Funny, but I think that there's people on both coasts seriously giving

this idea some consideration.

[calico1]

4. I agree.

Here is something someone posted on another message board I read. My apologies if it has been posted already. It sums up pretty well how I feel:

American Coastopia!
11/2/04
Author unknown

Ladies and gentlemen, you needn't fret anymore. We have decided that we
can't live in the United States anymore, because there IS no united anything, and
because so many of you in the "heartland" are so full of shit. We were all
going to move to various other countries, but then we thought - why should WE
move? Maybe YOU should all move to a place where your war-mongering
religious fervor can be cultivated and appreciated...like Iraq.

We are tired of rednecks in Oklahoma picking the leader who will determine
if it is safe for us to cross the Brooklyn Bridge. We are sick of homophobic
knuckle-draggers in Wyoming contributing to the national debate on gay
marriages...people who would rather have men killing other men rather than men
kissing other men. So we have done the only thing we could.

We seceded.

May I present to you: AMERICAN COASTOPIA.


That's right, American Coastopia. The states of Washington, Oregon and
California are joining us on one coast, and we will provide for all of New
England. In the middle of the country, we have taken Iowa and Illinois, mostly
because we need the fine produce of Iowa's soil, and the museums in Chicago are
fabulous.

What's with the other dots? Oh yes, we're taking Chapel Hill and Durham,
North Carolina too. I'm not going to live in a country without the Tar Heels.
(And Duke? You're being moved to Greensboro, just like Wake Forest was. Sorry!
Assholes.)

The other dot is New Orleans, which you don't deserve. American Coastopia
needs a place to gamble, and the locals want nothing to do with you.

Sure, you can visit, but it isn't part of your country anymore. I can sense
your worry. Who will get all the banks? You can f*cking have most of them,
because we're taking downtown and midtown Manhattan back, turning the whole
thing into a giant artist colony replete with movie studios and progressive
think tanks. Wall Street and other financial institutions will be relocated to
Charlotte, which we believe will suit your needs better. Frankly, the good
folks in Manhattan are sick of being a terrorist target for your benefit.

A word about our politics. Abortions will be safe and legal in American
Coastopia, and homosexual men and women will be free to marry at their
discretion. We will have our own currency, and trade with any countries we want.
Everyone will have health care. Everyone will
have an identity card. Homelessness and unemployment will be virtually
unknown. We believe in a meritocracy and a huge chasm between church and
state. 100% of our cars will be hybrid by 2006.

Yes, we're taking all the people that ever created everything beautiful.
Yes, we're taking all the funny people too. All the sculptors, architects,
surgeons, philosophers, violinists and fishermen. You should have treated them
better when you had them.

We have no pledge of allegiance, but I can say this: I am no longer from
your United States of America. I belong to American Coastopia, the United States
of MY friends, the Nation of Two: my wife and I. We
hold our noses as we fly over you. We are sickened by the way you treat
people that are different from you in the name of a God you claim to know. The
rest of the world despises America, and we despise you for making that so. We
don't want to be lumped in with you anymore. We are not you.

Please, all of you who went to bed last night sick with worry, come to us.
In American Coastopia, the light is always on, the hazelnut lattés are always
hot, and we have a trundle bed for each and every one of you

[Ellen Forradalom]

9. Thank goodness they took Illinois

so I don't have to move.

And there are more reasons to take Iowa than its produce. There's Prairie Lights Books and Grinnell College.

[wildflower]

10. But what about Arnold and other Republican gov's of dem states?

Would they/could they allow it?

-wildflower

[Union Thug]

2. Vote Washington in, too.

I'd vote to secede without hesitation.

[seabeyond]

3. the fucked thing though, reading this , lmao

i had to keep telling myself this is a joke

[autorank]

5. It's the news a few months in advance! Author is an eccentric genius!

Corporate America controls the media and we get manufactured news.
Corporate America now controls the voting machines and we get manufactured elections.

http://www.blackboxvoting.org/

[are_we_united_yet]

6. Damn.

You just crashed my high.

:)

[NV Whino]

7. What most people in the "bread basket" of the country

don't realize is California supplies something like 80% of the country's food.

Now, there's food for thought.

[ComerPerro]

8. Bush would invade, to liberate the people of the seceeded area

And, by liberate, I mean in the same way he liberated the Iraqis.

Kill most of them.