All right class-SETTLE DOWN!-Today's lesson is on "Creationist Science"

[underpants]

My wife and I were wondering about this when we heard of the textbook controversy in Georgia. So I looked it up. It is a great (GOD like if you will)science where you start with an answer and work backwards looking for ANYTHING that will stick to it-gee doesn't THAT sound familiar?

For simplicity's sake let one FAQ start you on your learnings.

WHERE DO THE FOSSILS OF DINOSAURS AND OTHER EXTINCT ANIMALS FIT INTO THE BIBLE RECORD?

Read the whole thing (take aspirin before doing that) but here is where they get to the heart of the question

According to the Bible, death did not even “enter the world” until after Adam’s sin (Romans 5:12). And the fossil record, more than anything else, is a record of death—in fact, of sudden death—and on a worldwide scale!

At the end of the creation period (Genesis 1:31), God pronounced everything in the whole universe “very good.” Thus the struggling, groaning creation (Romans 8:22) everywhere evident in the fossil record must be dated Biblically as occurring after man’s sin and God’s curse on man’s dominion (Genesis 3:15). And this can only mean that most of the sedimentary rocks of the earth’s crust, with their fossils, were laid down during the awful year of the great Flood, when “every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground” (Genesis 7:23).

This must have included the dinosaurs and all other terrestrial animals, except those preserved in Noah’s ark. Evidence is available (in the form of human and dinosaur footprints in the same formation, of dinosaur pictographs left by primitive tribes in Africa and North America, and of the universally prevalent traditions of dragons among ancient peoples) that dinosaurs lived contemporaneously with early man. The geologic column, rightly interpreted, therefore, does not tell of a long, gradual evolution of life over the geologic ages, but rather its polar opposite—the rapid extinction of life as a result of God’s judgment on the antediluvians when “the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished” (2 Peter 3:6).

http://www.icr.org/bible/bhta43.html

[WMliberal]

1. are we at American Eagle Christian High School?

I about fell off the couch when I saw "Saved"'s classroom posters. They had one of creationism and another giant poster of *.

[underpants]

4. "Well you mother has her Missionary position..."

We just watched "Saved" this weekend. Howlingly funny at the beginning and very pointed at the end. VERY good movie.

Produced by Michael Stipe (REM) if you didn't see that at the beginning.

[freedom_to_read]

I find Bishop Usher's argument more convincing

Q: Why are there fossils of dinosaurs?

A: Because God put them there.

Q: Why did God put them there?

A: To test your faith.

End of discussion.

Head, meet wall. Bang, bang, bang.

[ProfessorPlum]

2. I've been told that certain fundie homeschooling materials

indicate that dinosaurs - T. Rex, Triceratops, etc. - were present on Noah's Ark.

I've also been told by seemingly intelligent co-workers in the field of drug discovery that they don't see any evidence for evolution.

wild stuff.

[Worst Username Ever]

3. Well, they' convinced me.

I see absolutely no reason why the bible isn't exactly, 100% correct. And to think this whole time I've been relying on science! Idiocy!

[underpants]

5. "We did everything the Bible told us to do even the parts ....

that contradicted the other parts. We even ate Kosher to be on the safe side"-Ned Flanders

[sui generis]

6. to hell with the fossil record

We know that light moves at a constant speed. We know that there are stars, and that they are by and large relatively far away from us, and certainly farther than the distance light can travel in 6000 years. We also know from chemistry that the reactions in a star take longer than 6000 years to condense and ignite from a dense cloud of gases, and from spectroscopic examination we know the relative age of most stars, including our own, which is considerably older than 6000 years. In spite of all this we're supposed to to put aside all the evidence and scientific underpinnings of "age" of the universe and go with a fairy tale instead, just because some whacko tried to explain the universe for a bunch of shepherds and farmers two thousand years ago in terms that they might understand.

Actually, the real indisputable proof that god exists is when you lose your car keys and pray that you'll find them and then you do. /sarcasm

[underpants]

7. There seems to be quite a discussion on light and stars at that site

also.

I'll give them this they sat down a came up with a story for pretty much everything.....but then they had the answer to everything in front of them already didn't they?

http://www.icr.org/bible/bhta43.html

[ballcap1776]

25. surfed a bit. here's a scary quote...

Evolution is accepted as fact by a majority of scientists, but one should remember that scientific principles are not established by majority vote.

okay, I've decided that political prinicples are not established by majority vote (or slightly more than the other guy vote), so KERRY WINS!

[charlie]

27. Well, that's true in a sense

But they certainly aren't established by measuring their fidelity to stories in a 2000-year-old book.

[freedom_to_read]

9. you don't understand

God made the universe look like it was billions of year old, in order to test your faith.

God made your brain capable of thinking those thoughts, of coming up with reasonable hypotheses to explain the observable world. But he also made Southern Baptists to tell you not to think that way because it's not in the Bible. It's all a way of testing your faith.

Guess God doesn't have anything better to do. ;)

[sui generis]

11. he helped me find my car keys

too bad he didn't do anything to help his chosen people in 1945. I guess even He has priorities.

[uncle ray]

31. that "God" is some sick fucker i tell ya.

i'd like to have a few words with him/her/it.

[ret5hd]

15. yeah, their god is quite the trickster, isn't he?

scientist standing before god: (slapping knee, tears of laughter on faced) Oh, you got me that time! I didn't see that comin'! Oh, god, you da MAN! Gimme five!


on edit : so god is the celestial version of "Punked", huh?

[BiggJawn]

19. And GAWD sez, "you liked that one, huh?..."

"Then..."

[ret5hd]

24. oh man...think what a "god fart" would be like...

probably turn you into a pillar of salt or somethin'.

[BiggJawn]

30. Worse....

[charlie]

8. Oy

They're not even trying to shoehorn their "theories" into a scientific framework anymore. Just lard it with Biblical assertions, call it scientific, and they're done.

Their take on the newly-discovered Flores Man:

Three-foot tall individuals do not mean an evolutionary throwback. We have humans today of a reduce stature (dwarfs). Furthermore, evidence from Indonesia indicates that Flores Man could organize hunts, make stone tools and had the ability to make fire.

This guy doesn't seem to be aware that dwarves aren't proportionately small, their heads and torsos are comparable to full-sized adults. Nor do they have 1/4 to 1/3 normal brain sizes. Yech.

[underpants]

14. Like I said above they have an answer for everything

It might not be a correct answer but it is an answer just the same.

Yes that is quite incredible. They work fast don't they?

[Huckebein the Raven]

10. I have a question:

So do viruses become resistant to antibiotics because they pray to their "viral" god to smite the "godless" antibiotics ?

-Just asking since we are talking about "Creationist" Science.

[freedom_to_read]

12. Another question about viruses

Did Noah bring 2 of each onto his ark?

[Huckebein the Raven]

13. LOL. I'm wondering that myself. That must

be one helluva of an ark.

[underpants]

16. Answers on AIDS and Anthrax and how the Bible covered that too

http://www.icr.org/bible/bhta150.html

Not only will the plague of AIDS grow worse if there is no repentance, but there may be other more severe plagues yet to come. At least we know that this principle will prevail in the coming Tribulation period. In that dreadful day to come, a succession of judgments will be visited by God on the earth, seeking to call men to repentance. But instead of repenting, it is said that “the rest of the men which were not killed by these plagues yet repented not of the works of their hands, . . . Neither repented they of their murders (think of the awful wave of murder by abortion already engulfing the world), nor of their sorceries (a Greek word implying use of hallucinatory drugs), nor of their fornication, nor of their thefts (hardly anyone dares any more to walk the streets at night or leave doors unlocked)” (Revelation 9:20, 21). Therefore, it is prophesied, God will send yet more plagues on this ungodly society of the future (but can it be much worse than ours?). Yet, even then, the frightful testimony is that “they gnawed their tongues for pain, and blasphemed the God of heaven because of their pains and their sores, and repented not of their deeds” (Revelation 16:10, 11).

We may not be able to conclude dogmatically that AIDS is a divine judgment, but Biblical parallels surely make it a subject worth serious consideration.


http://www.icr.org/pubs/imp/imp-345.htm

[freedom_to_read]

21. so if I may follow the logic here...

... then a woman who is unknowingly infected with AIDS by her husband or boyfriend is being punished by God in order to make the world repent? A baby born with AIDS is being punished because of abortions?


"If God is God, he is not good;
if God is good, he is not God"
--Archibald MacLeash, "J.B."

[hatrack]

23. Or this - was light refrangible before the Flood?

Cuz after all, if that was the first rainbow ever seen . . . .

[DrWeird]

17. Arguing with Creationists is pointless.

The whole "but what about dinosaur fossils" gets you no where. It's like getting in a heated debate about whether or not the Earth is flat. Instead, they should just be mocked and ridiculed.

[underpants]

18. Now you just hold on there buddy

Are you saying the Earth ISN'T flat?

:bounce:

[freedom_to_read]

22. it's burrito-shaped, actually

[Huckebein the Raven]

26. Does it still rest on the back of a turtle ? eom

[underpants]

Oh

but that sort of screws up the whole immigration argument the other Republicans doesn't it?

[greekspeak]

20. Answer to one of your questions

WHERE DO THE FOSSILS OF DINOSAURS AND OTHER EXTINCT ANIMALS FIT INTO THE BIBLE RECORD?

Isn't it funny how, as the apparently millions of animals per square mile died in the flood and the bodies piled up, they managed to sort themselves? One would expect dinosaur bones, dog bones, fish bones, human bones, trilobites, an wooly mammoths to all be intermixed in a single layer in the earth's crust. But this is not the case. Like animals appear in the fossil record together. Then they stop and give way to other animals in higher layers. Bring this up to a creationist and watch them quiver. There is no way to explain this using creationist science.

Further, I think any physicist and geologist worth their salt would laugh at some of the other amazing nonsense creationist science insists upon. For instance, they have to account for continental drift . What happened was the "fountains of the deep" opened up with such force that contenants went flying across the face of the planet like frisbies. I think if forces so great as these were to be exerted on Earth, the planet would have been rent into pieces and would now be an asteroid field. Silly creationists....creationism is for Sunday School, not Public school!

[underpants]

28. Actually both

See the dinosaurs, wooly mammoths, humans, dogs, and fish were all taking a Sunday school class photo* and were organized by heighth when the flood hit so they fell over that way and the mud filled in the openings.

*please use this answer as proof that yes indeed the dinosaurs et al were indeed Christians as all things SHOULD BE but ignore the fact that these church going Christians should have been saved from the flood.

That is all.

[greekspeak]

29. Very funny!

:-)