Obese People Unite!

[buckettgirl]

I have seen some stereotypes on here today that, frankly, have pissed me off.
I'm obese, fat, whatever you wanna say.
I am 6ft tall and I weigh just over 300lbs.
I didn't ask for this. I am not lazy or stupid. In fact, I am very educated and well read in nutrition and exercise. I don't drink regular pop, I don't eat fast food, I don't eat everything I see. I am sick and tired of seeing that people think that fat people are fat because they wanna be! No one wants to be fat. I grew up fat, genetics played a part, but my parents didn't enforce good lifestyle habits either. Now I am were I am, trying to change my size for my health (not for society) and nothing seems to work.
I am tired of getting dirty looks, being discriminated against, and being stereotyped among the stupid and lazy in this country.
It isn't a simple as "eat a salad" or "go for a walk". For those of you that think so, take a walk in my shoes before you open your mouth. Don't you dare talk to me about will-power until you have been through it yourself.
If you are obese, speak up with me! Discrimination against the obese is highly prevelent, but no one ever really hears of it, probably because most think we are dumb and deserve it. Help me prove otherwise!

[candy]

1. I'm with you and I've never been obese-----

because of my genetic makeup.I take no credit whatsoever.

I'll back you up all of the way.

Another thing I'd like to see people shut about about is baldness.Who the hell gives people the right to laugh or make fun of at someone else.

[wryter2000]

3. Baldness

Ooooh, don't get my started. How many wonderful men couldn't run for President because they didn't have hair on their heads? Only military heroes (McCain, Eisenhower, John Glenn) can get away with being bald and running for high office. It's disgusting.

BTW, I'm a female and not bald.

[candy]

5. I'm female too and old enough to remember Adlai Stevenson----

another "hair challenged" hero of mine.

[wryter2000]

6. "The thinking man's candidate"

Another kiss of death.

When are we going to stop giving a fig about a candidate's physical appearance? Never, I guess.

[candy]

7. Yep,he was great,and a phenomenal speaker.

[NikolaTeslaRocks]

137. Baldness and obese

I am not obese but my husband is about 40 lbs overweight and miserable. He doesnt eat that much but needs to exercise more.
He is also bald, lol. Sometimes he is very appealing. I wish he would lose some weight because he could lose his career if his weight ever caused him certain health issues.

I wish there was something that would work for him. I know somethign will work but I dont know what it is. It is frustrating seeing him trying to lose the extra weight when other people eat more than he does and are smaller.

[Goldmund]

143. Hey, Nikola Tesla DOES rock!

Welcome to DU

[wryter2000]

2. You're so right

First of all, the expectations for thinness are ridiculous.

Second, saying "you overeat" is simply restating the problem. Different bodies are programmed to have different amounts of fat on them. If you try to change that (in either direction -- thinner or fatter), your body fights.

If you're large enough to create health problems or make yourself uncomfortable, you should talk to your doctor about it. It's no one else's business.

I'm not really large now, but no one would want to look at me naked. (Except my husband.) I look a little like the fertility symbol avatar (a bit thinner). I honestly believe that if I'd let myself be the weight my body wanted all these years (plump) instead of constant dieting, I'd be plump now and not even close to being large.

[buckettgirl]

4. Absolutely!

I'm only 23 years old, and battling this. This is largest I have ever been. In fact, when I was at around 245, I looked pretty good... and that wasn't very long ago. If I knew then (when I was a teenager, and a size 18) what I know now about health and nutrition/exercise, I would have paid more attention to what I did to my body. It still would have been an uphill battle, with my genetics being against me, but it would have been easier than it is now. My goal is only to be healthy and have maybe a Marilyn Monroe body (boy was she beautiful), not the stick skinny, anorexic looking body that society thinks is beautiful.

[NightTrain]

8. I'm a chubby guy myself.

And I stand with you!!!

[knowbody0]

9. skinny woman speaks out

in high school i was 5'6" 135 lbs. at 18 i went on the pill, lost 25 lbs, my hips and my boobies. i am a stick woman. it is the reverse of your condition, but people feel free to yell "god! you are skinny"
inside i am a giant. inside i want to slap them down. i've spent the last 35 years this size unable to change it. we are what we are. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Shopaholic]

10. I was on steroids for a prolonged period of time

and I gained a lot of weight--I've gone up three dress sizes. I was never skinny or anything like that, just average. Now I'm not and I'm not happy about it. And now being over 40, it's very, very, very hard to take it off. But I am trying very hard to do so. And I've seen fat-bashing on this board and it's not pretty. I'm still the same person at a size 16 that I was when I was a size 8. People should think very long and hard before they bash someone based on their size. I don't object to bashing someone because they're idiots but not because they're simply overweight.

[buckettgirl]

13. exactly!

some people on here don't get that. being fat doesn't = being an idiot. Some idiots happen to be fat as well. Don't lump all us together. It simply isn't true!

[buckettgirl]

11. Weight challenged people unite

No sarcasm here. I know it must feel like a curse to you. Just as you wish you could gain weight, that is my curse. Of course, I have said before, I wish I could have that problem (not being able to gain weight)... butI know I really don't. I just want to look normal, to feel normal - as I am sure you do.
It isn't fair that people are ignorant and yell harassing comments to either morbidly obese, or the very skinny. This problem is too prevelant and we must make it known if we are ever going to change it.

[wryter2000]

21. Your problem is just as real as a larger person's problem

We see less complaint about skinny people because the world expects us to be skinny. Models, Calista Flockhart, etc. But the truth is it's as hard to change your weight up as it is to change it down.

Your body is what it wants to be, and woe unto you if you try to fight. It can be done, but it's very hard. No way is it "Just cut down on calories."

[sangh0]

60. You are normal!!!

I just want to look normal, to feel normal - as I am sure you do.

I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but your concerns are exactly what makes you normal. You're not perfect, and you have concerns relating to that.

It proves you're a human, a NORMAL and imperfect human.

[Doohickie]

63. I'm gonna start South Beach soon.... maybe we should all do it together?

Some people from my church did South Beach with wonderful results. From what you say, you've tried different things. Have you tried South Beach?

[630111]

156. The question we should be asking SOME people...

...does "tolerance" include us larger people?

[Pithlet]

87. Okay

As a person who's been skinny most of her life, I know what you mean about the comments. But, I don't think this post was a condemnation of skinny people.

[Coyote_Bandit]

12. You're Right

I'm about 5'6" and weigh about 225. I eat a semi-vegetarian diet (vegetarian diet with baked or grilled fish or fowl two or three times a week) and I spend somewhere between six and twelve hours a week at the gym depending on other obligations. A typical workout at the gym for me includes 15 minutes on the elliptical cross-trainer, 30 minutes on the treadmill, 15 to 30 minutes on the stepper and 3 sets of 10 reps at about 20 different weight stations. Easily a full two hour workout.

Much of my weight problem too is genetic. Mom's side of the family has three generations of medical history with various thyroid disorders. Mom actually had some fairly serious thyroid problems while she was pregnant with me. And I have cousins on Dad's side of the family who look at me and cry because they think I look just like Grandma - something that definitely is not a compliment.

Since I spend so much time at the gym I have had quite a bit of opportunity to observe some Barbie and Ken wannabes. And let me tell you, thin and attractive does not necessarily equate to fit and strong. And some very thin folks find it almost impossible to gain weight.

I would love to find a safe, healthy way to shed some pounds. But I think I am being reasonably responsible and disciplined with respect to both diet and exercise. Something which does not always make me feel better about other folks attitudes and preconceptions.

[buckettgirl]

15. You sound like you are healthy though.

I saw a program on the Learning Channel that had to do with being fat and fit. It is possible. As long as you feel good and don't give up, you are doing your body good and keeping your heart healthy. Even if the pounds don't come off, you are still doing your body a favor by giving your it a workout and strengthening your muscles. Don't give up! :yourock:

[Coyote_Bandit]

18. Still

I keep thinking that with all I do I should be losing weight and that eventually I will. Maybe. I am, after all, over 40 now. Sometimes things come a little slower these days. I guess there is always hope.

In the meantime, I can leg press 80 pounds in 3 sets of 10 which is not too bad for an old fat woman.

[Scout]

24. Don't go just by the weight on the scale!

Don't forget to look at your body fat percentage. If you're working out and building muscle, you can get heavier on the scale (muscle weighs more), but actually be losing fat.

My body fat is too high right now at about 41% ... I'd like to get it to 25% (average for a woman my age, I think) but that is a long way.

I definitely believe "fat" is a state of mind, too. I remember in high school when I weighed 145 pounds, I was told I was fat and I believed it. Goddess, I'd about kill to weigh even 175 now!

[buckettgirl]

26. don't give up

my mom keeps encouraging me to continue with my weight loss efforts because, as she says, its easier to do it when you're young than at my age (she's 52). I think your efforts will pay off. You should still be building muscle mass - so even if the scale doesn't budge, your clothes should fit better and you should look leaner. Don't give up, it will definitely be worth it in long run. Must have patience - especially with age and genetics working against you.
(i need to take my own advice! lol)

You can do more physcially, in the gym than I can! I can only go 5 minutes on the elliptical! :(

BTW, don't forget your vitamins! (i'm sure you don't)

[Coyote_Bandit]

30. You're Right

And I really am inspired by some of the senior citizens that come and work out at my gym.

Unfortunately, I do forget my vitamins sometimes. Have started leaving them out beside the microwave as a visual reminder.

[Pushed To The Left]

151. Moderation worked for me

I lost about 65 pounds last year by doing more cardio and eating in moderation. Nothing strict at all. My eating habits used to be really bad,though! Really massive amounts of unhealthy stuff! I'm still a little heavy (around 245 at 6'), but I feel so much better than I used to!

[Nestea]

14. Agreed- I was a heavy kid

I was heavy as a child. My mom didn't exactly have an easy life what with my dad walking out when I was 5. She didn't have time to cook prepared meals what with having to work 60 hours a week just to support my brother and I.

So, yeah, I got heavy.

I remember being in 9th grade and being 6'1" and 240. It got worse freshman year in college(6'3" 270) but after that I learned how to eat correctly and now I'm at a comfortable weight of 195 on my 6'4" frame.

I offer encouragement and words of support to all those currently struggling with losing weight or keeping it off.

[buckettgirl]

16. Wow!

Congratulations! That is quite an accomplishment, especially to make lifestyle changes - not just diet - as it sounds that you have done.

[Nestea]

17. Yeah, although most of it is due to exercise, and not to diet changes.

While the diet certainly helps, I do think that removing PE from a lot of schools has contributed to the nation's rising obesity rate.

I think if elementary schools would extend the school day and include an hour of PE every schoolday that we would start to see the obesity rate in children drop dramatically.

Recesses in school are also important, for the same reason. To encourage physical activities.

I also think that schools should ban soda machines from school grounds because I'm of the opinion that non-diet soda is the biggest contributor to weight gain among children. A 12 oz can of soda contains 140 calories on average. And it's all empty, sugary calories. You could eat a banana and an apple for that amount of calories, and you'd feel a lot fuller, and it would be a lot healthier.

I could go on and on about my opinions on this but I'll stop rambling.

Basic point - Kids should drink diet soda instead of soda if they are going to drink it at all, and cut out the unhealthy snacks

There's nothing wrong with eating 3 meals a day, as long as you are eating healthy.

For example:

Breakfast- Bowl of cereal with skim milk, two pieces of toast, banana
Lunch - Tuna sandwich, lowfat Dannon yogurt, green beans
Mid-afternoon snack - cheese and crackers
Dinner - Lean chicken(or beef, or fish) with a nice salad with nonfat dressing and another vegetable or fruit.

This is a total of about 1800 calories a day, which is what most kids should be having. I left drinks out. Supplement this with about 20 minutes of cardio a day and it would help kids out a lot. This can work for adults too.

[buckettgirl]

20. Good point!

As a kid, I hated P.E. I was the fat girl, and didn't have any friends. I was the last to get picked for any games. I got laughed at when I couldn't do a pull up. The sad thing is, I wasn't really that big, weight wise, just bigger than the other kids - height and all.
I think that kind of stuff still goes on in P.E. classes. I am for keeping P.E. in schools because it is necessary to being healthy. But, also, instructors need to be careful about kids being mean like that. Parents also need to teach their kids tolerance and kindness towards everyone, including the obese... I think most do, but obviously some don't. People don't realize that things like that can damage a person's confidence and self-esteem for a lifetime.

You have many good points, especially beverages. Its amazing how people don't really realize how many calories they consume in a day just from drinking soda-pop! I go diet pop all the way!

[Nestea]

23. Good for you - just one thing

There have been studies that have shown that although diet soda has no calories(as we all know, it's diet after all), that Nutrasweet and other artificical sweetners have been proven to cause hunger increases in some people, in fact making them eat more than they would if they hadn't had a drink of diet soda. I'm not saying this is true for everyone but I found that it was somewhat true for me when I drank it.

Now I mostly drink water and the occasional diet soda.

Just something to be aware of.

I agree with you about the P.E. points. I don't believe in the captain system where you just pick people out like that. I was thinking less in terms of games and more in terms of just exercises led by the P.E. teacher, boot camp style.

Pushups, situps, jogging, weight lifting, etc. Maybe some teamwork activities.in

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

68. I think that maybe the diet sodas cause

an increase in hunger for some people who switched from regular soda because their bodies are used to getting calories from drinks.

That's just my theory. I've never had this problem, but I was only allowed to drink diet sodas as a kid. That's the only kind my parents would buy. I've never been a big soda drinker either. I mostly drink water. Soda tends to just make me more thirsty.

[Quill Pen]

134. Your theory is confirmed...

...by a book called "The Insulin Resistance Diet." One of the things they say about artifically-sweetened goods, in that book, is that they cause a slight elevation in the level of insulin produced (not nearly as much as a full-sugar soda would, however). An elevation in your insulin level tends to make you hungry.

To solve the problem, pair a diet soda (or anything artifically sweetened) with a protein source. Have some nuts or an ounce of cheese with the soda.

[Coyote_Bandit]

25. I'm With You on Everything Except the Diet Pop

The artificial sweeteners can cause serious health problems in some people. I used to drink it alot. And I developed a hearing problem which resolved after I quit using artificial sweeteners. Now I usually drink unsweetened ice tea or bottled water.

I was above the recommended weight for my height even in high school. And I was a competitive athlete in multiple sports at the time.

I do think that schools shold have more physical activities for kids. They need the physical activity, the mental break, and the socialization.

I also think that schools should teach nutrition beginning at a very early age. There is a whole lot of stuff that people would not buy and eat if they really understood what it was and how it affected thei bodies.

[Nestea]

33. Good points - see my post #23

See my post #23

I also comment on how diet soda can increase hunger pangs in some people.

While I'd rather kids drink diet than sugary soda still(assuming it's ok for their health), I'd rather that kids not drink any soda at all. It has no nutritional benefit whatsoever.

[buckettgirl]

34. its surprising

how many parents just hand their kids a pepsi instead of juice, milk, or water. To me, it seems to go right along the same lines as using the t.v. to babysite your kid, and not encourage activity.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

67. You have good points.

I've never been an obese person, but I have been slightly over weight. Changing your diet alone isn't going to help too much. I found that increasing my activity level was the best method to lose weight. Exercising can be hard at first, because you won't have that much endurance. It does, however, pay off big time in the long run.

About seven months ago, I decided I wanted to lose some weight. I decided to do running as an exercise. At first, I sucked at it. I remember I started off running a program (on the treadmill) that lasted 15 or 20 minutes and went from 3mph to 5mph. The 5mph was only in short spurts of a few minutes, but it was enough to make me winded. I knew I could do better, so I kept at it. I gradually increased my speed, length of workout, and frequency of work out. I've been running outside lately. The last time I ran on a treadmill was about 3 weeks ago, and I was able to run at a constant speed of 8mph for 15 minutes running a total distant of 2 miles. This a major improvement from when I started running 7 months ago. I run almost everyday now for about 45 minutes to 1.5 hours. I have lost since May 1st of this year a total of 25 pounds. I now weigh about the same as I did in high school, but I'm in far better shape now.

I think in order to really lose weight, you basically need to make exercise a daily habit. You also have to be constantly challenging yourself with your workouts, otherwise it's not really a workout.

Also, as far as my diet goes, I didn't really change it too much. I count calories some what. My only rule is to try to not go over 2000 calories in a day. Sometimes I would eat a little more than that, but no more frequently than once a week. I try to stay away from too much pizza (like the pizza hut type), but I allow myself to eat it. If you like some really high calorie foods, try to find some better alternatives. For instance, those pizza lean pockets are a great alternative. I think it's important to allow yourself to eat what you want, but just don't go over board.

I totally agree about the sodas. Drink diet soda if you are going to drink soda. I really don't notice a taste difference between diet and regular. You can get diet juice drinks that are very low calorie. Also drink skim milk, instead of the other types of milk.

Personally, I cannot stand the non-fat salad dressings. I think they taste gross. The best thing I've found is Hidden Valley Ranch Light (with sour cream). It's not non-fat, but it's low fat, and it tastes pretty good for a low fat dressing.

[Scout]

19. I'm with you!

I'm a 5'4" woman, and I weigh 220 pounds. According to my BMI, I am "morbidly obese". I don't look like I weigh 220 pounds, even my doctor, my surgeon and the pre-op staff didn't believe me when I told them my weight.

I don't have great cardiovascular stamina (yet), but I can lift weights (got up to 175 lbs on the bar for squats, and 120 lbs bench press), I am very flexible, I do yoga.

My eating habits could be better, however they aren't all THAT bad, and I don't routinely overeat.

My blood pressure is good, my cholesterol is excellent, no diabetes.

My dad, who has never been fat and has walked many, many, many miles on golf courses over his 78 years had a mini-stroke; my cousin-in-law, same thing, never been fat just got out of the hospital after narrowly missing a major heart attack due to his cholesterol clogging his carotid artery right up into the brain stem.

I'm sick to death of fat prejudice too! Just remember, when world famine comes, those skinny people will be dropping like flies, while the fat live off their reserves and rule the world!!!! Bwaaaa haaaa haaaa haaaa!

[buckettgirl]

22. hehehehe *evil grin*

You know what else I hate. Being discriminated against by clothes manufacturerers. It always seems that IF you can find plus sized clothing that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, it looks horrible! I have an additional complication in finding clothing because of my height...apparently those clothes designers have never heard of fat people who are also tall! So far the only store that I have found that offers tasteful clothing, and the prices aren't horrible (especially when on clearence) is C.J. Banks. And their sizes are uniform, so you don't have to guess if it will fit or not!

[Dorian Gray]

78. Lane Bryant

They have some good clothing, and not too pricey. They are constantly getting new stuff in, also! (Which means, they are constantly having sales for their old inventory!)

My weight vascillates a lot. I'm regularly between a size 14 and size 18. LB has great Bras for the more well endowed person, also!

[RevCheesehead]

82. Lands' End has a plus size division.

Their stuff is really good. Unfortuantely, it's usually priced about $5-15 above the price of "regular" people. But you can get really good deals at the overstocks dept.

The three I shop at on the net:

Lands' End: http://www.landsend.com/cd/frontdoor/

Lane Bryant Catalog: http://www.lbcatalog.com/lbcatalog/layout/layout.asp?referer=1&

Roaman's (a division of Lane Bryant):
http://www.roamans.com/roamans/layout/layout.asp?referer=1&

Others that are good: Silhouettes, sometimes Chadwick's

[buckettgirl]

85. Yes, I have checked them out...but

There's another point there. Why should we be forced to shop online for basic clothing???
I love to go shopping for clothes, but I have to drive to Wichita, Topeka, Kansas City, or Colorado Springs to find any decent plus sized stores. (and thats about 3 -5 hour drive for me to any of those places)
I also like to see what it looks like before I buy it. I really hate dealing with returns to online stores...
Walmart doesn't do a very good job of providing plus-sized clothing either...

But yes, thank you for the links... :)

[China_cat]

141. I think I gave up

when I started seeing size 12 considered a 'plus' size. Now I see that a 10 is also.

I grew up with a grandmother who was anorexic and bulemic (long before we had those words for it), addicted to laxitives and constantly reminding me that anything more than Auschwitz survivor weight was fat. She had me on diet pills by the time I was 14.

I look at my teenage pictures now and wish to hell I'd had somebody to tell me that I wasn't fat. I wasn't, but she had me convinced that I was.

Now I am. I finally caught up with the image of myself that she planted in my head from the time I was 5.

[UncleSepp]

27. Hell yeah!

I'm 5'2" and usually around 140 lbs. All the charts and tables tell me that means I'm overweight and that I ought to weigh 90-100 pounds. What am I supposed to do, cut off a leg? I spent three months on a 1400 calorie a day diet, and then a month on 1200 calories a day. I was exercising too during this time. I lost less than five pounds. So after that I decided "screw it!" and just had whatever I wanted - for me, that means some cream in coffee or cream sauce instead of tomato, or a peanut butter sandwich, or a dinner that doesn't fit in a saucer. I haven't gained anything. My body wants to weigh what it wants to weigh, and it's nobody's business but my own.

I'm not sure I believe the "Americans are fatter than ever" opinion or even the research. I look back at nudes of women from decades ago, even a century ago, and I see women whose bodies look like the bodies of people I see all around. I don't remember this past when people were all skinny and fit. When was that? There must be something funny going on either with the math or the terms. I am just not buying it.

[buckettgirl]

29. The bad thing is

In the past, large women were depicted as beautiful. Even in the 1960's, Marilyn Monroe was beautiful - and she was, what a size 14 or 16.
Being large/fat was also a sign of wealth (pre 20th century). Now they say that most obese people come from the lower socio-economic statuses...
whatta turnaround!

[Dorian Gray]

79. Yeah, she was a 14...

But the sizing was different then. It's equal to a 10/12 of today, but that's still a lot larger than any of the movie stars we see in today's films. And she was gorgeous!

[buckettgirl]

88. When did 14 become plus sized???

Really! I remember being in middle school only about 12 years ago - I was a size 18. 18 and up was plus sized. Now, if you're over a size 12, its plus sized. Frankly that becomes demeaning. The bad thing is, if I were at my "right" weight - between about 180-200 lbs - would probably be (depending on muscle mass) between about a 12 and 16. But I would look good...
Clothes manufacturers are horrible and have alot to blame for this notion of beauty too

[NikolaTeslaRocks]

139. MSG and weight gain

Marilyn Monroe was truly beautiful. Unfortunately she was a little bit disturbed, lol.

Here is an interesting fact. I used to have the link but I lost it. Computer problems.
Scientist or researchers were researching a drug for something and they made the rats obese by giving them MSG. The same thing that is in most of our processed foods. I dont know how much but you know this could be a part of America's being overweight. That along with the fact that cows milk has naturally occuring growth hormones that are designed to make baby cows get big.
To make matters worse, our dairy farmers give the cows growth hormones and such to make them produce more milk. I feel that for some at least, the MSG and the hormones in dairy products could be adding to the obesity problems some face.

I can tell you this, I dropped a pants size just by cutting out nearly all the dairy in my diet. I can now get in my old clothes that I could wear before my daughter was born. I dont have a weight problem but like most I would love to lose some more weight. I want to wear a 5/6 or 7/8 in pants but that is not likely in my future.
I am not that big now so I should not complain. My hubby is another story though. We both worry about his health.

[spooky3]

163. I hope you're taking calcium supplements. I was shocked to

discover after my OB/GYN wanted me to get a baseline DEXA (bone density) scan, that I had borderline osteoporosis before menopause. I have almost none of the risk factors and always liked dairy foods. But most people don't realize that you need much more calcium along with vitamin D than you would normally take in. You need nearly 4 full glasses of milk a day--who drinks or eats that much? I told my sister and she had the same scan with even worse results.

There is treatment fortunately, but it's better to prevent it.

[LenaLush]

28. Body acceptance is very important in our culture

most women are bombarded by diet ads that tell us that we cannot be loved or be attractive unless we are all size 8's. I call that a load of bunkum. I used to be a size 8 but had to starve by body to do so. I now eat sensibly and am a size 18, and my husband loves me as I am as do I.

[buckettgirl]

31. I wish I could...

I haven't been a size 18 in about 7 years (now a size 26) - came close a couple times... but still couldn' get those old jeans on! I wish I could do that... unfortunately, no matter what I eat, I just gain weight - altough slowly. My problem seems to lie more in that I eat, but I never feel full. I never felt full from a normal sized portion of food until went on Meridia (I lost 50 lbs, then couldn't afford to buy it anymore).

[SemiCharmedQuark]

32. Dieting got me an eating disorder, you have my support fully.

I started by just wanting to lose a few pounds. But as I did, people complimented me and I liked the compliments, so I cut back on food even more and started exercising more. I'd get more compliments and then push myself harder and harder until I couldn't control it anymore. I was going on about 300 calories a day and I hated myself for that. If I slipped and ate extra, I would use laxatives, ipacac, whatever to get rid of it.

I really hate the stigma that comes with being overweight. Im fairly tall as well, 5'8" and I have a large frame. I remember just hating my body because even when I got bony, my bones were large.

[buckettgirl]

35. Being big boned

isn't an excuse, it simply is physiological truth. One odd thing that I think of sometimes is how big my fingers are. I have a friend of weighs about as much as I do, but is much shorter than me, and small boned... she has this huge body and then tiny fingers! She can wear like a size 7 ring on her ring finger. I, on the otherhand, have big bones and my wedding band had to be sized up (only a half size) to an 11. The funny thing is, no matter what my weight has been, my fingers have always been huge. Only since I have hit this all time high weight have my fingers actually gotten slightly bigger. I always thought it was odd to think that way of my fingers... but I guess it is kind of a good way to compare big and small boned/framed people.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

36. Yeah, I always heard that you can check by your wrists

take your middle finger and thumb and wrap them around your other hand's wrist. If they overlap, you're small boned, if they touch, medium and if they leave a gap, large.

I hate the "ideals" that exist. It made me feel like a monster as a kid.

[Red State Rebel]

54. I had the same problem...bulemia from dieting

At one point, I weighed 109 lbs. and was extremely bulemic. I can't say being overweight is healthier, but I know bulemia would have eventually killed me. I ended up in the hospital twice from it.

[doni_georgia]

37. I consider myself Rubinesque

I'm there with you. I know I am fat and I don't need other people constantly pointing it out to me - I am fat not blind. I am someone is naturally carries more weight. I am 5' 3" but at 170 I wore a size 8. I have a very muscular build and I am the poster child for thunder thighs. Thunder thighs run in the family. In high school, everyone called my sister and me "Herchel and Earl" after Herchel Walker and Earl Campbell. I wear a 20/22 right now, but after 3 c-sections and 25 years of yoyo dieting it's a wonder I'm not bigger than that. I decided years ago that I wasn't dieting again. I eat a very healthy diet - whole foods. I have gradually been losing about 10 pounds a year for the past 3 years. My cholesterol is good as is my blood sugar. I do have high blood pressure, but have since I was a teenager and weighed 120, besides it's stabilized by medicine. My aunt, who has been obese her entire life, just found out she has a rare thyroid condition not found by most tests. Since they got her medicine, she has lost 100 pounds. She also had high blood pressure her whole adult life as well, and it went down the minute they put her on thyroid meds. My doc thinks that may be my problem, since this type of thyroid problem runs in families. I am going in next month for the extensive test. Who knows, I may be "cured." If not, I will continue to eat healthy as I have been, because I am fine with who I am and how I look.

[HuskerDem]

38. I am no longer obese, now just a little overweight and slowly, slowly

taking it off.

I grew up in a typical beef and potatoes mid western family. On top of the usual disregard and lack of education concerning nutrition, there is my mother. Before my mother was orphaned at age 7, she and her siblings survived by making stew from dandelions. They would go to fields, ditches, etc, and gather the days food. This was supplemented with dumpster fare. Combine this with an 8th grade education and serial abuse at the hands of foster "parents" and you end up with a very dear lady with a decidedly unhealthy relationship with food.

Growing up my mom was determined to give me everything she lacked in her childhood. Unconditional love, a nurturing environment, a childhood of discovery and play, a warm clean bed and clothes, stability............ and food. Cake, cheeses, fruit, cows, cookies, store-bought candy, nuts, chips, soda-pop, fried chicken, enough potatoes to quell the Irish famine, pies, casseroles, hams smothered in brown sugar and marshmallows, bacon, chocolate, pancakes, bologna, sausages .......... you name it.

About 3 years ago, I managed to lose all of my extra weight but like you hear so many times, it came back. The biggest reason why it happened? I didn't lose it correctly. I severely restricted my calories and eliminated entire food groups. That IS NOT a sustainable solution for me, or for many others for that matter. When I did it the first time, I was losing anywhere from 2 to 5 pounds a week. It was a diet. This time, I am not going on any diet at all. I have simply made a reasonable and permanent change to my eating habits. I am eating very healthy now, so I could care less about exactly where the numbers end up at in the end.

This change came about for me when my mother was diagnosed with diabetes. It runs like wildfire in our family which isn't really a big surprise. When mom was diagnosed with diabetes, I took the diagnosis as my own. I decided if I did not begin to manage this problem now it would soon be my reality as well. I now limit and count my servings from each food group, making sure that every day has a proper balance of protein, starch, dairy, fruits and veggies. This becomes quite easy in very little time at all. I do not eat foods that are high in fat or artificial sugar any more and nothing fried. It's an absolute miracle what you can do with shake n' bake and splenda, but mostly I eat natural foods now. Most of my fruits and veggies are eaten raw, because I like them better uncooked.

I have quite steadily and slowly been losing 1/2 to 1 1/2 pounds per week now for a while. I feel better, my energy is better and I'm finally at peace. No pressure anymore.

I hope you find the best way for you to be healthy and happy too, whatever that means for you.

[buckettgirl]

48. Congratulations

That sounds like some huge obstacle to overcome. When I was young, from about the age of 4 or 5 until about age 11, my mom worked evenings - so dad and I went to Grandma's for dinner.... Grandma pushed food (she still doesn't like to take no for answer), and if you didn't like it, she would make something special and she ALWAYS had dessert! I don't know why she is like that, but it certainly makes it hard to eat healthy (even now, as I see her regularly) when she always pushes food. Even if she knows that you don't want it, she still tries. I understand that she means well and that I'm not going to change what she does, but it is irritating. Usually she only wins me over when she has something homemade (not very oftten anymore).
I, too, have health concerns. Diabetes runs in the family, as does breast cancer (obesity is a factor for development), and heart problems. I know that for a long time I wanted to lose weight for the wrong reasons (so people would stop being mean to me) and didn't really realize the health implications of it. One thing I do know, I don't intend to stay this size and end up on a whole bunch of medications 10 or 20 years down the road because of what I failed to do today. One thing I've noticed - doctors seem to like to keep fat people fat, otherwise they make less office visits and have less medical problems, which means they spend less on healthcare...

[HuskerDem]

71. That's what my mom's old doctor was doing to HER

Plus, he was a dyed in the wool pill pusher. I really hated him. He had her on 7 different medicatons for hypertension ALONE. Plus then there were the cholesterol drugs, the blood thinners and various others. She was a veritable bonanza of regular business for him, and I'm sure she had been on the verge of diabetes for years before I got her to switch doctors and she was diagnosed.

Find a doctor that will be honest with you and willing to be a partner with you in pursuing better long term health. My mothers old doctor nearly killed her with his terrible care. Since she has switched doctors she is on track to a much better quality of life in her sunset years.

Want to know one good way to solve the grandma thing? Offer to start cooking for her when the two of you get together now. Let her sit down for once in the kitchen and enjoy the conversation while you prepare a nice, healthy meal for her.

:hug:

[buckettgirl]

75. well

I've got Thanksgiving taken care of. Grandma is letting me do the turkey and dressing... She is the matriarch of the family...back in the day, her house would be filled with people for holiday parties, and boy, could she sure put out a good spread.
Now it is just a small family thing for the holidays. I thought she would be offended if I asked to do the turkey! NOpe! Shocked me, she was actually GLAD to not deal with it!
At least that's a start. Hopefully, it will get better from there.

I am glad to hear that your mom was able to find a doctor to treat her as she should be. Better late than never...sounds like it happened right on time, too.
I do notice that doctors are very skittish about prescribing "fat" pills - but they will prescribe everything else! I had to make a big push to get a prescription for Meridia and Xenical. Those worked well for me, as long as I could afford to take them...but they never solved the underlying food issues. So when I couldn't buy the prescriptions, the weight came back.

[AlienGirl]

39. With you...

Though I am not obese, I think anti-fat attitudes suck.

I also wonder why this culture has started viewing eating as a matter of "good" and "bad." My friends who diet refer to being "good" or "bad" based on whether they have overeaten, as if it is a matter of moral concern--as if there is something actually *wrong*, morally wrong, with gaining weight, and some great virtue in losing weight.

Fat people are discriminated against in employment, and airlines are now starting to talk about "fat surcharges." It's as though our culture has decided there is a moral imperative to be thin and "attractive."

Tucker

[Must_B_Free]

40. Obese People Unite?

But that would just make one really really obese person

[Biased Liberal Media]

44. Was this meant sarcastically or as a joke?? n/t

[WI_DEM]

69. what an idiot

if this is your response to this post. This person raises some good points and we are supposed to be a party and a people who oppose discrimination and all you can do is come up with some lame, idiot, sarcastic remark.

[foreigncorrespondent]

114. Trust you...

...to be so insensitive and rude!

Why post in the thread if you haven't got anything but insults to add?

[DoNotRefill]

41. I'm obese and nobody gives me crap about it.

Of course, that's because I'm bigger than some cars, and am well known to be heavily armed.

[foreigncorrespondent]

42. Excellent Post!!!

I really don't know what made you decide to post this, but damn, it is one of the best posts I have seen concerning obese people.

Yes I am obese. Like you, my obesity isn't caused by overeating, etc. Mine is actually caused by a medical condition, and I am bloody well getting fed up with brainless idiots insulting me, because they think obesity is a choice.

In my line of work, I face lots of abuse by inconsiderate people, but it damn well pisses me off when they insult the way I look. I might be big, but I am certainly not ugly, and I do have feelings.

Thanks for posting this!!!!

[buckettgirl]

52. Another thing that is irritating..

It doesn't help us to look our best when clothing manufacturers don't make clothes that look decent. Either they have no concept of the shape of a fat body or they think we don't know what looking fashionable is.
Also, it always seems impossible to find plus sized clothing that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. I have an additional complication in finding clothing because of my height...apparently those clothes designers have never heard of fat people who are also tall!
So far the only store that I have found that offers tasteful clothing, and the prices aren't horrible (especially when on clearence) is C.J. Banks. And their sizes are uniform, so you don't have to guess if it will fit or not!

[Scout]

93. I'm supposed to be taller....

I guess, because I have the problem of the sleeves are always too long on the clothes that fit my bust!

[foreigncorrespondent]

113. Oh! I really do feel sorry for you!

We used to have that problem here in Australia, but not any more. For the last (I would guess) 10 years large sizing and more stylish clothing has been in stores that are cheaper, than having to go to the local fat gals boutique.

I can buy lovely stylish clothes from Kmart and Target. The prices there aren't so bad. You can buy lovely tops, trousers, skirts, dresses starting at around $30.00. In fact recently I was after a pair of black slacks. I had started a job in the security industry, and while the company I am working for supplied a shirt and jumper, we have to supply our own slacks. Seem as how we are now entering the warmer months I was finding it hard to actually find slacks, finally I went to a local Target store and got a lovely pair for $24.00.

And the slacks here, you can buy either long legs or short legs. Unfortunately for me, I am short, and they didn't have any short legs left, so I had to go with a pair made for someone of your height.

And my sister just told me last weekend of a great place to go if I want to get some nice matching underwear for when Sapphocrat (my partner) visits for Christmas. This underwear is made for the buxom woman. And you can even get full brief panties, bikini briefs, and even thongs. So I will be looking to buy a few sets in the coming weeks.

The only thing I hate with being here is, my favorite jeans are over there, and I can't get them here. I love Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. They are a great cut, and the leg size is perfect for me.

I would guess that because the U.S. is so caught up in image that, that is probably the reason they don't make the nicer clothes for larger people.

[spooky3]

168. I think that most of the women's fashions in dept stores now

really require extremely thin bodies to look good. The clothes are tight and very unflattering, even the ones that are not revealing. I will be happy when this phase passes. One good thing about the 80s--the styles could be worn by many different sizes and shapes of bodies.

[Biased Liberal Media]

43. I hear you & i'm sick of the stereotypes too

I'm tired of people claiming only FAT LAZY people shop at Walmart (uhh a lot of who are fat don't, and not all fat people are lazy). I'm tired of putting up with it, been putting up with it for the majority of my life and will continue to fight it.

Luckily I haven't been attacked in public where I live now in comparison to where I USED to live...that's another story in itself. It's really sad that people think that throwing things at a person because of their weight, sexual orientation, gender, race, age, etc, is justified or funny. It's NOT.

Thank you for posting this.

[Samurai_Writer]

45. This is what one 5'10", 275 pound "morbidly obese"...

44-year-old woman looks like...





Bella, who is fat and fit! And thinks all those fatphobes can go to hell!

Edit: Also this is what one vegetarian looks like. Not all fat people eat junk!

[buckettgirl]

50. wow

I wish I could pull off being that sexy!

[Samurai_Writer]

72. You can be sexy at any size!

It's all a matter of attitude! I've been a BBW model now for 10 years, and one thing it has done for me is give me even more self confidence -- as well as learn how to work in front of and behind a camera. :c)

[TLM]

101. Ewwwww..... sorry that's not sexy.

That's no more sexy than a stick thin anorexic.

Both looks are unhealthy and unattractive.


About as sexy as leprosy.

[Samurai_Writer]

110. Sexiness is subjective

There are some people who find dwarves incredibly sexy. Some people find petite, thin women sexy. Others find fat women sexy -- and women much fatter than me. As a BBW model, I'm 'average' size -- super size BBWs are much larger, and there are hundreds if not thousands of men who find them incredibly sexy. To each their own.

[Kipepeo]

111. To each his and her own, my friend

You know what's about as sexy as leprosy? Men who feel a need to publicly define what is 'not sexy' in those terms.

:boring:

[Biased Liberal Media]

125. That was uncalled for. n/t

[Pithlet]

140. Sexiness is more about attitude

then anything else. A person who doesn't fit the ideal of what the media consider perfect who feels beautiful and confident and sexy, and sees that beauty in others, is sexier than a person who may fit the ideal more physically, but feels terrible about themselves, and also may project that onto others. It's sad when anyone, no matter how they look, feels so bad about themselves that they feel they have no sex appeal, and that is something that people pick up on and use as judgment more than people realize. How many of us have known a person that wouldn't fit the rigid beauty standards of our day, but are so confidant and enjoy life so much that they just radiate sex appeal? They know what sex appeal truly is, and it isn't the airbrushed and well lighted images we see in the magazines. It isn't making open and public judgments about other people who don't fit that mold.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

146. That's not nice, TLM. No need to be mean.

[eataTREE]

92. *stammer*

*splutter*
*splurk*

Madam, you're goregeous. Allow me to stand here like an idiot and drool for a few moments.

I wish there were more women like you, and many fewer trying to starve themselves into submission in an attempt to look like a war refugee. (The fact that that's an ideal of beauty says something deeply disturbing about our culture.)

[flygal]

46. I'm sick of my inability to tan...

imagine being a kid in the 80's during tanamania!! I love how Conan O'Brien can joke about himself. But, why do some of the ugliest people who have nothing going for themselves have no problem making nasty comments about my white legs?! And I REFUSE to use that fake shit!

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

47. You're not alone

Under plain sun i just get sunburned and red. Short of albinos i have yet to find a person who is more pale skinned than me allthough i've met some milky competition in this allready. A summer just isn't complete without a nice sunburn giving you the complete feeling of every squaremillimeter of skin on your back when ya close the eyes.

@Topic
Have had problems holding my weight beeing at 1.78m 60kg and fighting not to fall beyond that. Allthough many of my old trousers just fall off without a belt. But honestly i'd rather be underweight than overweight, because of heartproblems and stuff allthough anemia is an issue now and then.

Sorry to say that even here in German speaking Europe now and then "documentaries" are aired about our "obesive" transatlantic neighbours (and to some degree germans and british).

A whole segment of population living on Big-Mac and diet pepsi-like food. Soda, fastfood and sweet companies having exclusive contracts with schools concerning meals etc. Along with some "interviews" that really really give ya the picture of the stereotypical fat dumb fuck a la "i want to look good but changing to a more sane nutrition no way." It also pointed out that fastfood is just cheaper than vegetables and healthy stuff. What is true of it or not is hard to see through the perception of our media which is biased in its own way(you don't want to get like these warmongering, fat,stupid fucks over there). So much for swiss neutrality in the media...

just for the record:
i distance myself from this point of view that dumb includes fat and vice versa. fat dumb is as much a stereotype as the skinny "goodlooking" dumb which may apply to some people.

btw: ever tried swimming? i it serves well transforming fat to muscles but better ask a pro...just an idea

[buckettgirl]

51. oh my

Yes, I do like to swim and I do aquasize often...its easier on my joints.

The sad thing is, on any given day, I see skinny women (who typically turn their nose up at me) consume more calories in a single sitting than I do all day, and it makes me mad. They drink can after can of regular soda-pop, they get big greasy burgers and whatever else; and then have the nerve to treat me like a monster just because of my size...even though I don't eat that way! I think that probably most fat people don't eat that way, yet the stereotype dictates they must or they wouldn't be fat...

[Pithlet]

90. And, they probably think you hate them because they're skinny

People really just don't have a clue, sometimes. Just remember that because they don't look fat doesn't mean the crap they're eating isn't doing any damage. If they're drinking lots of pop and eating greasy burgers on a regular basis, they will probably pay for that later. So, when they stick their noses up at you self righteously as they eat those burgers, just think "Your arteries are hardening as we speak..."

[buckettgirl]

91. Go I do get such a laugh

When people like that (any gender) end up fat. After all the crap they did to demean fat people, they end up fat!
Haha!
What goes around comes around! Its all Karma! LOL

[bobbieinok]

176. what I noticed in Switzerland (where I have many relatives)

many women, especially 35+, were what many in US would say were overweight

BUT they were healthy, walked a lot, ... in other words, not flabby but defined, if this makes any sense

it was especially weird to see Dallas, with the heavily made-up, super skinny actresses (the US media 'ideal') and then see the healthy, mostly little make-up, non stick women in the real Swiss world

[WLKjr]

49. Fuckin A, I am with you!

[Beware the Beast Man]

53. I am 6'2 and 325 pounds,

but being "obese" is nothing to be proud about. It's one thing to appreciate your natural beauty. Not everyone can be a twig, but face it, I am a ticking time bomb. I have an extra 100 pounds on my frame and it's bringing me down (literally and figuratively). So to conclude, I celebrate being "healthy;" being "obese," however, is nothing to crow about. I know, it's semantics, but...

[buckettgirl]

55. I don't disagree

Thats not my point. I am certainly not proud to be obese, either. I certainly don't want to be this way. But I am more than just obese. I am human.
Why do parents teach their children to be nice to everyone - but then laugh when the child points at a fat person and says something really derogatory?
Why should we have to put up with that?
You would think that because the majority of people in this country AREN'T skinny and beautiful, people would be more tolerant/accepting of people being the size they are.
Being discriminated against because of obesity crosses all boundries - it affects people of different races, different genders, and different sexual orientations.
We not only have to deal with the "known" issues of discrimination, but then, this too - which no one really wants to acknowledge.
My only point was that fat people aren't stupid or lazy - and don't deserve to be stereotyped. Of course, there is an exception to every rule, but they certainly don't constitute the majority.

[Beware the Beast Man]

56. People discriminate because it's something that can be "changed."

Which is in no way right, but that is the general consensus in this society. I'm sure it is much tougher for an overweight woman. Look at TV: on one night of CBS programming alone, I remember THREE sitcoms that starred an overweight man with a "hot" wife. Big double standard.

I'm not, however, overly PC about the whole thing. I still call Rush Limbaugh a stupid fat fuck, so I guess I have no room to talk :hi:

[buckettgirl]

64. welllll....

Rush limbaugh IS a stupid fat fuck! lol
I don't blame ya for that one! I'm guilty of that too.
I'm not a hypocrite, I swear!

I think that is a pretty common misconception... that being obese can be "changed" Sometimes it can, sometimes it can't.
Yeah, I agree that overweight/obese women have it tougher than men, at least to a certain degree.

[PittLib]

160. It's not hypocrisy ...

the fat refers to what is between his ears. :evilgrin:

[AgadorSparticus]

81. like it or not, there is a standard for "beauty" in this country that

doesn't include a vast population. it is not just being thin. it is about having blond hair, round eyes, plump lips, etc. but now, with hollywood going OCD on beauty standards, you open a whole can of worms with botox and plastic surgery.

how can anyone keep up with what is considered "beautiful"? they can't. it's not designed to be reachable for a reason: MONEY. buy more lotions and potions. more diets, books, tapes, classes, excersise equipment, surgeries...and it will continue as these industries make obscene amounts of money exploiting women's insecurities and self consciousness.

[ionchemyst]

126. Time Bomb

I was 292 in mid-October 2003, and started dieting and jogging three times a week.

Before I crashed into the cheesecake table at the office Thanksgiving party an hour ago, I weighed in at 190 lb. (Oh well, it's the holidays, only happens once a year ;)

I've gone from a 46 waist to a 34. My resting heart rate went from somewhere just shy of 100 to high 70s. I never had a cholesterol problem, even when I ate like a garbage disposal, so not much has changed in that arena. I could pound back double whoppers w/ cheese and fries for weeks and never break 150 on cholesterol.

It's hard to do, but worth the outcome. My doctor has discontinued my hypertension meds that I had been on since 1984, and I can keep up w/ my kids who play soccer.

I had to change what, how, why, and when I ate, and then add the dreaded exercise regimen, but it has worked well for me.

All that being said, people are beastly w/r/t their treatment of the obese, or anyone, really, that is different from that Hollywood "ideal" that is jammed down our throats and held up as an example of the perfect person.

[buckettgirl]

133. What you say is pretty much where I am now

"I had to change what, how, why, and when I ate, and then add the dreaded exercise regimen, but it has worked well for me"

I know what I need to do. Its like I have all the pieces of the puzzle, I just need some help to put it all together. That is where I am now. If everything works out right this time, I hope next year I can say the same about myself and be 100lbs lighter (it would be a joy)
Congratulations and keep it up!
Don't let the holidays do ya in to badly!! :P

[RevCheesehead]

57. Thank you for posting this!!!

OK, I won't bore you with the details: I'm 42, and morbidly obese. I have been fat all my life.

I'm learning how to love myself for who I am, rather than what I look like on the outside. Bigotry comes in many forms, and "fat-ism" is one of the worst.

Let me remind all that God loves us for who we are on the inside. When God chose David to be king, Samuel thought God surely would choose one of his older brothers:
(1 Samuel 16:7 - "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the LORD does not seeas mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart."

Paul was considered ugly.
And Mother Teresa...well, enough said.

Look for the beauty within!

[SammyWinstonJack]

58. Short and chubby

I am 4'11" and weigh 135. Up until 10 years ago I wore a size 4, I now wear a size 8/10. I don't eat everything in sight either. Mostly salads and chicken. Drink a lot of iced tea with splenda. But I really don't exercise so that might be part of the problem. And age also I suppose. I'm 51. I can't blame it on genetics, all of my Aunts were shorter then I and weighed less then a 100 lbs all their lives and my Dad and brother are over 6 ft and are skinny. Perhaps I am lazy. :shrug:

[buckettgirl]

65. I don't think you're lazy

Sounds like aging has caught up to ya! No offense!
As long as you feel healthy, its all good.
ONe thing I have read though, is that even if you're over 50, if you can do any kind of strength training, it will be a benefit for your body - especially in preventing osteoporosis. Perhaps that is something you could try - it would benefit your body, and perhaps help take some weight off.

[SammyWinstonJack]

115. You're right of course and I know that!

No offense taken!

[pagerbear]

59. Why do people in general think it's OK to comment on others' bodies?

Size, whether large or small, hair, skin tone, etc.

It's remarkable how many people feel it's appropriate, upon seeing that I have lost weight, to tell me how to lose weight. Or who want to talk about how I lost weight. Or who go on and on about how much I've lost (it's a lot) without seeing that it makes me uncomfortable.

Yes, I know they usually mean well, or think they do, and yes, tell me I look great (I do), but then shut the fuck up about it!

[Pithlet]

89. Oh, yes. It's irritating.

It's bad either way, but when I was slow to lose the pregnancy weight the first time around came well meaning comments from loved ones about their "concern" about my weight. Then, when I lost the weight, it was just so fantastic! I understand they mean well, and they think that makes me feel good, and they're used to the skinny me, so the contrast is probably startling, but it make me think that I'm not as acceptable unless I'm skinny. The messages society sends are bad enough.

[pagerbear]

120. Hmmmm.....some replies to those people come to mind

If the offender has any sensitivity at all, "Thank you for your concern." should shut him/her up. Alas, that is not always the case.

"I'm glad you like me so much more now!"

"I'm sorry my appearance bothered you before, but now it's alright, isn't it? You'll let me know if my appearance becomes offensive again?"

[RevCheesehead]

61. If you haven't seen "Shallow Hal," please do.

I love this movie! Hal is given the gift of being able to see people as they really are, rather than what they appear to be on the outside. He falls in love with an obese woman.

Definately worth it!

[buckettgirl]

66. Everyone should see that movie!

The first time I saw that, i was in awe... that someone actually decided to address the fact that large people can be beautiful in many ways.
Great movie!

[Runcible Spoon]

73. then why couldn't they have used a real woman instead of

Gwynnie Paltrow in a fat suit? I'm not obese but people in my immediate family are and I'm very sensitive to this subject...I found the movie extremely offensive; he only fell in love with her bc he thought she was thin..the message is that fat people are physically repulsive and sexually undesirable but just get to know them and their personalities will win you over because they are soooo sweet and charming! if you're not beautiful according to social standards, you have to make it up in some way, right? :eyes:

[buckettgirl]

76. But he had to learn a lesson

if that were the case, he wouldn't have stayed with her in the end. He had to learn that there IS more than just physical attractiveness...and that some women, who society would label as beautiful, are basically bitches from hell.
Pretty much, the moral of the story was don't judge a book by its cover.

I have to admit that, at first, I wasn't sure what to think of that movie. But then I thought it was good thing. It showed how shallow people can be and how wrong it is to be that way.

[FizzFuzz]

142. and the guy was no babe, but I doubt THAT got mentioned.

Someone above mentioned the double standard, and someone else kindly affirmed it by coming on and insulting someone here with unrestrained contempt.

It has always pissed me off that men are permitted to inhabit their bodies, regardless of what that body looks like, while women are expected to shrivel up and disappear if they are too old, fat, thin, ugly, etc etc. I friggen HATE double standards!

(and no offense to the men here who are struggling with their weight, or anything else for that matter)

I am "normal weight", but need to get in the excersize habit. That is hard, I'm sedentary from way back.

My experiences with the cruelty of others was never weight related, but revolved around an intestinal disease I had. Cruel cruel people out there.

[spooky3]

169. I agree about the double standard. The WaPo had a feature several months

ago, written by a man, about how he planned to take weight off. He mentioned that both he and that he suggested to a female friend who "needed to lose a few pounds" that they do this together. However, when the details were given, she was in the normal BMI range, around 20, and he was close to 30 BMI. He saw them as equally overweight, and the editor did not correct it.

[Pushed To The Left]

161. That was a fun movie

with a very positive message.

[TO Kid]

62. Welcome to my world...

Smokers have been putting up with this crap for decades.

[wicket]

70. I am a fat chick.

When I was a child I was sexually abused and turned to food for comfort (and subconciously probably did it to try to make myself less attractive to the abuser). I've been through a lot of therapy and healing, but food and my weight will always be a struggle for me. I've accepted it and love myself the way I am. Sure, I have my bad days when I feel depressed about my weight, but I am finally at a point where those days are few and far between.

Thank-you for letting me share. :hug:

[buckettgirl]

77. Thank you for sharing

Your story just goes to show that there are many, many reasons why people gain weight and become overweight/obese. That is why it isn't as simple as "eat right and exercise". More often than not, there are many psychological issues to overcome before a person can 1. accept themselves, and 2. make progress toward being healthy for the sake of being healthy.
:hug:

[chefgirl]

74. Good for you for saying what needed to be said!!

While I am not overweight now, 5'0" 115 lbs, when I was younger I was VERY heavy. My top weight was about 200 lbs, which at five feet tall, was really pretty rotund.

I went through all the same experiences in school. P.E. class, boys being very cruel, etc. I was lucky enough to have a lot of friends however, but even they always felt it there God given right to critique my weight.

When I went to culinary school, I began to lose weight, partly because I was learning a little bit about food, and partly because I was working my ass off every day.
I mostly did it by eating low fat, high volume foods.

I learned a LOT about how shallow people are, and how transparent the whole idea of outward image is. When I was thin, all of a sudden, people were just more accessible and nicer, especially men.
When the only difference is your appearance, you see men who you know wouldn't give you the time of day if you were heavy, falling all over themselves to get you into bed, and they don't know anything more about you than the assholes who wouldn't have bothered with you before. It taught me an enormous amount about people. Lessons I will never forget.

My mother was a gorgeous woman, who was 6'0" tall and very thin when she was younger. As she got older, she eventually weighed close to 200 lbs. and, although she was still very beautiful, beat herself up till the day she died worrying about her weight. It was so sad for me to listen to her, after all the lessons I had learned about body image and perception and other peoples prejudices, but I could never get her to understand that.

Sorry, for the long post, but I want to say, I fully understand where you are coming from, buckettgirl, and I stand with you, for very personal reasons, and because you seem to have already learned the lesson I wish my Mom could have learned.

Screw other people and what they think of your appearance. If someone doesn't take the time or make the effort to look a little deeper than the surface, they aren't worth wasting time with anyway.

-chef-

[Brand New Tico]

80. Sure, we can unite, but let's grab a burger first

I'm feelin' a bit peckish....

[buckettgirl]

86. Sorry, I don't do fast food. I'll take a fruit and my slimfast.

[HuskerDem]

128. Stay away from "slimfast"

That crap is HORRIBLE for you. It should be called "pack-it-on fast" or somethng like that. It's high caloie/low volume food that leaves you hungry so you end up consuming more calories than you would have without it in the end. Turn that label around and just look at how many freakin' calories that stuff has. Evil, evil stuff.

Much better to stick to raw fruits and veggies. Sliced cucumbers, baby carrots, pears, celery, apples, cherry tomatoes.........

Yum.

[buckettgirl]

130. i don't know what you're thinking...

original slimfast contains 220 calories and 40g carbs.
slimfast optima contains 180 calories and 20g carbs.
low carb slimfast contains 180 calories and 2g net carbs (but it tastes like ass)
I'm sorry if you couldn't be satisfied from a slimfast. I find that slimfast makes a good breakfast for me - I don't have time to make breakfast, but it gives a good start to the day. Since I have tried slimfast optima, I don't feel so sluggish in the morning, I am sure that has to do with the lower carb count. It is also full of vitamins and minerals.
I think you confuse what slimfast is supposed to be with something like sugar pop (or regular, non-diet pop to the rest of you). Pop is empty calories - all sugar. Slimfast is not - its good for those who don't have time to stop and cook or to stop and eat.

I don't disagree that veggies are best, then some fruits. Ideally, everyone should stick with a diet of all whole foods, but realistically, thats not always possible. I do believe that slimfast offers a reasonable alternative for those on the go whose time is very limited.

[SmileyBoy]

83. I agree completely. I'm 35 pounds overweight myself.

The government BMI index says that I'm on the border between overweight and obese, although I don't take any stock in that BMI scale. It has its inherent flaws. But anyway, sometimes I get real sick of this attitude. I don't eat more than the average person does, and I excersize regularly. But my whole family is overweight to some extent, and I think that's a big factor as well. I will say that I carry my weight a lot better than other people who are my weight, because I have a lot of muscle mass, and can bench press a lot. It doesn't mean I'm not a good person, am a glutton, or don't care about others.

[u4ic]

84. I'm disabled through illness

and can't exercise like I used to. I'm lucky to get around the block once a week. Yet my weight is all over the place...I lost 50 lbs at one point (as I couldn't digest food), and now I'm gaining a lot of it back (I'm about 160 and 5'5). I have a larger frame.

It concerns me, but I can't envision starving myself. I, like so many others, eat well, but my DNA tells me I should be labouring on a farm in Eastern Europe and spurting out kids, not trying to win societal beauty contests.

As for PE classes...mine consisted of mostly gymnastics in the winter, and track in the spring/fall, interspersed with the odd game of baseball, basketball and floor hockey.

I looked like the unathletic dope, yet I was very active in cycling, horse back riding (jumping and dressage to be exact), badminton, tennis and street hockey out of school. What the school offered were the sports I was the worst at. My esteem suffered a bit, yes (except floor hockey, as I was the best d**ned goalie of the bunch! lol).

I wish there were many more options in PE class for those not that athletically inclined, like yoga or tai chai. We need to learn that rough'em, tough'em sports, or ones were are judged at, aren't the only way to stay healthy.

[private_ryan]

94. sorry but I don't buy this "I'm helpess" attitude

if I don't work out I'd be 300+ lbs too. Guess what? I work out and keep my weight in check. I don't eat salads, but rarely eat fat food to keep the calories down. The majority of people, by far, can control their weight. When I was younger I couldn't gain a pound if I wanted to, now if I don't hit the gym in a week they keep piling up.

You're doing something wrong or lying to yourself. Walking might work for soem but not others so you need to find yoru thing.

[buckettgirl]

95. obviously this thread wasn't meant for you

YOu are the kind of people I'm talking about.
You who DON'T GET IT!

So, you can fuck off until you lose this attitude that it's easy.
If you think that people let themselves become morbidly obese, then you are living in lala land. There are lots of reasons the obese can't lose weight, many of which have nothing to do with dieting and exercise. Lets see, there are genetic factors, there are medical reasons, there are complications from medical issues, there are abuse issues, there are psychological issues, there are brain chemical/neurotransmitter issues. Shall I go on?
What don't you get? Obesity doesn't arise from just not exercising or over-eating. It is a very complex condition, which if not every part is addressed appropriately, then the obese person will never maintain weight loss.
If eating right and exercising were the solution, then there wouldn't be fat people.

[Name removed]

96. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[buckettgirl]

98. Yes, that would be you.

If you think that fat people don't try to lose weight, then you certainly have issues.
If you think that I do not try to lose weight, then you definitely have issues - especially since you do no know me and have NO CLUE how much time, effort, and money I have put into losing weight.
You deserve to be slapped. I hope you piss off the right person in real life and they do slap you!

[TLM]

104. Ask yourself an honest question....

Have you spent so much time and money trying to lose weight... or trying to lose weight the easiest way you can?

A lot of people waste time and money because they seek quick fixes or easy diets or scams etc. Alway looking to cut a corner.

The only way to lose weight safely and keep it off isa fundimental change in your overall lifestyle and habits.

Eat right and exercise and keep doing it.

[buckettgirl]

108. Again, you don't know me

I bet that in the past 10 years I have lost a grand total of around 200 lbs. Guess what, it didn't stay off.
I KNOW that it requires a lifestyle change. But that doesn't only include eating right and exercising! DUH!
As I said before, obesity is a complex issue that REQUIRES attention to be paid to other areas of one's life.
To make a lifestyle change, it MUST include a behavioral/psychological aspect or the weight loss will never be maintained.
Why don't you get that?

[630111]

164. Thanks for being tolerant

I walk two miles a day everyday and I eat well. I've seen a doctor, had tests, and am told I just need to exercise and eat well. I don't do diets or scams or cut corners. Yet I am still overweight!

Thanks for thinking what works for you works for everyone. I don't appreciate you assuming the worst of us.

[private_ryan]

116. I hate to ruin your dream

but the chances of me being slapped are fairly slim. Why don't you have your boyfriend or husband try since you're upset?

First you blamed your parents, your genes and now me. Everyone but yourself. It's hard to lose the wight especially when you reach a certain weight but you have to find out what works for you and stay at it. It's like trying to balance Bush's budget right now after he's been spending for 4 years like a drunk sailor. It takes time and trying and spending money is not enough.

You can try to get to New York but you aren't getting there if you don't take the right road. Also, many people quit when they don't lose 50 lbs in the first month or so. Not to mention the starvation diets which are impossible to maintain actually make you gain more weight since they slow your metabolism.

[chefgirl]

135. Was the title of this thread 'Obese HATERS Unite' ?

Ya know, it really doesn't matter if you are right or wrong, private ryan.

All you're doing is getting your dick hard by verbally abusing the original poster because you have the safe anonymity of sitting behind a computer screen. Obviously this thread wasn't meant for people like you, but you just couldn't resist, could you? That's just chickenshit.

Hey, here's an idea, why don't you go and try out that theory of yours by spewing it, in just the same condescending way you did in this thread, to the next big fat MALE you see walking down the street?

Yeah, you're probably right about the chances of you getting slapped being pretty slim. People like you generally dont have stones enough to shoot your mouth off to someone in person.

-chef-

[Qanisqineq]

97. Not exactly true

I was 110 lbs. and suddenly put on 70lbs. in a year. It wasn't because I was lazy or eating fast food, although I thought that must be the problem. It turned out I have a tumor on one of my endocrine glands. Through all this, I found out (because they tested me for it) that a large number of women have multiple cysts on their ovaries and gain weight and are unable to lose it (PCOS - Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). And these women have no idea. They think they are just "fat" or "lazy".

Don't assume people aren't trying or are doing something wrong.

[Biased Liberal Media]

124. Wow what the hell is wrong with people here??

I cannot believe how rude some of the DUers on this thread are. I uphold a lot of you to be respectful but I guess I was wrong.

To the poster above: I too have PCOS and insulin resistance. Within a year after getting the Depo Provera shot, I gained 100 lbs. They still need to test my adrenal gland to find out if I have a tumor on it. Been on every diet imaginable, using the Insulin Resistance Diet as a guide (very simple to do) and walking and so far, nothing. I am going to be adding Pilates to the mix very soon.

[Qanisqineq]

159. I know the emotional pain

having this disease can cause. They couldn't find any cysts on my ovaries so started testing me for other things from there. My latest symptom: kidney stones. The doctor thinks it is all related. But for the first year (approximately), doctors just kept telling me to "go for a walk" and I was exercising more than I ever had in my life!!!!!

[Biased Liberal Media]

175. I am so sorry

If you want to talk please feel free to PM me. I am so very sorry that you are going through all this. PCOS is a PAIN IN THE ASS and everything that comes along with it is too. I noticed my hair is REALLY thinning out. It depressed me.

My former GYN was a freakin' genius. Everything he thought that was wrong with me sure enough, was the problem. My insulin count, my glucose not even being a factor, before I moved out of state he told me I NEEDED to get my adrenal gland looked at by an endocrinologist because of everything I have done to lose weight. He said he had a hunch (another one of his famous hunches) that it was adrenal as well. But like MOST Americans, I do NOT have medical insurance...so I've been without medical care for nearly 2 years now. My next step is homeopathic/alternative remedies.

[TLM]

99. I have been in your shoes...

And I have to say that I disagree with you.

I was at 300 lbs myself about a year and a half ago.

I'm now at 210. My target weight is 195-200.

I did it with diet and exercise. I cut down sugar... not carbs, but the sugar. Particularly high fructose corn syrup and refined sugar. I still do eat rough sugar and things like honey, but I try to avoid refined and HFCS like the plague. Although mountain dew code red is my weakness... (damn your deliciousness!) The HFCS is in a lot more things than you might think... so you have to read labels.

I did not eat less, really, rather I ate more vegetables and more fish... mostly steamed.

And I exercised 3 times a week for about 20 or 30 minutes on my total gym.

That's all it really took. It is a matter of changing bad habits and replacing them with good healthy habits.

[buckettgirl]

109. I am glad that worked for you

If that would work for me, I would do it too... but I need more than that.
For one thing, until I took Meridia, I never felt full off of normal portions of food. It took going on Meridia for me to even realize what a healthy serving size looks like and feels like. I was so happy!
For another thing, I can't keep weight off until my attitude towards food changes.. I know this, but I can't do it myself. How do I explain it: its like having all the pieces of the puzzle, but not being able to put them together.
As as Christmas present, my parents are helping me to get enrolled at the Wellness Center (affliated with the hospital). Also, my mom and I are looking into the Lifestyle Change Program that they offer. The cost is about $500 (well outside my price range) but it includes things I need to succeed such as group support, behavioral counseling, and a keep-on-your-ass attitude - basically having to be accountable to someone else.
This is what I know I need to succeed, otherwise I will continue to yoyo with my weight and be at more health risks than before. The sad thing is, though, that without my parents help, these services would all be well beyond my financial reach.
We want people to lose weight, but we can't offer affordable services... what a shame

[Ms. Toad]

147. You're still in the losing stage.

That's the easy part. Check back in five years - your attitude may have changed some.

Like most folks who struggle with weight, I've bounced up and down over time. Losing was always easy (40-70 lbs at at time). The first few times I had your attitude, but after the pounds creep or gallop back on with their buddies the attitude mellows.

6 years ago I lost about 70 lbs, and was finally able to keep it off for a significant period of time (3 - 4 years with no significant weight gain). The difference - I changed how I lost weight to a method of eating that was sustainable (no way I can count calories, or points, or whatever substitute calorie counter is the current fad for much longer than an initial loss period). I also identified the emotional I was keeping the weight on (protection against sexual violence arising out of being raped 20 years earlier).

I put back on 30+ lbs over the last 3 years - but am now back within 10 lbs of where I want to be(I'm 139 at 5'2").

Do I think I will be able to stay around 130 forever? Don't know. I expect it will be easier over time. It was no particular struggle to maintain the weight loss for 3-4 years, maybe I'll have a longer period without a struggle this time. But - beyond the initial weight loss it is rarely as simple as changing bad habits and replacing them with good healthy habits. It takes a whole life change in order to not only replace those habits for the short term weight loss period - but to sustain them through the whatever it was that created/supported them in the first place.

As I acknowledged to myself as I was losing the weight 6+ years ago - even though I have identified and overcome the emotional reason for keeping the weight on I have decades of habits (and tastes)- over half a lifetime - to modify. I was able to sustain it longer than I ever had before - and perhaps this time it will be permanent.

Even if it is permanent, I will never tell someone who hasn't been able to lose weight - and keep it off - that is is a just a matter of changing habits.

(And even though I currently look too skinny at a size 8/10, I certainly unite with the sentiments expressed in this thread)

[Nikia]

100. It seems that weight is more of a women's issue

Overweight women make a little less than their "ideal" weight counterparts. Obese women make a lot less money than women of ideal weight.
Overweight men make more money than "ideal" weight men. Obese men make only slightly less than "ideal" weighted men.
Sure morbidly obese men suffer too, but when it comes to people in the overweight and just inside of the obese range, women are given a really hard time while men barely suffer socially or economically. If we were only concerned about people's health, we would be more concerned about an overweight man than an overweight woman.

[porphyrian]

102. I'm fat, but I don't like most fat people.

I guess it's "fat thinking" that turns me off. By that, I mean the clingy, desperate, self-pitying, pathetic, depressed kind of mindset fat people get like. I can't fucking stand it.

[UncleSepp]

103. OT sorta, but do you have one of the porphyrias?

If so, does it affect your metabolism or the foods you can eat? I'm curious, because I'm just barely under the criteria for AIP (borderline on the chem tests). I also have a lot of strange drug reactions and high cholesterol despite a good diet.

[porphyrian]

105. No, I don't...

...but I've been fascinated with the condition since I found out it turns peoples' piss blue.

[Digit]

118. Well, I pretty much like everyone, except for narrow minded twits

Some of the most obnoxious people had what I guess one would consider to be beautiful bodies. Too bad they are too self-absorbed to have developed a personality.

[buckettgirl]

121. Amen to that! n/t

[porphyrian]

127. Ah, they're easy...

That kind is almost always harboring serious self-consciousness. Just tell them what they're wearing makes them look a little fat and watch them freak out.

[IronLionZion]

106. I'm not obese but will unite anyway!

just a little chubby since I'm so damn lazy and love to eat!

:toast:

[MARALE]

107. You sound like my sister

She is 6' and about 280lbs. She has had her stomach stapled and was going to get that surgery that Al Rupert had. Her doctor had his license pulled before he did it though (that God she did not go through with it) She is the most wonderful person I know and she is built like my dad, I'm like my mom. I know it is genetic and is a lot harder for her. She is very smart and is very funny, and definitely not lazy. I am with you on all the obese put downs.

[maxsolomon]

112. what a circle jerk

if you didn't make yourself obese, who did?

i made myself 25 lbs. overweight, i made myself lose it.

[Digit]

117. Are you feeling smug?

What an asinine thing to say.
Why are you even posting to this thread?

[Silverhair]

119. Help is on the way.

Read the current issue of Scientific American. Dec, 2004, page 22. A pill is being developed that will be the equal of a workout. No side effects have been observed so far. The mice that have been given the pill have become "Schwarzeneggger mice", able to run 1,800 meters without stopping.

Also, a few months ago, there was an article in both SciAm & Discover magazine, same months issue, about a shot that will change a person's DNA so that they become lean and muscular without exercise. And the change would be permanent, but not inheritable.

So far neither of those have been tested on humans.

[buckettgirl]

122. well

that would be great. Pills can help aid in losing weight as long as other issues are addressed. That's why I couldn't keep the weight off after I went off Meridia. I lost 50 pounds, but didn't really learn anything... I wish I weren't so naive then.
I have heard of the new drug that supposed to be approved soon.. I believe the brand name is Acompia - I could be wrong though. It supposed to supress smokers cravings, aid in weight loss, and help substance abusers beat their addiction. Sounds too good to be true, probably is. And it will be mega expensive.

[EstimatedProphet]

123. THANK YOU!

I'm fed up with hearing from spoiled thin people. How many of them have worked out to the point that they ruined a joint? I've got 2 shot knees and a bad shoulder now, all from some for of exercise, and I'm supposed to try HARDER?!?

[samtob]

129. Been there..

For a period of about 7 years I was on the diet roller coaster, always climbing back up to my original weight.

It is frustrating to feel so good about the accomplishment of losing weight, just to feel like $hit again when the weight comes back.

I tried all of the silly diets and supplements right to the point I had nearly given up the idea of maintaining a healthy weight.

Everyone is different, not one regimine will work for everyone. But I finally found what worked for me, and have kept the weight off for 12 years now (even after giving birth two more times).

For me, it was a low fat, low carb (not as low as the new fad diets). Basically 13 grams of fat a day was my limit, since I lost the weight, 21 grams of fat is now my max daily.

No butter, no ice cream, no fried foods, no chocolate, no processed meats, no cheese, no mayonaise, blah blah blah etc etc. It really really sucked at first. Now I don't miss any of that at all. As a matter of fact, one bite of a french fry tastes like I am chewing shortening. lol

Bless you if you are comfortable in your skin, best of wishes to you if you do make the choice to try again.

[GaYellowDawg]

131. This has been an amazing thread to read.

I guess I'll jump in here. I still remember running cross-country in high school. As a senior, running 8+ miles a day, I still weighed 175. Well, it's been a LONG time since high school, and I'm around 280. This year, I've made a real effort to exercise - I swim at least 20 laps (a lap being down AND back) at least five times a week. On Fridays, when I know I've got two days recovery time coming up, sometimes I can knock out a mile. It's a rare day when I reach 1500 calories. I've lost a grand total of 35 pounds this year.

Frankly, I got this way because I stopped exercising and kept eating. What's happened to me has been pretty much my fault. That said, I'm smart enough to realize that there are plenty of people out there who have weight issues that aren't their fault. Everyone has different metabolisms and everyone is physically different. My personal habits would have made zero difference in some people. They would have made some people weigh 400 pounds.

I know I'm a newbie, but I'll say this: those of you who have been chiming in and been rude and hypercritical can consider this a gold-plated invitation to kiss my entire ass. If you consider it anathema to invade the sexual lives and preferences of others, how dare you condemn the eating habits and weights of others? Save your contempt for those who have problems with their ideals, not their weight.

[buckettgirl]

132. Thank you

I needed to hear that! I hate it when people like that back me into a corner.
I know that part of my weight problem is my fault. I know that part of it I couldn't have changed no matter what I did. I'm only 23 years old. I would have known, say when I was 10 years old what I know now, and actually really understood the implications of it, I would not be where I am now.
When you grow up fat, it most certainly isn't all *your* fault. You only learn what others teach you, as far as eating and exercise habits go. And then at that, sometimes it doesn't matter what they teach you because your weight is based on other issues entirely.

Congratulations on your weight loss. I am glad you have found something that has worked for you. :) I would definitely be thankful for that this Thanksgiving. Keep it up!

[Quill Pen]

136. Well said, and...

I'll add that I think the only reason obesity is such an easy target for judgment is that it's so easy to see.

I refer to a marvelous post made earlier this year on Salon's Table Talk by a fat chick:

"But honestly, is there a fat woman alive who DOESN'T KNOW? Who doesn't know every minute of every day? Who doesn't know that a 5 oz. serving of meat is the size of a deck of playing cards and that eight 8 oz. glasses of water a day are important and blueberries are high in antioxidants AND fiber and that whole grains are better nutritionally than refined and white sugar is poisonpoisonPOISON? Who doesn't know that no matter where she goes, someone will be looking at what she eats and making some sort of judgment, and someone else will look at what she wears and make another sort of judgment and someone else will look at her and just feel happy that at least she's not THAT big and someone else will look at her and feel sad for her, and that is judgment too.

And meanwhile, people who don't have to wear their sins on their bodies, people who cut people off in traffic and park in handicapped spots just for a second and smack their children and cheat on their taxes and laugh at homeless people? They get a pass. Because you can't tell what kind of person they are just by looking at them. And you can't tell who I am just by looking at me, either. But some people think they can anyway. And it makes me tired."

http://www.salon.com/tt/post/2004/06/11/post/index.html

[Biased Liberal Media]

149. Welcome to DU and THANK YOU for this post

Thank you very much for this!

[630111]

138. I've been silent long enough!

I'm with you all the way. I'm tired of being mistreated as an obese person - fuck anyone that doesn't like the way I look. Just because I'm big and that doesn't give anyone the right to mistreat me - and it doesn't matter WHY I'm big, either.

And screw anyone in this thread that has nothing but mean things to say to us - we're tired of it, dammit!

I'm a big guy, and I think big women are the most beautiful women in the world.

You are NOT alone!

WIDE PRIDE !!

[Biased Liberal Media]

148. Wide pride!! LOL!!! I like that! n/t

[630111]

155. Hey!

Where's my "Welcome to DU and thank you for the post"?! :P

[Biased Liberal Media]

174. My bad! Welcome to DU!

and thank you for your post! ;)

Seriously though...I like that!

[Goldmund]

144. I'm an example of another way to prove it's not about being lazy...

...or not eating right.

I'm 6'4'' and I weigh 185 lbs. I eat whatever comes my way and I drink soda. I never excercise. I'm 29.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

145. I hear ya'. I put on a lot of weight from taking anti-depressants.

Genetics, medications, medical conditions...so much has to do with one's body type/weight, etc. My doc put my on different meds and I've lost the weight. I guess my point is, I've been on both sides. I'm sensitive to your point of view, and I will quickly jump down someone's throat if/when I hear them making insensitive comments relative to weight issues.

I used to get teased mercilessly for being really skinny when I was a kid. I'd get called, 'Olive Oil,' and other names that really hurt.

People can be really insensitive. The important thing is that you feel good about yourself. Screw what anyone else thinks or says when they're being ignorant and ugly.

[Pushed To The Left]

150. We must oppose ALL discrimination and prejudice!!

I look at it like this: You're either pro-discrimination or you're anti-discrimination. Period. If somebody is against racial or gender discrimination, but thinks it's okay to discriminate against gay people, they are pro-discrimination. If you think it is wrong to be prejudiced against minorities, women, and gay people, but hate the overweight, you are a prejudiced person. It's time that society stops picking and choosing and starts being consistent. Some hardcore conservatives and libertarians oppose all discrimination laws. While I disagree 100%, I respect that opinion a hell of a lot more than the preposterous argument that Group A should be protected, but Group B shouldn't be.

[DARE to HOPE]

152. Wow!! It must be GREAT to be 6 ft tall!! :-)

Really, been there, too. And a perfectionist to boot. :-/

BUT--there is good news and bad news.

The BAD news is--they have been lying about this, gang, just like a lot of other things.
But the GOOD news is--the truth will set us free!! :-)

Just put "coconut oil health" into Google to find out more. Since the 1950's they have fed us corn oil and soy oil, making us as fat as the pigs they were fattening for the market. I mean, they KNEW it! When they fed the little piggies coconut oil in the late 1940's, it made them ENERGIZED and SKINNY. A lot of folks have been getting healed with coconut in the last couple years since an article appeared in Woman's World magazine. Makes you stronger, healthier, and, over time, thinner--a GOOD fat, ala Atkins, which provides nutrition, and nurturing, too.

The other thing, of course, is the sugar. BUT NUTRASWEET is POISON!! And will not only cause you to crave sugar, but will kill your nervous system. It was Don Rumsfeld, as CEO of Searle, came into the Reagan admin, who gave us this. Best substitute for sugar I have found is xylitol (birch sugar) which also prevents cavities and builds tooth enamel.

Focus on organic fruit and vegetables, add clean protein, like organic eggs, free range chicken, sardines, and some whole grains in moderation. Coconut milk or oil or shredded makes for a lot of good desserts. Stay away from all the chemicals, including the fat-inducing hormones in the poultry and meat supply. Eating good foods satisfies, so we are not constantly craving nutrients that we really need (eg, sea salt satisfies, whereas the sodium chloride on our tables is missing the minerals, so we crave MORE of it.)

Health is a political issue. As we can see, it is bankrupting our GNP, as well as all of our households. But it is also a spiritual issue. And just walking, in a tree lined place, or by the water, for 20-30 min/day is a happiness inducer as well as health builder.

We are made the beautiful children of God! And He needs us in ALL shapes and sizes, with a variety of talents and gifts to the world!

God bless you, child, and every one.

[xequals]

153. There is definitely a genetic component to weight.

It is not just physical - it is psychological.

We are not blank slates. We are animals with predetermined characteristics, shaped by evolution. There is no such thing as free will. "Free will" is only a choice within a range (which is determined by our genetics).

However, that doesn't mean one should sit back and give up when facing unfair odds. Overweight people should still try to get into a more normal weight range. We should all try to be our best, regardless of the genetic hand we were dealt. I don't buy into this helpless mentality, although I understand the difficulty. I was overweight as a kid. I believe the problem has more to do with addiction centers in the brain than anything else (e.g. metabolism).

As a libertarian I believe in the right of the individual, and people have a right to be however they want to be. But they also have to accept that they will face ridicule. We humans evolved to be drawn to healthy looking, attractive people and to be repulsed by unhealthy looking, unattractive people. It is natural for us to have those feelings, if not always morally correct.

[u4ic]

154. Define attractive??!?

"We humans evolved to be drawn to healthy looking, attractive people and to be repulsed by unhealthy looking, unattractive people"

And through the centuries, concepts of what is attractive have changed. In some societies today (and throughout history), fat IS/WAS attractive - it signified health and wealth.

It is only in the 20th century that the stick insect look for women became 'attractive'.

[xequals]

157. Although styles change, there are certain "attractiveness ratios"

scientists have found to persist across cultures and eras. IIRC, the ratio for an attractive female body is usually where the waist-to-hip ratio is .6:1, regardless of weight trends, which tend to range from very thin (like Twiggy) to voluptuous (like Marilyn Monroe). An attractive female face is where the eyes, lips and cheeks are bigger and fuller in relation to the nose. For males is is a stronger chin and jaw, broader shoulders and of course height.

Although we've been taught to believe otherwise, our fundamental idea of beauty is not a result of cultural programming. Humans like any other animals have a biologically/evolutionary determined preference for members of their species who possess certain qualities... qualities which were crucial to the survival of the species somewhere along the evolutionary timeline.

[buckettgirl]

166. I can grant the scientific view but

That still doesn't give anyone the right to ridicule someone who doesn't fit into their idea of attractive - whether they snicker behind their back or shout to their face.
No person should EVER have to accept that they will be ridiculed - for whatever reason, whether being fat, thin, tall, short, wearing glass, being gay, race, gender, poor, whatever.
If more people would teach their children tolerance and acceptance and that it is flat out wrong and rude to say derogatory things to ANYONE, there probably wouldn't be such issues now.

[u4ic]

171. We are more than just

victims of our biology.

While there is no doubt we have some inherent biological propensities, reproductive fitness was not only about attractiveness...adaptation has always been the key.

If big eyes or square jaws were so crucial to our survival, then all of us would have them, as those who didn't would have been weeded out in the course of our evolution.

Extra weight, throughout our history, has always been crucial, due to famine. It is only recently it has become an issue, considering that we have an endless supply of food, not to mention our activity level going down. (I mean a very basic activity level, like walking to our destination, or doing things manually rather than having machines do it for us, or sitting at a desk all day)

Attractiveness is not just defined by one's looks...intelligence and personality traits have always been important. It's no good having a woman with the ideal waist to hip ratio if she's dumber than a doornail and STILL can't get the fact that those berries are poisonous.

We can never underestimate the power of society, and all it's implications and bias that help shape us. And by saying that, I am not underestimating our biology, only that we are multi faceted, complex creatures. We have often gone 'beyond' our biology - after all, we didn't evolve with cars and space shuttles and George Foreman grills.

Even smarter critters such as parrots - who are often compared with chimps and whales/dolphins - have preferences that go beyond attractiveness (meaning reproductive attractiveness). I've lost count of how many would rather stay mated with their unattractive, feather plucked mate rather than a new, 'healthy', in perfect feather looking one. Again, they have highly developed social skills, such as ourselves, and while this is not conclusive proof that we do the same, it does show that the healthy, attractive looking assumption is not the be all and end all of theories.

Here's an interesting article; unfortunately I can't access the study they refer to as it's for paying members only.

http://www.news.wisc.edu/releases/9679.html

[mastershake]

158. Word.. but I am concerned about health..

I think its good you're trying to change for health purposes. I will say that I don't like people who promote it as "OK" to be overweight. At the same time I don't think someone should be judged by others for it. The reason I say it's not ok is just exactly why you want to change it.. health issues. Hey if someone doesn't care and thats just what they want.. then ok.. it's like smoking.. people know its not healthy but who cares they wanna do it, and who am i to say they shouldn't ya know?

It is a serious thing.. genetics plays a part as you said, not to mention we don't exactly live in a time where healthy living is something easily promoted... working out is something most people can do even with out expensive equipment.. but EATING healthy is another thing. Healthy food isn't exactly cheap... and with the job situation many are in today it's a lot easier for someone to want to spend 99 cents on a double cheeseburger then 5 times that for something better for your body..

[PittLib]

162. Hi buckettgirl ...

I appreciate this thread. While I understand that the majority of those offering you advice, are doing so with good intention - I think you are looking for tolerance. I won't pretend to understand your situation, but I won't judge you either. I am not overweight. That is not necessarily due to hard work, I am lucky. I work with many women who struggle with their weight, and I try to be empathetic ... though it frustrates me to see how far they will go (and how much damage they'll do to themselves) to achieve some kind of "standard". I am thin, therefore I have a small bust ... no big deal (no pun) until someone insists on making it an issue (and they do). With implants and stomach stapling and so on, people feel like they have the right to judge ... as if we should all compromise our health for this standard ideal of beauty. I guess the point is that we all have self image issues ... but it would behoove all of us to work a little harder see the real person, and not be so quick to judge someone based on the superficial. I applaud you ... and I hope that you fight to make people see you as you see yourself. Don't let others decide your beauty or worth.

[630111]

165. Well said, and thanks for the support!

n/t

[buckettgirl]

167. Thank you

It is good to hear from someone who hasn't been there, but is still capable of being empathetic... I would love to hear from more people like that.
You are very right about what people (particularly women) are willing to do to uphold a standard. It is very sad. I am glad to say that I don't live by those standards. It was like a light-switch came on when I *finally* figured out I have to lose weight for myself and my own reasons if I am ever to be successful. My idea of success is being able to wear pretty much all the clothes in my closet (smallest is size 16). :)

What you wrote about being able to see the real person... that really reminded me of my husband. For about the first year of our relationship, he had a VERY difficult time convincing me that he TRULY loved me for me, that my size wasn't an issue, and he really did want to spend his life with me no matter what happened or what other people thought. I am sure that I picked a good man. I wish there were more people like him, who don't give damn about appearances.
Thank you for your post! :)

[spooky3]

170. My first hubby once told me

at a time when I was on the pill and had gotten up to (gasp) 136 pounds at 5'6", that while he loved me he would not find me attractive if I got any fatter, and he felt he had to be honest about that.

Several years later, I decided to get off the pill, got really thin for myself (maybe a little too thin, although I got tons of compliments when as I neared 109), and dumped him.

[PittLib]

173. Good for you ...

if that is all he saw, he wasn't worthy of you.

[spooky3]

177. thanks, PittLib!

:hug:

[PittLib]

172. I am glad he "convinced" you ...

you are worth it. :hug:

On edit: I'm glad you see that he is right.

[Danmel]

178. Weight is Very Complex

I'm 5 feet tall and my weight (except for when I was pregnant) has remained with 5 pounds for pretty much my entire adult life.I am now 44. Now my doctor will tell me it's about 10-15 pounds too high. BUT.... at about 120-125 pounds I can eat whatever I want. Now, naturally, I am not really a snacker, and I don't have a sweet tooth. To weigh 110-115 pounds, I cannot eat more than about 1100 calories a day and I have to think about every bite of food I eat, which needless to say ruins it completely. I generally wear a six 6 or 8, depending upon how things are cut.

That said I can eat a whole loaf of bread or a 16 oz steak or half a chicken at a sitting with no problem. I also eat a varied diet with lots of salad, veggies, fish and fruit.

I really think people have set points- a weight at which their body is comfortable and naturally programmed to be. Because as long as I am not a total pig, or Gandhi like, I weigh essentially the same thing.

The key of course, if to be healthy. I wouldn't let my weight get higher than 125 because at that point, aside from not fitting into my clothes, I'd start to be concerned about health ramifications. So far, though I've been lucky and my weight seems to stay in that range.

I feel for people who gain weight very easily or have massive fluctuations. I simply can't imagine what I'd have to eat to gain a large amount of weight. I feel very lucky that I'm not a lot bigger than I am.