What would be your best advice to someone you love who is going to Iraq?

[Samantha]

I never thought I would be asking this question at this site. Tonight I learned someone I have been very close to is scheduled to leave for Iraq soon. He's in the reserves. This kid is not my kid, but he seems like my kid.

I want to call him and ask him candidly how he feels about Bush* and the war. I am not sure his brothers and sisters would speak up and advise him to not go, but I have no problem in doing that. I want to be sure he knows all his options.

I have been thinking of recommending to him that before he assumes he must go, he should explore all of his options. My limited knowledge of those options are: (1) hiring a lawyer now to advise him of what will probably happen should he refuse to go, what he can expect in terms of being sent to prison; (2) checking the net for websites advising those who are contemplating refusing to go; (3) attempting to leave the country (this would be extremely difficult for him to do; he has a wife and two young children).

If you have any suggestions or info you can pass along, please share it. I guess I should have been paying closer attention, but as I said, I never thought I would find myself in this situation.

[Mojambo]

1. Even if he ends up going

the lawyer thing is a very good idea.

Never ever sign any military document without having the lawyer look at it. There have been reports of people being tricked into longer service.

[__Inanna__]

2. I'd say get a lawyer first

although I don't know it'll do any good. His hands may be tied. Second, with a family, how hard. I honestly don't know what other options there are, but I would investigate it from a legal perspective before I would just show up and go. I am sorry.

[solarspa]

3. You sound level headed

I would want to talk to you if I was called up for Iraq. Trust your instincts and follow your heart. You seem to be very level-headed in regard to all the legal stuff. I wouldn't call on the phone though...talk in person alone.

[GetTheRightVote]

4. Tell him what I tell my own son, do not go, the war is wrong

This is Bush's created war, there are no WMDs, they were never our enemy, they are simply pawns in Bushs desire for glory and fame. His life is worth more then that, tell him not to go, that he owes nothing to a man who has lied about the big picture. I know so many who are refusing to go because of the lies there are others he can reach out to for understanding, he can reach out to people like you and me. It is wrong for him to go over there and kill those people without a just cause which we do not have, it is more wrong to go then to stay and reject Bush's death sentence to the working class. As you can see I feel rather strongly about it perhaps you do too, good luck.

[Samantha]

11. I have no problem discussing my objection to the war and to Bush*

I simply feel I need an abundance of information, should he agree, to offer him as to his options. To tell you the truth, I personally do not know anyone who has refused to go. I need legitimate information as to all of the options a person has who takes this stand, in the event I am able to persuade him there are those who would understand a refusal to go. There is no shame in refusing to participate in this war in Iraq.

We are talking about someone who probably feels he must go, regardless of his position on Bush* and the war. He needs to realize there are many, many people who certainly do not condone this war, and we do not consider it his "patriotic" duty to participate in it should he decide not to do so. In that regard, he must have definitive plans as to which avenue he wants to pursue in the aftermath. I want to assemble all of those options for him before I talk to him.

If it were me, I would have no problem deciding how to deal with this situation. But he is cut from a different cloth, more of a conservative nature. I want to be forthright and candid with him, but most of all, I want to be armed with info.

Someone here recently posted a website where one could go for advice. I would love for that person to read my question and respond with that website.

Thank you for your advice.

[raggedcompany]

5. re: I want to call him..about Bush and the war

I don't know much about your relationship, but may I suggest a gentle touch? Last thing this kid needs is for someone to lobby him over very very difficult decisions. If I were him, and someone approached me trying to tell me how I didn't have to go, and seemed a little too interested in convincing me, it would freak me out. If he's receptive to a discussion of ALL his option, great. But if he's not, drop it lest you harm your relationship with him, and just support the kid whatever way you can, regardless whether he ends up going or not.
But I suppose you probably already thought about all so..good luck.

[Samantha]

14. This kid is like MY kid

His mom and dad have passed on. I want to talk to him in a responsible way, as I feel his mom would should she still be around. I was extremely close to his mother, and I was around him as he grew up.

I do not feel being honest and candid would harm my relationship with him; however, I will tell him the literal truth and take my chances because should he go and I remain silent, I don't think my conscience would ever be clear about not having spoken up if something happens to him. Even if he makes it back, that war will have to change him. I just can't not discuss it with him.

But thank you for your advice.

[Smarmie Doofus]

6. Encourage him not to go....

unless he's absolutely gung ho. It's an evil war of aggression, no matter how you cut it, and he'll be both complicit with the evil and possibly a victim of it.

#Option 2 sounds good: hooking up with an internet community of folks similarly inclined; least that could happen is he'll learn what his options are. Option 3 sounds difficult indeed, given the kids and all... but may not be as difficult as getting killed or permanently disabled in an ignoble cause.

It's quite a dilemma; good luck.

[alcuno]

7. Before offering advice, ask him how he feels about going.

I don't think that we should interfere with people who say they want to go or who say that they believe in the mission and have a duty to go.

[Technowitch]

13. Exactly, as Alcuno says.

I have a nephew, serving in Bagdag last I'd heard, in the 1st Infantry out of Fort Hood.

He wants to serve. I couldn't possibly talk him out of it.

I guess the thing to do is to ask this kid if he does want to go. If the answer is 'no' -- then it's time to call an attorney.

If the answer is 'yes', you simply have to respect his right to make that choice.

-Technowitch

[Red_Viking]

8. Definitely get a lawyer

When you enlist in the military you sign a contract. There are defenses against the enforcement of a contract. An attorney can advise your friend about his options.

If all else fails and he has to go, give him your unconditional support. I'm sure he'll be scared--Lord knows I would be.

Godspeed to him and all our brave men and women, sent to a country where we have no business being, to fight in an invented war for the enrichment of the motherfuckers in power. May they all rot slowly from the inside and die choking on their own blood.

Wait; was that my inside voice or my outside voice? :P

RV

[GetTheRightVote]

10. Thank you Red-Viking

I could not have stated it better.

[KG]

9. 'don't volunteer for anything'

[morgan2]

12. take the jail time