http://www.bettybowers.com/interview.htmlReverend Legion: But do you Southern Baptists believe in forgiveness?
Betty Bowers: Yes, absolutely. But just because one forgives does not mean that one forgets. I may forgive one of my shiftless domestic help for breaking a lovely piece of French porcelain. But that doesn't mean I'm going to forget about it when I dock her pay at the end of the month. Similarly with God. He may forgive you your trespasses (or, more often than not with His memory, simply let them slip His mind), but that doesn't mean they won't pop into His head come Judgment Day and send you hurtling into the fiery pits of Hell with a speed so fast it will break your neck like a number 2 pencil. I mean, in spite of what all these touchy-feely homosexual-loving liberal so-called Christians would have you believe, God is not some soft-hearted pushover. I mean, He may forgive you for having a child out of wedlock, but according to Deuteronomy your bastard won't ever
get into church. And neither will his family. For ten -- count 'em -- ten, generations. Now, that's not Someone who can't hold a grudge. So there are going to be whole busloads of people real surprised come Judgment Day.
Reverend Legion: Mrs. Bowers, Betty, may I call you Betty?
Betty Bowers: No. Only my Savior calls me Betty. And that was only after many years and no small reluctance on my part. I think familiarity is tacky and shows a deplorable lack of breeding. Of course, Jesus was born in a stable, but still, He's had long enough to learn better and I can't allow that type of faux-intimacy.
Reverend Legion: Well, Mrs. Bowers, if you had been there when Jesus helped the Harlot, would you have "cast the first stone"?
Betty Bowers: It would depend.
Reverend Legion: On what?
Betty Bowers: Both practical and theological considerations. For example, while I might find myself sorely tempted to lodge a nice piece of anthracite between the tart's eyes, I might lose my ardor if I'd just had my nails done. But, regardless, I would imagine that I would end up having to hurl one at her.
Reverend Legion: Why would this be?
Betty Bowers: Well, Jesus Himself stated that she who is without sin should have the honor of casting the first stone. It is very much like the American tradition of allowing some noted politician or celebrity to throw out the first ball of the baseball season. I mean, if you are going to go to all the trouble of being sinless, Jesus wanted to makes sure that you had some earthly rewards for your efforts. So, if you were looking for sinless people, it would basically boil down to me and Jesus. And since He was trying to be nice to her, it wouldn't have done for Him to turn around and pop her in the head with a rock. So, I guess it would have been left to me.
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